Slug Season

Brad Reed

Gone to Crooks and Liars. Hope all goes well.

In not-Brad-Reed AlterNet news, I got an email from Brian Hill. No no, not the former coach of my much-lamented Vancouver Grizzlies, but Brian Hill, debunker of lies about whether or not people are right-wing maniacs. Thrill to a man who will read out thing he finds on the internet! Unless the items are too long, and then he will explain that the item is too long to be read. Orly Taitz has put episode 2 up, but her site may still be infectious, so we'll leave out the link.



Sadly, debunking spree episode 2 is missing visuals for the intro. I encourage you to click episode 3:



And more from my inbox, because we are wholly focus-free:

What do you see? Cindy and Meghan McCain. Mother and daughter. Stalwarts of the Republican Party. Wife and daughter of Senator and past Republican presidential nominee, John McCain. Duct tape? Elephant?

INTEREST AND NEWSLETTER!!!

But wait, it's Eugene Delgaudio, an outworthy name if I ever heard one, harping on about the dreaded homosexual again. Two wars, a poisoned sea, climate change and an economic collapse and Eugene's worried about the homosexual who won't stop sucking his cock.

That's Eugene there on the right.



Via Steve Clemons:

[Dear Penthouse Forum:]

One stormy night I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I'd heard something was up and wanted to see for myself.

As I rounded the final turn my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses.

Trembling with worry I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined.

Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling.

My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press.

Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, "Delgaudio what are you doing here?" Dozens of men began moving toward me. I'd been recognized.

As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, "This time Delgaudio we can't lose."

I realized then that I had left my keys in the car and the doors were locked. Slowly the burly men approached, and I held my ground, noticing that the dark-haired man taking the lead wore no shirt with his overalls, and one strap was hanging down along a well-muscled right arm.

Et cetera.

An Offer

egrep 'breitbart|asshole|idiot|moron' journalist.txt

And who knew liberal journalists loved goatse so much?

Care and Detail

From the mind of Jonah Goldberg, an analogy:

One could argue that the chief flaw of, say, Stalin was his us-vs.-them worldview while at the same rightly arguing that we should have an us-vs.-them attitude toward Stalin and Stalinists.

Ladies and gentlemen, he gets paid for that.

This small snip is from a longer piece in which he complains about Matthew Continetti complaining about some tea party bullshit. It may contain some more comedy, but the deadline looms on that granny centipede.

Greatest Non-Animated GIF Trailer Ever

Other best trailer here.

RUSH

Important!

Canadian rock legends Rush received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday (June 25) in front of the Musicians Institute on Hollywood Boulevard.

The correct YouTube numbers are now 410 x 334.

Health Care Debate

For those who can tolerate such things, here's a link to an mp3 of a debate:

The Munk Debate: Health Care

"Be it resolved, I would rather get sick in the U.S. than in Canada." Arguing for the benefits of the Canadian healthcare system are former presidential candidate Howard Dean, and Dr. Robert Bell, President and CEO of the University Health Network. Speaking in favour of the U.S. system is Dr. William Frist, former U.S. Senate Majority Leader and nationally recognized surgeon, and Dr. David Gratzer author of the Donner Prize award-winning book, Code Blue:Reviving Canada's Health Care System.

God Did Not Want the Pope to Know

Taking My Own Advice Stinks

It's hard. WAAAAHHH!

God damn it, ANIMATE, Beck, you worthless shithead!

Ah. Google problem and fuckin' Picasa PICKS MY ASS.

Just a Test

The Wrong Tree

'Cause when I want some lovin',
And I gotta have some lovin',
He says, "Please! Stop it, please!"
He's so unusual!

When I want some kissin',
And I gotta have some kissin',
He says, "No! Let me go."
He's so unusual!

Journalism Inflation

The Times says law schools are inflating grades.

One day next month every student at Loyola Law School Los Angeles will awake to a higher grade point average.

But it’s not because they are all working harder.

The school is retroactively inflating its grades, tacking on 0.333 to every grade recorded in the last few years. The goal is to make its students look more attractive in a competitive job market.

Leave it to others to clarify the issue:

Despite all of these, the most controversial issue which attracts much attention is the sudden, intentional and dubiously grade inflation which is very effective. This has already been going on even before the decrease in legal job in the market.

Seer Press News on its contributors:

Seer Press News has the best lineup of writers who have mastered the area of their craft. Each of the writers have years of journalism experience so it is guaranteed that the facts and information published on seerpress.com are almost unmistakably timely and accurate. These writers are solely dedicated to give you the current events happening around the world.

Not Smart Enough For Her Own Good

A hot girl at college
Discovered that knowledge
Was something for which she would pay;
If she'd been a bit smarter
Or studied up harder
She might have been childless and gay.

Via.

Prophetic Woodcuts - Mayan Edition

Curriculum of Champions

Woodcuts of Destiny

Treatment

Through the whole health care kafuffle down south - where a buncha family members live - I did not complain about Canada as a model, because on the whole it's pretty good.

When it comes to a single provider, however, it can be a struggle to get treatment options on the menu such as those for the diagnostic junkbox of autism spectrum disorder. I pay a ton of money out to therapists for my lovely child, while the main support we get comes not from the health ministry but from the ministry that also handles welfare - the provincial government doesn't want to cough up the actual amount of money required to deal with it as a medical issue, and so provides a sop via the same place that junkies go to beg for money (and hey, I'm cool with junkies getting money but I generally don't wanna hang out with them unless absolutely necessary).

This bullshit has been pulled by the tepid socialist governments I generally vote for and by the current pretend centrists. No voting for anybody who doesn't recognize autism as a health issue. FUCK YOU KEVIN FALCON. Also FUCK THE OLYMPICS of course.

Below is the most coherent picture yet drawn by the lovely daughter, who has an absurdly good memory, enjoys dictionaries,* can pun painfully, and is a pretty happy kid in any case.



*Spelling NAZI.

Acidcasting

Tapestry is the CBC's hour of religion exploration, but last week there was an hour of an interview with Don Lattin, who talks about his book on the Harvard folks who popularized acid.

In possibly related news, Telepathic Ed remembers his parakeet.

Also Jerry Seinfeld is an old guy talking about Lady Gaga:

Seinfeld, 56, also said when asked about the June 10 incident, "I wish her the best. You take one 'A' off of that and you've got gag. I don't know what these young people think or how they promote their careers."

And the story of Cala Boca Galvão, which may tell someone to shut up, or might be a Lady Gaga single, or a campaign to save a rare bird.

Did Michelangelo Draw A Brain in God's Neck?

A hopeful person says YES! He is late to the party.

My own researches have shown that Michelangelo was indeed consumed by anatomy, enough so to insert clever references to his scholarship into his work at the Sistine Chapel under (or over) the very eyes of the religious authorities. Look closely here:



Did you see it? Fear of exposure of his detailed anatomical knowledge - and let's face it - the ruthless censorship of the time led the great Michelangelo to conceal in his masterpiece this unusually detailed portrait of a part of human anatomy that was until then shrouded in mystery:

Rand Paul: Better Than Obama?

Here's a title for you:

S**t My Rand Says: A Compendium Of Paul's Wacky Quotes

And here are the first five:

Church And State

• "Addressing President Bush's program of channeling government money through religious-based charities, Paul said on KET's Kentucky Tonight on June 30, 2008, that 'churches do charity work, and that is wonderful, but they shouldn't be corrupted with government money.'

"He also said the initiatives 'obscure the church-state separation that there really ought to be,'" the paper reports.

The War In Iraq

• At a Jan. 31, 2008 presidential campaign rally in Montana for his father, Texas Rep. Ron Paul (R), Rand addressed the ongoing war in Iraq and the occupation of the country by U.S. forces.

"Some Republicans are not going to want to hear this," Paul told the crowd at the rally, according to the Courier-Journal. "But I live near Fort Campbell, and there are 50,000 soldiers there. I tell people you have to truly imagine what your feelings would be if those soldiers were Chinese soldiers and they were occupying the United States. We wouldn't have it. Republican and Democrat, we'd be blowing up the Chinese with roadside bombs as they were coming off the base. No country wants foreign soldiers on their land."

• "In an interview on May 15, 2009, Paul told the host of Antiwar Radio that he would have voted against going to war in Iraq and that he opposes a long-term occupation of Iraq or Iran."

"In the same interview, he said, 'I think torture is always wrong' and that 'our country should have a higher ideal than that.'"

Granted, he's a libertarian so he's bananas, and sillier quotes follow, but heck, until he gets to stuff about capitalism he sounds like a distant dream. Bring on the wackiness! From a non-libertarian that is...

A Royal Boner

Pot Steams At Kettle

Here's our old pal Burt Prelutsky!

One of the great mysteries of life is how Democrats have managed to tar Republicans as America’s racists.

A promising start, then Robert Byrd et cetera. But on we go:

Therefore, one has to assume that the reason that over 90% of black Americans troop out to vote for any left-wing bozo, be he black or white, is that down deep they agree with patronizing liberals who regard them all as ignorant and shiftless.

Gee, no racism there.

If white Americans are racists, we’re certainly the most selective ones the world has ever known, inasmuch as our bigotry seems to be reserved solely for illegal aliens and black ingrates.

None there either. The mystery of how Democrats have managed to tar Republicans as America's racists must remain unsolved.

Idiots

Aqsa Parvez was a girl murdered by her Muslim father. Stupid asshole Mark Krikorian finds a knothead:

Plug the Damn Hole [Mark Krikorian]

A column in yesterday's Globe and Mail on the murder of Aqsa Parvez in Canada gets to the policy point too many want to avoid:

Decades ago, illiterate Italians also immigrated to Canada, bringing with them a harsh, patriarchal culture where religion dominated all. But they didn’t marry cousins imported fresh from the old country. And so they began to raise their children differently.

Despite the pious assertions of the open-borders Right, we cannot address multiculturalism without first reducing immigration. Anyone who claims otherwise is either fooling you or fooling themselves. Only by first plugging the hole will we have any chance of addressing the consequences.

As befits Mark Krikorian, he has found stupid asshole Margaret Wente, who fails to notice an Italian connection to honour and killing when she wants to slur the one group and not the other. And Catholicism's been swell for everybody hasn't it?

Here, at least, Aqsa Parvez had a pretty decent shot at running away, and now her monster father and her monster brother are in jail. This intolerable crime that happened three years ago and others like it have made Canada the murder capital of Canada.

The Bonerz Age

A well-known archeologist once gave a public lecture on the the Artemision Bronze. He described where it was found, where it might have been made, and how the statue might have held a trident or a lightning bolt, representing Poseidon or Zeus respectively. At the end of the lecture, a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said: "What you have told us is rubbish. What he is holding is another god's boner." The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, "Why would he stand to hold another god's boner up over his head when he is perfectly capable of holding his own?" "You're very clever, young man, very clever", said the old lady. "But it's boners all the way down!"

Force and Legitimacy

How delightfully kooky, right?

Pakistan (Reuters) - An American man accused of trying to sneak into Afghanistan to hunt down and kill al Qaeda head Osama bin Laden has been detained by authorities in Pakistan, police said on Tuesday.

Also detained were all Americans connected with the operation of unmanned drones. Ho ho, just kidding.

The Librariation of Women

Recent advances in Russian university beauty contest technology have brought us the Sexy Librarian sub-event.



No innovations were seen in the boxing competition, although progress in plush-toy durability made the teddy-bear teddy-mouse cuddling less disastrous than in past years. Well done technicians.

Here is the measure of post-soviet freedom:

Fish Bait

The Green Party as stalking horse:

Texas Democrats have filed a lawsuit after learning that an out-of-state Republican consultant helped the Green Party qualify for the state's general-election ballot for the first time since 2002—a surprising turn of events Democrats claim is a plot to hurt their gubernatorial candidate in November.

The Texas Democratic Party filed the suit Thursday against Arizona-based consultant Timothy F. Mooney, a Missouri group called Take Initiative America Inc., the Texas Green Party and "unknown conspirators," alleging a slew of state election-law violations.

Tinariwen Again

Watch Carlos Santana poop all over it:

Lookit

A change:

Israel bowed to international pressure yesterday when it agreed to reopen crossing points into Gaza for everyday goods.

The decision was prompted by criticism of its bloody interception of an aid flotilla two weeks ago and condemnation of the Gaza blockade by the Red Cross.

But:

Tony Blair, Middle East peace envoy, hailed the move as significant after the Israeli Prime Minister, Binyamin Netanyahu, agreed in principle to relax restrictions on goods entering Gaza. It will replace the current narrow list of permitted items with a list of specifically prohibited goods.

Who knows what the future holds?

Oh, and guess who's coming to dinner?

You're the Top

I've been listening to an Ethel Merman version of this. Never really paid attention to the lyrics before, but apparently if you are the top you are cellophane. The lyrics were put together by survey.

What's below needs correction, but am I correcting it? NO.

At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best
Instead of getting them off my chest
To let 'em rest unexpressed

I hate parading my serenading
As I probably miss the bar
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you how great you are

You're the top, you're the Coliseum
You're the top, you're the Louvre Museum
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet, a Shakespeare's sonnet
You're Mickey Mouse

You're the Nile, you're the Tower of Pisa
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop
But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

You're the top, you're Mahatma Gandhi
You're the top, you're Napoleon Brandy
You're the purple light of a summer night in Spain
You're the National Gallery, you're Garbo's salary
You're cellophane

You're sublime, you're the turkey dinner
You're the time of the Derby winner
I'm a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop
But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

You're the top, you're an arrow collar
You're the top, you're a Coolidge dollar
You're the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire
You're an O'Neill drama, you're Whistler's mama
You're Camembert

You're [Incomprehensible], you're Inferno's Dante
You're the nose on the great Durante
I'm just in the way as the French would say, "De trop"
But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

You're the top, you're the Waldorf salad
You're the top, you're a Berlin ballad
You're the basic grand of a lady and the gents
You're an old Dutch master, you're Mrs. Astor
You're Pepsodent

You're romance, you're the steps of Russia
You're the pants on a Roxy usher
I'm a lazy lout with just about to stop
But if baby, I'm the bottom, you're the top

ALSO:

Look at the fuckers from answers.com try to make their lyrics safe from dastardly cut-and-pasters:

Kooky Stuff

From the in-box:

I just discovered JanusNode, and appreciate your blog postings describing it. It's kind of a quirky tool, but clearly the developer put his heart into it, which I can appreciate.

Me and some friends have been doing computer-assisted poetry at:

http://gnoetrydaily.wordpress.com/

which you're welcome to check out if you're into that sort of thing. We use a variety of tools, all of which are available for general use. Anyway, we have a number of discussions about authoring computer poetry in general, I thought you might be interested.

A cursory look made me giggle. Gonna have to figure out Gnoetry.

Why You Did Not Receive Flowers

Political Instruments

There once was a pud-whacking fool
Who'd whack to 2 girls eating stool
'Til one wonderful day
When a troll showed the way
And he noticed his communist tool.

Trolling Mikey

Cory Doctorow posts an enthusiastic endorsement of the latest Ubuntu release using the "just works" tagline. There follows a comments thread full of Linux enthusiasts disagreeing.

Oh Doogaroonie!

[Daughter fiddling with the computer]

Me: It's not plugged in.

D: Oh doogaroonie!

M: Ha ha.

D: "Oh doogaroonie" is my way of saying "Oh fuck."

The Pancake Perspective

As an avid follower of all things Orly - which now includes Dan Lacey, Painter of Pancakes, I wound up at this post which recaps shit you already know.

Nevertheless, a great lead-off comment:



To get a clear idea of my opinion of Vitajex, one would have to look to Rom the Spaceknight, who no doubt would aim his Neutralizer at Mr. So-Called-Vitajex and banish him to Limbo for eternity.

Ellsworth Toohey:

Damned

It's almost as if Big Hollywood doesn't actually like Hollywood.

The Olympic Legacy

Now my school board is battling the provincial government over $17,000,000 dollars.

Every fucking year I have to haggle with the school board - swell folks all, but you gotta do what you gotta do - over our circumstances, and that haggling is only about money. I'm with the school board in this battle - I voted for the current chair and specifically for her to hassle the provincial government for resources - and there's no fucking way that the government can't cough up a few million for its own citizens after staging a six billion dollar party.

FUCK THE OLYMPICS.

Pancakery!

The Left-Wing Conspiracy is in trouble:

Pancake painter Dan Lacey's artwork enraged one of his portrait subjects, Laguna Niguel's Dr. Orly Taitz. The birther activist, dentist and failed Secretary of State candidate last month asked a judge to help her to force Lacey to disclose who's been paying him to paint pancake-Taitz.

Could it be this gentleman?



Or this one?



No, too direct.

Aha!

Feeding Time

Future supplies:

The Patriarchy

A small part of a paper by Larissa Remennick of Bar-Ilan University about Russian engineers in Israel:

Besides the general problems of language command and skill incompatibility common for all immigrant engineers, women faced an additional disadvantage due to the local definition of engineering as a male occupation. Many participants related that they were screened out at the stage of sending a resume´ and never arrived at job interviews, although potential employers never openly mentioned their gender as a reason. Several women who had job interviews along with male candidates they knew (both immigrant and local-trained) pointed out that employers eventually hired men whose prior work experience was poorer than theirs, invariably preferring a male and (if available) local candidate to a female and immigrant one. ‘Israelis don’t believe that women can be ambitious and competent engineers’, was a recurrent statement during group discussions. One woman, who was hired and soon fired when a male candidate applied for her job, tried to sue the firm for gender discrimination. Her Israeli friends dissuaded her from doing that, saying she would deprive herself of any further chance of a decent job. ‘It’s a small market-place, and a woman can’t afford to have the reputation of a troublemaker’, the advice went.

The article's about Israel, but the North American readers of this silly website have likely seen similar things in their localities. A lot of countries produce - or have in the past produced - female graduates in science and technology on a level unheard of in my environs. I wonder how Russia is doing now in this area.

The Silver Lining

Orly Taitz: objectively more popular than Mickey Kaus.

Proof Competition Works!

Okay, That's Kinda Horrifying

The Tongue

Creature first spotted at Jennifer's. Eyeblinks in future maybe. God help me, it was fun doing unnecessary math to move the legs around.

Listening To This

Except by Elisabeth Leonskaja. Can't find video for her though.

NOT FAR ENOUGH!

Over at Boing Boing:

Sheikh Al Obeikan, an adviser to the royal court and consultant to the Ministry of Justice, set off a firestorm of controversy recently when he said on TV that women who come into regular contact with men who aren't related to them ought to give them their breast milk so they will be considered relatives.

"The man should take the milk, but not directly from the breast of the woman," Al Obeikan said, according to Gulf News. "He should drink it and then becomes a relative of the family, a fact that allows him to come in contact with the women without breaking Islam's rules about mixing."

In the spirit of brotherhood all men should drink the breast milk of all women. This way, we will all be related and peace will reign forever more.

Perhaps there is a role for homeopaths in all of this or does me swimming in the ocean mean everyone who has ever tasted water is totally eating my ass anyway?

Adventures in Subtitles

In the film Stalker two men and their guide prepare to visit a room purported to grant wishes. Worries about the types of men who might use such a room occur:



Ho ho! This is obviously a mistake, and the word meant is FURRIES. An example is pictured below:



ALSO:

Google has suggestions:

Top 6

At Big Journalism as of today, news of importance:



Strangely enough that Rush Limbaugh gentleman remains employed.

The Greatest Typo Ever

The little monstress is a Frida Kahlo enthusiast so at the art gallery we looked her up in 50 Artists You Should Know.

A Defeat in the Pissing Contest

It seems that I have to figure out PNG transparency because my clever cheat with GIF transparency is fun to dip granny into but the stagecraft is revealed once you try to pull granny out.

Mohammad stolen from the courageous Roy Edroso.