Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Why We Fright

Neal Boortz:
You’re snug in your cabin in the mountains outside of Big Bear, California. Snug, but fearful. They’re searching for a killer near you. A terrifying, heavily armed former cop from Los Angeles who has gone on a killing rampage.

Suddenly you hear gunshots. You part the curtains to look outside ... and there’s the man whose picture you’ve seen countless times on TV over the past few days running toward your house as he returns fire to police officers in pursuit.

Just a few weeks ago you had been considering buying an AR-15 just in case it might be needed to defend your home from predators of the two and the four-legged variety. They don’t call the place Big Bear for nothing. You couldn’t buy one, though, because private ownership of these weapons had been outlawed. That didn’t stop the killer. He was carrying one ... that along with several pistols. The law didn’t seem to deter him at all. The murderer was still far enough away that you could stop him with one shot through your window, but that option had been taken away by anti-gun zealots.

Somehow you don’t feel comfortable with only your handgun and it’s seven-shot magazine to protect you from this approaching danger. You know the killer, who is rapidly nearing your door, is much more heavily armed than you. Things aren’t looking all that rosy for you and your family right now.

Why did this have to happen? Why were these liberals -- these Democrats -- so hell-bent on reducing your capacity to act in your own self-defense in a situation just such as this?

Interesting question, isn’t it?

Other places where I have once been snug and then cowered in fear as an insane cop stalked me while I only had seven bullets and my trusty handgun between me and certain death:

  • My old Kentucky home
  • My Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua, Hawaii
  • My bunker
  • My duck-blind down by the lake
  • My treehouse where the girls aren't allowed
  • My orbital death platform
  • My fort that I made out of the kitchen table and a bunch of chairs and a whole lot of sheets


mikey said...

Indeed. None of those things happened. What actually happened is that the cops decided to burn their cabin and its ensconced suspect to death without having to muster the courage to fight him or try to do their job and take him into custody. The lesson is somewhat more obvious than this idiot would like to argue.

But frankly, I'll sit in my house with my .357 Magnum revolver and feel perfectly well armed against intruders. I don't care if they have a rifle, or a grenade launcher - my goal is to avoid contact. And if it comes to it, my ol' shootin' iron will get the job done quite acceptably....

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Burning your enemies in the house they holed up in is a time-honored tradition.

Smut Clyde said...

Well, BBBB, the burning at Bergþórshváll would never have happened if Skarp-Heðinn had been properly armed with an assault axe.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

It is amazing how detailed these masturbatory fantasies of killing somebody are.

Sadly, No had one from another wingnut recently, and I swear you could just about hear the wingnut splooging.

The sexual thrill these people get from the imagined feelings of lethal power is just twisted.

J— said...

My fort that I made out of the kitchen table and a bunch of chairs and a whole lot of sheets

Be prepared for war with Pillowtown.

ckc (not kc) said...

Why did this have to happen?
1. You made a stupid choice of a place to live - "They don’t call the place Big Bear for nothing."
2. You're not as smart as your bogeyman - "That didn’t stop the killer. He was carrying one ..."
3. You can't count - " could stop him with one shot through your window ... you don’t feel comfortable with only your handgun and it’s seven-shot magazine"

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You only need ONE SHEET, silly canuckistanian!!!

Hamish Mack said...

No no, just imagine if these really bad things had happened. That'd be really bad. And then more really bad things might happen, even worse than before!!
Grifters gotta grift.

Smut Clyde said...

Is your assault rifle going to help you with a ticking time-bomb? I THINK NOT.

Smut Clyde said...

it’s seven-shot magazine


Brando said...

I made the mistake of reading the comments at TownHall. Aiiiieeee!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I do like the thought of Neal peaking out from behind the curtains; the real dumbo Rambo lurching up the driveway. when the smoke clears I hope the dude he shot wasn't just delivering his bodybuilding catalogs