Friday, April 30, 2010

Stoned?

FAIL:
A gang has attempted to steal the Stone of Destiny, the battered talisman of Scottish royalty that has been repeatedly targeted by thieves and politicians.

This time thieves turned up at Scone Palace, Perthshire, between closing time on Wednesday and opening time yesterday with a similar-sized boulder weighing 200 kg ‑ about as much as a fridge freezer.

The gang hauled the sandstone boulder off its plinth and replaced it with the lookalike, undeterred by the fact the palace stone is a century-old replica of the original, which left Scone some 700 years ago.

13 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"Stoned?"

Don't mind if I do!

mikey said...

"Scone Palace".

Is this like the infamous "Corn Palace" in Mitchell, in that it exists to honor the concept and history Scones? Or is it more literal, a Palace actually constructed of delicious Scones, the scents of butter and vanilla and maple wafting through it's various rooms, furnishings and fixtures comprised of nothing but variations on the Quickbread theme?

'Cause, YUM!

The whole replacement rock idea is simply genius. I have regularly taken the rocks out of my neighbor's yard. He never realizes it, though, because, see, I REPLACE them with similar looking rocks. The poor idiot's just not perceptive enough to tell the difference.

Sometimes even I'M impressed by my evil genius...

Substance McGravitas said...

The whole replacement rock idea is simply genius.

They could have gone to the bar with their giant rock and just said THIS IS THE ONE AND WE'VE REPLACED THE ONE IN THE CASTLE but I imagine it would have felt hollow.

Mikeys neighbour said...

Hah fucking hah, I switch 'em all back.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Well, of course the fake rock would feel hollow. If it wasn't hollow, how would they get it into the pub?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Or was that the joke you were trying to make and Zombie Has Not Had Enough To Drink, Or Possible Too Much?

Substance McGravitas said...

Uncareful writer was not making a joke about hollow rocks. But yeah, Steve-Austin-vs.-Sasquatch-style foam rocks are probably not gonna work out unless you're REALLY out of your mind on something.

Smut Clyde said...

the infamous "Corn Palace"
I have heard tell of an "International House of Pancakes", presumably something along similar lines.

Smut Clyde said...

I only get out of bed for stones that blink.

mikey said...

It is at the International House of Pancakes that the International Committee of Breakfast Non-Proliferation meets annually to discuss the Breakfast Non-Proliferation Treaty. At the most recent conference, in Tashkent, you'll remember the controversial decision to add Menudo to the list of banned Breakfast Foods of Mass Destruction. As our Smutty Ambassador from the Antipodes can attest, the annual debate over Blood Sausage is more heated and divisive every year.

I would only mention that I find it sad that the Developed Nations have come out so firmly against Spam. Certainly a dual-use product, it is the position of this delegation that Spam can be controlled and managed, and need not be added to the BFMD list...

fish said...

with a similar-sized boulder weighing 200 kg


Shows what a moron the writer was. Everyone knows a stone is 14 pounds.

mikey said...

...Everyone knows a stone is 14 pounds.

Well, yeah, dood, but the whole point is they didn't want to BUY it, they wanted to STEAL it...

Djur said...

This was the plot of Terry Pratchett's "The Fifth Elephant", I believe. Someone send Sam Vimes, he'll figure it out.