Liberty for Money, Not for Jokes

The darned liberals do it too!

Hey kids, hear about the latest rage? It’s “Tea Party Zombies Must Die” an exciting new first-person shooter “Advergame.”

I encourage you to click through for screenshots. Thanks Daniel Foster for the entertainment! But why would you be upset? You're the conservative with fairly libertarian leanings.

The Libertopian Ideal

Sally Kohn:

Don’t like the idea of tax dollars paying for public schools or highway construction or Medicare — or don’t like the idea of taxes at all? The brave new floating world offers just the solution. And if the self-appointed creators wish it, there would be no restrictions on guns or automatic weapons. Or, for that matter, no prohibition against murder. Pesky “moral suasion”!

The seasteading project is a bright and shiny warning buoy, heralding the dangerous agenda of otherwise tame-seeming libertarians. It raises the question of whether libertarians want to prune back American government or eliminate it altogether. This is not an idle concern. Prominent Libertarians want to abolish the Federal Reserve, FEMA and the TSA and that may be just the start. Until 2006, the Libertarian Party Platform explicitly supported the right of political entities, private groups and even individuals to secede from the federal government. Fearing this seemed too extremist, Libertarians replaced that platform plank with a clause about the right of people to abolish the government anytime it destroys individual liberty — a very narrow and ominous reinterpretation of the Declaration of Independence.

David Harsanyi takes issue with it:

No, I don’t “like” the idea of forcing citizens to join a Washington-run health care program or forcing parents to pay for crappy schools that fail their kids year after year. But I’ve yet to meet a libertarian who opposes restrictions on homicide.

Harsanyi hasn't yet met the libertarian who wants the right to shoot someone because they're on his proppity? He goes on:

Perhaps I don’t get out often enough. I always knew there were many schools of libertarian thought, all of them having something to do with an underlying belief that an individual ought to have the freedom to live his/her life as he/she likes as long he/she respects the individual rights of other hes /shes. Critics always seem to ignore the latter half of the idea. Imaginary anarchy, racism and hedonism ensue.

Hmm. Was the West Wild or was it not?

Anarchy is a funny word as a pejorative, usually meaning "people doing stuff that transgresses the rules I think should be there" and given that Harsanyi is a libertarian who the fuck knows what he means? But given the beloved Paultards and their idiotic positions on the Civil Rights Act I don't think anyone's worried about fantasy racism. And hedonism? No, legalizing methamphetamines, underage sex and prostitution could never lead to anywhere becoming a preferred destination for child rapists.

Do libertarians like Peter Thiel really want to live in America? (Evidently he doesn’t? Right?) I suppose you’d have to ask him. I’m only a mushy small “l” classical liberal type and I like living in America. But if America becomes a place where government has its coercive hands in every aspect of life and business — the kind of America that Kohn envisions – then seasteading is going to look mighty attractive

Oh I'll bet.

Kiddie Books for Commies

I recommend The Very Persistent Gappers of Frip.

The story centers around a young girl named Capable who lives in the three-house town of Frip, overlooking the sea. For longer than anyone can remember, our protagonist, her widowed father and her neighbors (the Ronsons and the Romos) have been besieged by gappers -- strange creatures that look sort of like bright orange baseball-sized burrs with multiple eyes (most hilariously depicted in Smith's illistrations). The gappers, for some inexplicable reason, manifest their love for the goats, whose milk is the town's entire economy, by attaching themselves to the hapless animals and then shreiking with joy, which causes the goats to lose sleep and stop making milk. Before long, one of the smarter gappers realizes that Capable's house is closest to the sea in which they dwell when not bothering goats and convinces the rest of its ilk to concentrate their efforts solely there, thus turning Capable's goats into massive, wailing balls of gappers, while the neighbors' herds are left alone.

The Sisyphean task of brushing away the ceaselessly returning gappers takes up all of Capable's time. Her selfish neighbors react to her pleas for help with the peculiar logic of a trademark Saunders response: "Not that we're saying we're better than you, necessarily, its just that since gappers are bad, and since you and you alone have them, it only stands to reason that you are not, perhaps, quite as good as us. Not that we hate you! We don't. We even sort of like you."

Compare and contrast: gapper vs. Kaus.

Special Treatment

Golly I am a terrible person:

Trial dates have been set for Conrad Black's eldest son, Jonathan, who says he has been singled out for special attention and will plead not guilty to charges of criminal harassment, uttering threats and breaching bail conditions.

It totally could be the case that he is completely innocent and that he is receiving special attention from police because of how totally awesome his horrible space-lizard family is.

Why Canada Rules

Michael Moriarty:

In 1994, when my protests fell lamely through the nets and sifters of the MSM and the Clintons were not only reelected ’96 but Janet Reno retained her post as Attorney General, I knew America was in for the longest spiritual bloodletting of her entire history.

Mankind’s last and greatest hope for continued individual freedom and responsibility, the United States of America, had been co-opted by the most cunning sabotage efforts in world history.

The Soviets and their KBG, ordered initially by Joseph Stalin to primarily infiltrate the “soft underbelly” of the American performing arts, had successfully turned Hollywood and New York into its very own propaganda machine.

The subsequent invasions of Washington D.C. and the White House by the increasingly radical Left became inevitable until we ended up with a President Barack Obama.

Thank God I left for Canada.

I feel so sad for those poor American slaves and their communist guarantees of free health care and education and full employment.



Oh wait, I was really looking for this one, which makes me shed tears for being so ridiculously innocent and happy-sounding.



Oh my god the lyrics:

CA-NA-DA
(One little two little three Canadians)
We love thee
(Now we are twenty million)
CA-NA-DA
(Four little five little six little Provinces)
Proud and free
(Now we are ten and the Territories sea to sea)

(Chorus):
North south east west
There'll be happy times,
Church Bells will ring, ring, ring
It's the hundredth anniversary of
Confederation
Ev'rybody sing together!

(French verse):
CA-NA-DA
(Un petit, deux petits, trois Canadiens)
Notre pays
(Maintenant, nous sommes vingt million)
CA-NA-DA
(Quatre petites, cinq petites, six petites provinces)
Longue vie
(Et nous sommes dix plus les Territoires; Longue vie)

(Second Chorus):
Rah! Vive le Canada!
Three cheers Hip, Hip, Hooray!
Le centenaire,
That's the order of the day
Frère Jacques Frère Jacques
Merilly we roll along
Together all the way

(Repeat second chorus)

Isn't that echo of one-little-two-little-three-little Indians sweet and totally non-racist?

We're Number Three!

Shame:

The Australian city of Melbourne has beaten Canada's Vancouver to the title of world's most liveable city for the first time in almost a decade.

Vancouver has topped the annual Global Liveability Survey since 2002, but this year fell to third behind Vienna.

Overall, Australian and Canadian cities did well, capturing seven of the top ten spots.

Harare, Port Moresby and Dhaka occupied the bottom of the table.

The cities were assessed in five categories - stability, healthcare, culture and environment, education and infrastructure.

Vancouver missed out on the top spot because its infrastructure score had fallen due to periodic closures of a key motorway.

Periodic not-having-a-summer may also play a role, but yes, we shoulda just not repaired that road.

IT-GETS-BETTER UPDATE

The crack team of the Economist's Intelligence Unit at work:

The change in score is, in part, “reflecting recent intermittent closures of the key Malahat Highway,” the magazine said.

The thing is, the Malahat is on Vancouver Island. To get there, someone from Vancouver would need to spend 90 minutes on a ferry and at least that much time driving and waiting in a car.

I blame Vancouver's lowered rating on Seattle's proximity.

A Scam

Old news from Florida:

In their effort to force Rubin to testify, Ohio investigators included in the Hernando lawsuit copies of the receipts that accompanied the e-mail. Among the items the [scam charity] Navy Veterans said it bought to send to troops overseas: frozen burritos and Lean Cuisine dinners, two window air-conditioning units, Alpo chicken and rice cat food, Natural Ice beer, raw chicken quarters, 10 boxes of "Just for Men" hair dye and six tubes of Pinaud's mustache wax.

Though most of the receipts were from Tampa — including a $1 hot fudge sundae from McDonald's in Ybor — the papers attached to Rubin's e-mail purported to reflect some purchases in Connecticut. Five packages of rat poison were from a WalMart in "Waterberry," while other illegible receipts were from WalMart in "New Havin." Ohio investigators said it was unlikely Connecticut residents would misspell the cities' names.

Navy Veterans also donated a lot of money to politicians.

Melting Pot Hegemony

Mark Steyn:

My previous book was famously “alarmist” (and so no doubt is my new one), but, if you’re disinclined to meet me halfway in my demographic analysis, try the United Kingdom’s Office of National Statistics:

He then quotes not the UK's Office of National Statistics but a nitwit named Damian Thompson writing for the Torygraph whose reading of the ONS statistics must have resulted in many filled diapers. Steyn ends:

For my own part, I’d bet that many parts of mid-century Britain will be a violent, brutish, Balkanized ruin. Let’s meet for lunch circa 2035 and see who’s right.

Now, the funny part is that Steyn excerpted a bunch of the panic from Thompson's column, but not the salient comparison:

The colour of people’s skins isn’t the problem, of course. The danger lies in a clash of ethnic and religious cultures against a background of broken families. London is already well on the way to turning into a US city, with sprawling black ghettos and a semi-invisible network of foreign white gangs: organised crime from Eastern Europe, one of the most powerful forces in the world today, has only just begun to flex its muscles in Britain.

Surely nobody in their right mind would want their city to be a US city, where meeting for lunch even now is impossible.

Doo Doo Doo

The Lovely Daughter: What's a bee's favourite rapper?
Me: I dunno.
LD: Buzz Markie.

A Message from Ron Paul

Here is an email to me, a fellow conservative, outlining Ron Paul's plan to destroy everything. It's nice that he wants to destroy the occasional bad thing, like kooky war efforts, but if you're gonna destroy everything I guess you get to destroy some of those along with, you know, everything else in the world. I'd take out all the links but it isn't worth the editing, and really, this is just note-taking on my part so I remember the bullshit as it plays out across the glorious internet. My apologies.

Who will you pick?

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Right now, you have a choice to make. Who will you pick to take on Barack Obama and end the liberal, tax-and-spend stranglehold on Washington?

You can choose a Republican who fought for state-run health care while Governor, but now laughingly claims to want to repeal ObamaCare.

You can choose a candidate who cosponsored a bill to forcibly unionize government workers nationwide by federal mandate - but now wants to claim the mantle of "Tea Party" champion.

You can choose a Governor who has been on record in favor of taxpayer subsidies for illegal immigrants and has doubled his state's debt.

Or you can choose the one candidate in the race who can honestly say that he is a lifelong, true, pro-life, pro-gun, constitutional conservative.

They say people can tell the real deal when they hear it. I sure hope so, because that's what I am.

If you agree with my vision for America's future when you finish this note, I hope you'll support me at this crucial time in the race. Our campaign is surging. We are in the top 3 nationwide, and we cruised to a very strong 2nd place finish in the Iowa Straw Poll.



The establishment is doing its best to make sure you don't hear about my record and views, so I want to take a moment to tell you what I stand for. And I want to do it in a personal letter to you, rather than in a slick 30-second ad, or a minute on TV in a "debate."

You see, I firmly believe that the more you know about me, the more you'll realize there really is only one true constitutional conservative candidate for President this year.

I believe that the federal government should not be doing ANYTHING that is not specifically authorized by and enumerated in the Constitution.

You might hear some other folks say something that sounds like that. But look at the record.

I am the only candidate in the race who can say that they have NEVER voted for an unbalanced budget. Ever. And I will never sign one as President.

I have never voted to raise the debt ceiling. And I won't sign a debt ceiling increase as President.

There's a lot to learn about candidates on the issues. As President, my priorities would be:

*** Balancing the federal budget and ending deficit spending. I've earned the nickname "Dr. No" as a U.S. Congressman for voting AGAINST wasteful federal spending. I plan on earning the nickname "President No" for continuing that tradition!

*** Protecting the lives of the unborn. As a pro-life OB-GYN, I delivered over 4,000 babies. And I've always believed that life begins at conception. It is the duty of government to protect life, and I will vote to end abortion and stop all federal funding to Planned Parenthood.

*** Protecting the 2nd Amendment. I've been endorsed in my campaigns by the Gun Owners of America, and I believe there can be NO compromise on gun rights.

*** Securing our Borders. You can't have open borders and a welfare state. I'll fight against any amnesty and National ID schemes, and I'll champion real solutions that protect our nation and uphold the rule of law.

*** Protecting our national security AND our sovereignty. I will stop using our brave soldiers as the world's policemen, and I will end nation-building overseas so we can focus on rebuilding our own nation. I'll pull us OUT of the United Nations, the World Trade Organization, and other international, sovereignty-destroying organizations that work against our nation's interests.

That's just the beginning. But it's a good beginning. And the best part - you will always know where President Ron Paul stands. It will be with the American people and the Constitution.

Governor Rick Perry of my home state of Texas, on the other hand, has expanded the size and scope of government in ways that would make Washington, D.C. proud. He has doubled Texas' debt. We now have more debt per capita than California!

I suppose these days that would be in style back in Washington. But I think we are all FINALLY ready for real change - not more of the same!

Other candidates have little or no record. That's fine. I don't think it's a requirement for office that you have to accumulate years of fighting and leading.

But it certainly helps.

You see, the best way to figure out what a candidate will do in office isn't to listen to what they say during a campaign. The best way is to look at their record. Look at what they've done. Look at who has been a leader on issues of importance across the board to conservatives.

I believe that if you look at who has led the way on budgets, in defense of the unborn, and for gun rights, as well as who has fought the longest and hardest against the political establishment of BOTH parties - well, I hope you'll see that the only answer is Ron Paul.



If you need more information, please visit my website at www.RonPaul2012.com.

If you agree with me that we must take action now to restore America, please consider giving me not only your vote, but your financial support as well.

The establishment has its DC lobbyists and corporate fat cats. For me to succeed, I must raise funds from millions of grassroots Americans just like you.

Perhaps you can give $500, $250, or $100. Perhaps $25 is as much as you can send right now. Every dollar is appreciated and will be used to advance my fight for liberty!

So please, check the real records of each of the candidates. Decide for yourself which one has always stood for smaller government, personal liberty, and the right to life.

Take the time to talk to your friends, family, and relatives. Take a look at what the other candidates are telling you - and what they're trying NOT to tell you.

I hope and pray you'll choose to support my campaign for President.

It's time to take our country back. Please join with me today.

For Liberty,
Ron Paul

P.S. If you'd like to support my campaign, please complete the pledge and chip in a generous contribution. I'd appreciate your support.

But most important, I ask you to take a look at the issues that matter to you. Then take a look at the real record of each of the candidates who are asking for your vote. Don't let the media tell you how to vote. Vote for the person who best represents constitutional conservative principles and real values.

I believe you'll find that candidate to be me, and I hope I will have your vote for the Republican nomination for President.

Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades

Prophecy:



Fulfillment:

History's Greatest MacGuffin

What makes a great film?

You’ll never hear me make any apologies for my unqualified love of this film. It’s just a fact (admit it) that when you’re in the right mood and have three-hours to kill, Brian DePalma’s completely over-the-top gangster pic feels like the greatest movie ever made. Among my perversely large DVD collection (yes, I have a problem), “Scarface” ranks in the Top 10 Most Re-watchable.

For me, the movie takes off during the chainsaw scene; when a handcuffed Tony Montana (Al Pacino) is splattered with gore as his partner is cut to pieces. He refuses to talk, even when faced with the most gruesome death imaginable. The look of defiance and fear on the actor’s face is unforgettable. Furthermore, DePalma’s crafting of the scene is masterful. The director is famous for exploitation and yet he chooses not to show the chainsaw doing its dirty work. You only hear it, which allows your mind’s eye to vividly picture what’s far worse than anything any special effect could cheat.

Best of all, everything that happens is Jimmy Carter’s fault. He’s the idiot who got duped by Castro and let Tony Montana into Miami.

Yes of course that is John Nolte.

Signs of New York

Congress

Totally-not-gay Eugene Delgaudio in an email to yours truly:

Yes, it's true, homosexual activists are riding high.

Homosexual "marriage" passed in New York; judges in Iowa threw out two hundred years of law and declared for homosexual marriage by fiat; a judge in California denies the vote of the people and declares homosexual marriage a "right"; and every day the drumbeat from the media and Hollywood culture is how good and normal homosexual sex is ... and how you and I are bigoted fools blinded by a false religion.

Now homosexual activists bang through the halls of Congress chortling with glee.

Dear Penthouse Forum:

I never thought having sex in the halls of Congress would happen to me and it won't as long as I am here in this closet. Please send more stories about first-time cocksucking.

(Apparently you can find the whole thing here. Myself, I am not clicking.)

My Glamorous Life of Travel

I am now in lovely Toronto, home to a hockey team with a legacy of having a legacy.

Time spent here has involved helping organize an apartment and a visit to the AGO (where locals I don't have free time to get drunk with should RUN RUN RUN to catch the General Idea exhibit). Also there is ice cream. Beats the vegemite.



And gee... Palin's supporters say Palin will run. There might be something to learn about fools and money there but I gotta go get that one Pokémon outta that vending machine and it's just not dropping so I keep feeding the coins in and WHY WON'T IT COME OUT? Back later.

FOOT FETISH UPDATE!

I don't think this is quite the same piece as the one I saw at the AGO, but here is Ann Klein with a Baby in Transit by Willie Cole.

I Liked It

Disappointingly there was no mention of the JanusNode.

But the movie with the apes was good. What was that called?

Murderers

Crime in the big city my friends. THIS is why you want to live in a little town full of bible-thumpers panty-sniffers and sheep-fuckers.

Entertainment

Bullshit?

"I have three women as sources who had sex with Rick Perry or have escort friends who have," he says. "The first one is a stripper who tried to give him a blow job one time 'but he was too coked up' (her words) to complete it. None of these are willing to come forward, hence the ad is an appeal for strippers, hookers, young hotties and gay men to QUIT covering for Rick Perry. I got a call from an incensed homosexual on Monday who told me his ex's ex had sex with (a gay fling) Rick Perry many years ago. I sent him to a reporter who is working the gay angle. The gay rumors on Perry have been rampant for years. I never believed the because I knew about the women. I believe them now. Rick Perry has been a RAMPANT bisexual adulterer. It is just a matter of getting folks to go on the record."

It is irresponsible not to speculate. Has anyone checked the diving shops for wetsuit purchases?

If You Build It, They Will Come to the Conclusion that Beach Volleyball Sucks

I find when I am playing beach volleyball with the gang from Riverdale that running into a fucking light-post is the highlight of the day.

Yes yes, travel photos are dull. Yet I travel and take photos.

Note to Smut

Nobody wants their dinner party described as "tentacular".