Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Ass End of Town

In the Southern Sudan:
The authorities in southern Sudan have unveiled a $10bn (£6.4bn) plan to rebuild the region's cities in the shapes of animals and fruit.

Elaborate blueprints for the new cities have already been drawn up.

The regional capital, Juba, will be relocated and designed in the shape of a rhinoceros. Wau, the capital of Western Bahr el-Ghazal state, is to be a somewhat unwieldy giraffe.
I know where to situate the dump.

12 comments:

J— said...

Building a city in the shape of a flying vehicle is so 1960s.

Another Kiwi said...

Surely you jest, Mr. Mcgravitas. Do Vancouverines not have Refuse Transfer Stations?
I want to live in Nautilus shaped town, getting all Fibonacci on it.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

A.K. speeled Shirley wrong, which means he's probably a terraist.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I am now imagining games of pin the tail on the municipality.

M. Bouffant said...

Fucking animists.

Capcha: fruityi

I'll just bet.

Another Kiwi said...

Mr Thunder (ITIYRN)I am a terroirst, as I have noted before ,also and such.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

so when the cities sprout the inevitable ill-conceived and poorly built suburbs, it will be The Urban Centipede?

Actually, now that I consider, I think we've done that already. Several times.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Wau, the capital of Western Bahr el-Ghazal state, is to be a somewhat unwieldy giraffe.

A bit redundant. Giraffes are notoriously difficult to wield.

Substance McGravitas said...

True, most giraffes do not survive the arc-wielding process.

mikey said...

I once put together a Giraffe-Mounted cavalry detachment. Man, we were hell on hooves, with our handsomely decked out mounts thundering in their long-legged grace, our red satin sashes nothing so much as a promise of blood to be spilled, sabers glittering in the brilliant sunshine.

The enemy, however, quickly developed a strategy we could not overcome. When the battle was engaged, they would pull back to the other side of the overpass. We milled about helplessly for a time, then blew retreat and set off for home, a truly ignominious defeat.

To this day, we have not been able to teach those goddam Giraffes the simple command "Duck"....

Substance McGravitas said...

Ooh, a DUCK? WHERE? Let me look!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

DUCK CENTIPEDE!!!