Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Pure Satisfaction

Circle the wagons!
To majority media and other Democrats : we police our own, and you don’t get to judge
Drop dead.

Posted by E Pluribus Unum (Profile)
Wednesday, June 24th at 4:50PM EDT
According to my strict interpretation of this writing, no Righteous Bubbas are prohibited from judging, so judge I shall.

By all means report the facts. I’m sure you’ll be happy to cover every salacious detail. Have at it. Be sure to cover the pain and suffering of Governor Sanford’s family. While you are at it, cover the depth to which all South Carolina and nation-wide Republicans and conservatives rightly feel betrayed.

Beyond that, just shut up. Shut your lying, hypocritical, power-above-patriotism, hyper-partisan, two-faced, shamelessly double-standard bearing pie hole.

You don’t get to judge.
Let's see this in practice:

1. Mark Sanford is a Republican governor
2. Mark Sanford is married
3. Republicans are the party of family values
4. Mark Sanford vanished, winding up in Argentina to wiggle his weenie in a woman he was not married to
The Library of Congress could hardly contain chapter and verse of the multitudes of ways the press and the other Democrats have gotten away with judging Republicans by wholly different standards than that applied to Democrats.
Er, are Republican standards different or what? I mean, what diaper brand or bathroom stall are we all agreed on?
But that double standard is both obvious and as wide as the Grand Canyon. You show no honor, no equity, no fairness, and no scruples yourselves. You, to put it mildly, do not police your own.

We do. We’ll deal with Sanford.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
We have standards (you don’t), and we have a long history of punishing and purging our leaders who prove unworthy of trust.
Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
For your part, serial adulterer Bill Clinton remains a rock star as far as you are concerned, and that about sums up the standards to which Democrats hold themselves.
I believe this sums up the standards to which you hold Democrats.
So, spare us your mock outrage,
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
your tut-tutting,
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
your finger-wagging,
Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
your eyebrows furrowed in anger.
Regrettably I can think of nothing funny involving eyebrows.
If you are well and truly outraged by Mark Sanford’s adultery, but could not trouble yourself to muster even a little mild disapproval against the cretin who wiped his feet with the honor of the office of President of the United States, then you are a hypocrite yourself of the lowest stripe. You are unworthy to judge.

So just shut up.
Not at all outraged so yadda yadda yadda.

But what might this policing mean?


M. Bouffant beats me to it
but a few This Day in History posts will end the embarrassment in a jiffy.

Also forgot to mention I owe Caliph Garrett a cruel one.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

M.B. might have beat ya to it, R.B.

Cue L.A. Law Firm...

Righteous Bubba said...

The blinking TUT counts double.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

TUT TUT leads to TU TU.

And from there, 2+2 to who knew.

I think I best stop here.

herr doktor bimler said...

Can you actually furrow eyebrows? Furrowed foreheads, yes; but IIRC eyebrows are traditionally knitted. Into what, no-one has ever told me. Ornamental tea-cosies perhaps.
Perhaps he meant 'furloughed eyebrows', when they go wandering off on their own, in sympathy with Sanford.

mikey said...

Goddam it, I'm not the most worldly of the local population, but with every sniveling apology for moistening the landing gear I become more enamored of the french.

The french who have, over the millenia, developed a perfectly reasonable compartmentalization between the dabbling in diddling and the act of governance.

Men can fuck entire lists of powerful and less-so women and still make excellent leaders of large, complex bureaucracies. Conversely, men of purity and individual will can fail abjectly in even middle management. In fact, there is some anecdotal evidence supporting a theory that the more voracious and perhaps even predatory leaders are the more effective powers.

But wherever you come down on the fucking/capability scale, the one thing that cannot be questioned is that to depend for your political credibility on some evangelical religious platform while at the same time trying to win in a bare-knuckled testosterone-charged arena where you don't win by winning, but by vanquishing your opponents, burning their village and salting the earth.

And the guy who wins in that world may not be the most pious of motherfuckers.

Well, except for Huckabee...


The incyto!

herr doktor bimler said...

To majority media and other Democrats : we police our own, and you don’t get to judge
Drop dead.

To clouds : Your perverse shapes are suggestive and disturbing. Become uplifting depictions of the Martyrdom of St. Heliogabalus.

tigris said...

I think he meant furrowed brow rather than eyebrows. I still can't figure out what he meant instead of police, though. Maybe it has something to do with doughnuts?

herr doktor bimler said...

The fat lady of Limbourg
looked at the samples that we sent
and furrowed her brow

you are a hypocrite yourself of the lowest stripe
Teh Great Gazoogle is unaware of any Internet tradition of saying 'lowest stripe' when you seem to mean "worst stripe".

But as for 'equity' (in the context of honour, fairness and scruples), I'm still completely bumfuzzled.

Does Mr Unum pay any attention to these garbled and half-remembered figures of speech that he's spouting? Is there any evidence of self-editing? It's like Plato's comparison between the process of thought and reaching into an aviary to pull out the particular bird you want, but Mr Unum has simply let the cage-door swing wide open and let out all the birds, not to mention a couple of giant black bats.

M. Bouffant said...

Hey, we both beat TBogg.

And you'll be LOLing out of the other side of your keyboard when AP sues my worthless ass for permissionless reproduction of their daily exercise in revisionism, & I'm the squawk of the toobz. Step three: Profit!

Got a law firm on retainer & everything.

M. Bouffant said...

P. S.: Your big red TUT don't blink nohow on this devil-box.

Righteous Bubba said...

Well there's an argument against Chrome.

No blink tag? It's like Geocities never existed!

mikey said...

The primary argument against chrome is that it scratches easily, and up towards the manifold it discolors in the heat. Plus all that maintenance, rubbing and polishing, it's like some kinda purple helmet or something.

Do yourself a favor, stick to flat black or even parkerized, dunifir, you'll be much happier...

Righteous Bubba said...

Animated GIF added for the blink-deficient.

herr doktor bimler said...

Chrome? Damn fine band. I never could get into Helios Creed's solo albums.
In fact I'm off now to play 'Third From the Sun' with the volume cranked up. I may be some time.

herr doktor bimler said...

E Pluribus Fuckbum.

mikey said...

Or, as we like to have our old ladies cross stitch on our colors, "From the Many, ButtSecks"...