Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Holiday Advice

Dear parents: Cars 2 is the only Pixar film I endured rather than watched. It is bad.

To up the Google juice for this post I wanted to add some Cars 2 hentai but after searching (!) I found I had to make my own.



Now I am become Rule 34, the destroyer of worlds.

23 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, this post made me chuckle.

W/v says "materbe" enjoying himself.

fish said...

I am disappointed that cars hentai did not yield google results. Perhaps Bing?

WV: Caryo

Skynet is having some fun.

fish said...

He really is a "mater"

fish said...

insert tailpipe joke here

vacuumslayer said...

Ruliest 34iest of all?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Poor Daddy Substance.
~

tigris said...

OMG this REQUIRES animation. Also a squeak sound.

Captcha is vamorsl, which is when a tiny person vamooses.

vacuumslayer said...

I had "prebor," which is when someone boring warms up an audience for a REALLY boring act.

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, btw, speaking of kids stuff, my nephew is nuts about Cars. The first one...and Sirius pointed me to this music act a couple days ago...and I found the music pretty charming and fun for kiddie music.

Do you think it's too babyish for Young McGravitas? Or is she strictly into Murp and other metal acts?

Substance McGravitas said...

OMG this REQUIRES animation. Also a squeak sound.

I might get around to having a Lightning McQueen to drag and drop to fuck whatever's handy. The problem is his pose is really great with the one wheel touched down, and I'd probably have to make him all stretchy to keep that wheel in place.

Maybe some bulging eyes too.

Substance McGravitas said...

Do you think it's too babyish for Young McGravitas?

She really needs something to hold her attention, usually language-based: gibberish or foreign languages work best, although Lydia works pretty well.

fish said...

Lydia works for me too.

fish said...

Okay has to be said: autoerotica.

vacuumslayer said...

Auto-erotic asPixaration

Smut Clyde said...

OMG this REQUIRES animation

Collidoscope.

Smut Clyde said...

Now I am imagining the alternative version of Cars written by J.G. Ballard.

tigris said...

You've already ruined The Brave Little Toaster, now Cars? Is nothing safe from Smuttification? I ask ye.

Substance McGravitas said...

Wait, so the cars fucking up above isn't ruining it? MUST TRY HARDER.

tigris said...

Actually, from your review it sounds like it came pre-ruined. A Ballard rewrite might be just the ticket, so to speak.

J— said...

Dear parents: Cars 2 is the only Pixar film I endured rather than watched. It is bad.

Thanks for the heads-up. I haven't seen that one yet. Is it worth watching for the animation? I read Anthony Lane's article on Pixar and there's quite a bit in there about changes they did for Cars 2, as it was their most recent film when he visited Emeryville.

Substance McGravitas said...

Is it worth watching for the animation?

There's some ocean in the initial scenes that looks gorgeous, but everything else is very shiny and bright and cartoony and not far-enough removed from television animation. One of the more frustrating things is that most of the "locations" involve racing so things happen very fast and it doesn't seem to matter much that they're in Japan or Paris or Italy, although there are area-appropriate jokes. The movie's quickly-paced so you're paying much more attention to the characters rather than lovely pictures.

It's also a movie about the annoying second banana. Maybe there could be a Star Wars sequel all about Jar-Jar Binks.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Maybe there could be a Star Wars sequel all about Jar-Jar Binks.


GOLD, Jerry!

wiley said...

So, this is what cars do when no one is looking, or when in the wild. Too bad they're sterile and can't give birth to a new car every ten years-- which means that they aren't having sex for procreative purposes.

Hmmmm.

Be on the look-out for douchehat to write a column about these slutty cars and this is why he can't get laid.