Sunday, January 2, 2011


Dave Noon found a funny person:
Cage fighter Alex Reid took things much further with his tips for health this year. Giving his fans advice on how to prepare for a match, he told the Sun: "It's actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn't ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh."
If you want to call bullshit on this please explain the roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions who catch and milk me in the front yard every morning.


mikey said...

Jeez. Think how powerful he'd be if he didn't poop either!

Smut Clyde said...

Googling for "taoism semen" brought me to the Whackyweedia page on Taoist semen retention, but also to a number of websites I could have done without.

Smut Clyde said...

please explain the roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions
I accuse you of making them up as an excuse to consume more steak, eggs, lemons and oranges.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

You want Science! Here you go:
Semen...calories...your mom...fat.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


Humbug, he supposed.

vacuumslayer said...

I am NOT into fad diets.

Substance McGravitas said...

Keeps semen from the Russian queen

mikey said...

I held it in, I wouldn't let
It go, that's something you can bet
It's all my goo, when it comes out
It causes me to scream and shout

The neighbors wonder what is up
While I have to find an empty cup
'Cause I save it all, it's mine you know
You can't impose some kind of crazy Jizz Crowe

It's mine, and it's power is hard to doubt
But you just spew, you're not devout
It contributes to my better luck, it's
Important to remember I has a buckit

M. Bouffant said...

Oh great, just at lunchtime too.

I'll stick w/ a bit of sports wisdom imparted to me many yrs. ago:"No drilling before the game."

WV: momisms.

No, guess it was "mornisms." Still on topic.

Now it's thystl. OT.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Cage fighter's semen
Say the bells of St Leman.

Substance McGravitas said...

500 seamen stranded

Big deal. I strand millions of those alla time.

fish said...

Either you are conflating sperm and seamen, or I am really, really impressed.

Substance McGravitas said...

I can do it quick too!

fish said...

That would be a necessity.

Substance McGravitas said...

Yessir, right up the canal.

Smut Clyde said...

There was a Norwegian called Lars
Who saved up his semen in jars.
On days he felt frisky
he'd mix it with whisky
And serve it to women in bars.

Substance McGravitas said...

That same odd Norwegian named Lars
Is covered with numerous scars
From the claws and the teeth
That the protein bequeaths
To those that drink that which makes RAAAAAHHRs.

Hamish Mack said...

Er, Mr. McG those "roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions" are actually City Rubbish Cleaners and they'd like you to leave them alone, please. Thanks