BEHOLD!

I Endorse Nilla

Thank you Tony.

Tony said,
July 17, 2008 at 6:36 (kill)

a word meaning ‘white people’ that only white people are allowed to say

I’m pretty partial to “nilla” as in Nilla Wafers. It’s also a nice drop-in replacement for the N-word in many rap songs. Imagine the awesome cover art opportunities for “Nillaz With Attitude” albums.

Mean for the Sake of It

Sacrificed Prancer and freshly-skinned Vixen,
Harpoon-impaled Donner and guillotined Blitzen,
Suffering Rudolph all tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

How Many More Lives?

Made for Each Other

Werner Todd Huston and Jonah Goldberg:



Top job is better because I unaccountably took more time, yet that is indeed Jonah's actual creepy hand.

A Horrible End

The Apostle Paul admonishes us to 'quit mixing in company .. not even eating with such an unclean [one].' -1 Cor. 5:9-11; Mark 2:13-17. Although Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this inspired Biblical principle cannot be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness in any form is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt to the right-thinking worshiper of Jehovah that loyal Christians must avoid all association with all sources of uncleanness. This would logically include animals that either harbor these tendencies or indulge in such practices. Moreover it is a well-known fact that a common practice of pagan males was to have cats bat at their erect penises for luck and not incidental pleasure, a practice which continued at least through the reign of Domitian. In some areas the practice was supplanted by individuals dressed in cat costumes - mockingly called Furrisees by the disapproving - who would collect a fee for the service. As in observant societies throughout the world, the high and the low alike attend the same rituals, and the libertine practitioners of cat drag saw fit to enter and offer money in the local houses of worship, including, to his displeasure, many of those Paul himself held forth at in his travels through the nascent realms of Christianity. Thus it is that we speak of groping peter to pay Paul.*







*My apologies. The phrase "groping peter to pay Paul" occurred to me and I had to let it out. It seemed to require some ridiculous build-up I wasn't actually willing to write, so I stole the first part here after using this clever search and then the rest seemed obvious. Yes I will take my pills now.

Getting in Trouble

Some dude gives a speech, including this bit:

Finally, we need to integrate service into education, so that young Americans are called upon and prepared to be active citizens.

Just as we teach math and writing, arts and athletics, we need to teach young Americans to take citizenship seriously. Study after study shows that students who serve do better in school, are more likely to go to college, and more likely to maintain that service as adults. So when I’m President, I will set a goal for all American middle and high school students to perform 50 hours of service a year, and for all college students to perform 100 hours of service a year. This means that by the time you graduate college, you’ll have done 17 weeks of service.

We’ll reach this goal in several ways. At the middle and high school level, we’ll make federal assistance conditional on school districts developing service programs, and give schools resources to offer new service opportunities. At the community level, we’ll develop public-private partnerships so students can serve more outside the classroom.

For college students, I have proposed an annual American Opportunity Tax Credit of $4,000. To receive this credit, we’ll require 100 hours of public service. You invest in America, and America invests in you – that’s how we’re going to make sure that college is affordable for every single American, while preparing our nation to compete in the 21st century.

For our veterans, I was proud to be a strong and early supporter of Jim Webb’s bipartisan GI Bill, so that today’s vets have the same opportunity that my grandfather had under the GI Bill. To marshal their talents in building a new energy economy, I will launch an initiative to give our veterans the training they need to succeed in the Green Jobs of the future. It’s time to end our energy dependence at home so our national security isn’t held hostage to oil and gas from abroad.
And we will not leave out the nearly 2 million young Americans who are out of school and out of work. We’ll enlist them in our Energy Corps, so that disadvantaged young people can find useful work, clean polluted areas, help weatherize homes, and gain skills in a growing industry. And we’ll expand the YouthBuild Program, which puts young Americans to work building affordable housing in America’s poorest communities, giving them valuable skills and a chance to complete a high school education. Because no one should be left out of the American story.

Another dude comes up with this idea about it:

No, national service isn't slavery. But it contributes to a slave mentality, at odds with American tradition.

Y'know, if I was dude #2 saying this about dude #1 at work and dude #1 happened to be black I'd expect that my boss would give me a loud fucking earful, or maybe I wouldn't expect it because I'd be that fucking idiot Jonah Goldberg.

Libertarians Unite to Imprison Wrongthinkers!

A kooky English libertarian writes:

Look carefully upon the sad lesson of Britain. Don’t do what we (failed to) do, by not arresting all the Gramsco-Marxian Fabiano-pre-capitalist-barbarian people-wreckers, while we had the chance, when there were about five of them.

Then follows one of those Authoritative E-mail forwards, so clicking on the link is pretty much irrelevant.

Note also that having Ronald Reagan in the masthead is somewhat incompatible with libertarianism. With any luck the "L" word will become so corrupted, as with conservatism in America, that it will mean only that the bearer's tongue will remain in the anus of a particular person for a set duration.

Own Goals

A minor link round-up of nerve-gas tests (proposed and completed) by the good guys on the good guys.

Proof!

More fun to be had here although I had to screenshot this one as drag and drop produces a generic image.

Sad Headline of the Day

Diploma mills are bad and all, but please. If anything's a terrorist threat it's pregnant teenagers. I suppose I should link to the piece from the Newspaper of Record but them's the breaks.

Sproing!

Read the fine print. It's always meaningful.

They don't call him Wildmon for nothing.

Jonah Wept

This will be the best thing ever when I get around to contributing to it.

The Question

"The Question" apparently has nothing to do with who called Cindy McCain a cunt.

Firefox 3 is Go

Thus far a bunch of extensions aren't working, but the hassle of that, using the developer version of Tab Mix Plus, and installing Adblock Plus instead of Adblock is more than made up for by the performance boost for my Mac. PC users with lotsa extensions might want to wait - I didn't really need the upgrade at work and lost a little functionality out of it - but generally I am very pleased.

I Am Aware of All Internet Traditions

This was provided by Michael relating to this hilarious LGM thread:



It's the new meme.

Mythic Means Big

The Blink Tag

I have never seen, I think,
A tag as lovely as a blink.

A tag whose “open” sits right next
To sweetly fulminating text;

A tag that blinks out “God” all day,
Should we desire to virtually pray;

A tag that may in summer swear
“IT’S TOO HOT TO FUCKING CARE”;

Upon whose closure sweet relief
For snobby coders with a beef.

Lou Montulli made the blink,
But only you can make it stink.

Good Luck Iowa City

I spent a while there feeding fish popcorn in between drinking beer and not going to classes. Once in a while the park I walked by on the way to school would vanish under water. It's worse now.

Viagra Professional?

Go Detroit!

John McCain, ABBA Fan

Via MAJeff here, John McCain is an ABBA fan.

I recommend Knowing Me, Knowing You.

It Is a Great Thing

It is a great thing that the presidency is within the reach of women who don't hire Mark Penn.

If I Ever Figure Out How to Autopost...

...this'll pop up weekly. Wow. Fox has its work cut out for it with this old bastard.

The Semicolon

Hail to thee oh semicolon,
Crutch of pedant masked as Solon,
Aid to bold Non Sequitur;
The weather’s nice today.

I Don't Get It

The Technische Universität Berlin has an ongoing tradition of mangled English, but what happened here?

Hutsuls

I never made it to the Carpathians but did make it to Kolomyia where there was a pretty nice collection of Hutsul relics, though most were relatively new as museumy things go: the Hutsuls use a lotta wood so things must be perishable. As with a number of Ukrainian museums people follow you around from room to room turning the lights on or off according to how strained their budget is.

Desk set including stamp. Very important as the Ukraine is filled with fucking notaries.

This guy has been nailed again and again for causing problems. Enough already! Chill, long-haired dude!

There was a small but quite nice section of modern painters who seemed to be very much the type that the Russians would have sent to Siberia.

Grover Jesus.

A nutcracker, poorly photographed.

To demonstrate her affinity with the peasant Hutsuls singer Ruslana drives around in a Hummer, taps at her laptop, and has helicopters film her posing on a mountain.

Update: My monitor at home appears to be quite bright. Gotta fix that and maybe my posted photos will wind up less murky.

Kamianets-Podilskyi

This was a nice place to visit. Nerds with military fantasies will find a dream fulfilled: the old town has a river around it and its only connection overland is via a huge bridge to a big fortress on a cliff.



Every picturesque castle needs an electrical station under it.



Every castle requires hobbits to protect.

Death

The cemetary in Lviv is a fascinating place for miserable ghouls such as myself.

True Conservatives

Once upon a time I wrote this:

"Given that conservatism in America for the last while largely consisted of slavish devotion to George W. Bush it’s easy to mistake the odd principled conservative such as yourself for a nitwit or reprobate."

Heh.

Anyway, anonymous - who should get a stupid name like me - was moved to write:

Bubba

I wanted to write you an email but I couldn't find an address so I took the opportunity to write to you here.

My "about me" section has been adjusted accordingly.

Slavish devotion? You must not have been paying attention because conservatives most definitely did not have a slavish devotion to Bush. We loudly opposed him on his drunken sailor manner of spending, Harriet Miers, his open borders agenda, the prescription drug benefit, allowing Ted Kennedy to write the education bill, his insistence that Islam is a "religion of peace", his weak response when he was blamed for Louisiana's dismal failure to act as first responders as dictated by law after Katrina and his refusal to pardon the border agents who were imprisoned after shooting an illegal alien drug dealer.

There are other examples I could give you that would show you that conservatives do not have a "slavish" devotion to President Bush. Perhaps you meant republicans and that may be true, but the fact of the matter is President Bush is NOT a conservative and he hasn't tried to convince anyone that he is.

That last clause is patently false. See the book Karen Hughes wrote for him.

Regarding the other stuff:

Harriet Miers

Here I believe the opposition was "everybody who wasn't Bush or Miers".

his insistence that Islam is a "religion of peace"

The guy has been a diplomatic bull in a China shop; give him credit for not causing anti-American riots around the world.

Other stuff I don't want to get into mainly because people who call themselves conservatives - as you have - continue to rally around the demented moron. If the task is separating the Scotsmen from the true Scotsmen, the conservatives who have power and get stuff done seem to me to be the conservatives to think about rather than the conservatives who have no power at all and no elected representatives willing to restrain their non-conservative fellow Republicans. That latter category must include you, and I am sorry to jiggle the knife in your back, but hey, there are kids who call themselves hippies these days and actual hippies from back in the day get snotty about that too.

Thank you for your time and the opportunity to respond even if this isn't exactly the best forum for my response.

No problem.

Update: Take note! Writing long things requires either perfection or editing, neither of which is attractive to me.

Good Band Name, Logo Included

The Rainbow of Pride

Apologies for the somewhat crappy photo.

Candy

The Baton's good: chocolate on the outside and inside tastes alcoholic with berry bits and fudge. Still somewhat grainy as compared to the highbrow chocolate here. It's made by a candy company called Roshen which is well thought of. Roshen builds kiddie playgrounds in a lot of parks in the Ukraine, which at initial glance made me kind of queasy with the sponsorship angle and so forth, but Ukrainian infrastructure is so crappy that I have to say Go Forth and Sponsor.

As for the Smak, it's fun to say, fun to offer to children, but less fun to eat. Ever have a box of grandma's Bridge Mix and something that feels initially like a chocolate peanut seems to not really contain a peanut but instead has a sugary dusty mass that almost tastes peanutty? They're kind of like that.

Microsoft Word Sucks

Woe is me! Word cannot exit! And there is a tiny committee of individuals in my machine who regret this! But I can exit by doing some other thing!



Force it! Force that thing to taste humiliation!

Consolidated Ukrainian Drinking Post

Kathleen said...

my friend went to a Ukraine restaurant in LA and the waiter served him "the national drink of Ukraine". it was a tumbler of warm vodka with a pickle floating in it.

Well then. I did not encounter the pickle. That was a very satisfying sentence to write.

All serious drinking I encountered, though, involved vodka and vodka only. Everything else was for ladies or the otherwise effeminate (me).

Below is the new bar at the hotel on the town square in Chortkiv. Note the variety of samey bottles to the left. That was the shit. Although it's ominous that some is flavoured, the straight stuff is scarily drinkable in a way that I have never encountered before. There's probably better somewhere, but the owner of the place seemed like the kind of thug who knew the deal.



Below is the dreaded Balzam, uh, Prikarpatskiya? Someone sensible may correct me if they know Cyrillic or what this poison is. It's a mix of a bunch of different plants, pours like oil, tastes like meticulously cursed petroleum and raisin. Not intolerable, as I drink for largely functional purposes, but I was explicitly warned not to get drunk using it. Found in the vicinity of Ivano-Frankivsk and nowhere else, or so I'm told.



Below is kvas, a sort of wheat soda pop. Somehow also raisiny, it's odd and sweet. Whatever actual homemade kvas is I did not find out. This bottle's fulla all sorts of chemicals like our own fizzier items.



As well as the food we have more kvas and Yoppi, a cherry cola. Yum. Someone was trying to say it was not cola and some kinda unique delicacy but cola is written on the bottle...possibly as some sort of totemic word vaulting Yoppi into the pantheon of glorious colas worldwide.



Below, and not tasted, are hidden treasures put away for future occasions by the hosts of the fine feast above.



Crazy juice. Disgustingly sweet and not quite as crazy as hoped.



10:30am, time to drink at the highest point in Lviv. The sharp-eyed may be able to discern that the morning vodka is the brand mentioned above. The locals don't seem especially happy about their choice, but they're Ukrainian and so must be cut some slack.



Hike's bad, like every Ukrainian beer I tried...maybe I'm being unfair because I'm not actually positive where Hike's from. Beer mix is apparently not as bad as the beer alone.



From a prior post, these are shit. The two on the outside brag that they are made with or by Nemiroff vodka but alas that has no sugar-cancelling properties.



I consumed various other things. Alas, I cannot remember them.

Swings

They make 'em different there. I think I'd prefer the chain or rope ones for use, but they're lovely.

Ukrainian Girlie Drinks

I heartily recommend the consumption of none of these, as they are all sickly-sweet and gross.

Oregon Republican Has Fake Degree

Tony Marino is a fraud.

One Word About Me

I had no idea what Snag was talking about but this here internet has its ways.

Yourself: Overrated
Your Partner: Underrepresented
Your Hair: Struggling
Your Mother: Courageous
Your Father: Admirable
Your Favorite Item: Computers
Your Dream Last Night: Meaninglessful
Your Favorite Drink: Milk
Your Dream Home: Bathysphere
The Room You Are In: Living
Your Fear: Palpable
Where Do You Want to be in 10 years: 1980
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Max
What You Are Not: Omnipotent
Muffins: Ahoy!
One of Your Wish Items: Wish
Time: Underutilized
Last Thing You Did: Typed
What You Are Wearing: Clothing
Your Favorite Weather: Foggy
Your Favorite Book: Undecided
Last Thing You Ate: Noodles
Your Mood: Dazed
Your Best Friends: Ideal
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Cartoons
Your Car: Dying
Your Summer: Solvent
What’s on your TV: Commercials
What Is Your Weather Like: Sunny
When Was the Last Time You Laughed: Today
What is your relationship status: Solo

Academic TERROR!

Old news, but I was on the plane recently and suffering for reading material and found this sentence by Joe Klein:

A certain familiarity with life as it is lived by normal Americans is useful; a distance from the élite precincts of academia, where unrepentant terrorists can sip wine in good company, is essential.

Clearly this Joe Klein fellow is something of a fuckbum.

Academic Scandal

How can a university president not resign in the wake of the manufacture of a degree for a pal?

Hail to thee, West Virginia University.

Engrish

Back

My Ukrainian adventure is over. Enjoy some Fuckbum.

Microsoft Word Sucks

Okay, yes, let's make sure background printing is on...



On we go to print, and maybe we should print again, what the heck...but WAIT!!!



This program has been in development for twenty-five years and background printing still intrudes into the foreground. Learn to queue a fucking print job already: it's not like I'm printing a novel here.

Smart People

...will go read Roy and ignore me for a bit because I'm off to the Ukraine so I can be sick where nobody understands me and I'll be forced to eat beets.

Thank You Google News

Ass-Kicking Lawyers

Police say the clashes between rival groups of lawyers soon became full scale riots, with offices and cars set alight in parts of the southern city.

Violence initially broke out when supporters of President Musharraf held a protest against Tuesday's assault on a former cabinet minister by attorneys.

Fuck that shit up!

Sick

I am sick. I tried to watch a Looney Tunes DVD but laughing hurts. I tried to wash my bedclothes and the machine became unbalanced and caught fire. Seriously.

On the good side I have discovered the proper way to rest the arch of my foot on the spout and gently tweak the amount of hot water with the first knuckle of my middle toe.