The House of Substance: He Who Smelled It Dealt It

Sunday, December 11, 2011

He Who Smelled It Dealt It

Shorter John Nolte:

People didn't want to go see The Muppets because the outrageously biased left-wing media let everyone know that Fox Business News did a segment that called The Muppets communist.

13 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...: In week three, “The Muppets” is expected to take in only a measly $7M, making its total take a disappointing $65M.

It's no American Carol, that's for sure.

An American Carol which opened on 1,639 screens nationwide, finished ninth at the box office that week, with a gross of $3.8 million, or a per-screen average of $2,325. For its second weekend, An American Carol had a 58.8 percent drop in box office receipts and dropped to #15, grossing $1,505,000 at 1,621 theaters or $928 per screen.

The film faded in the box office in its third weekend dropping 73.8 percent and finishing #21 at 599 theaters grossing $365,000 or $609 per screen. In its fourth weekend, it dropped to #41 at 109 theaters grossing $60,000 or $550 per screen.
~; December 11, 2011 at 12:44 PM
tigris said...: making its total take a disappointing $65M.

Or $15M more than it cost to make it. In three weeks. Continuing Thunder's thought-train, "American Carol" cost $12M and only made $7M total, according to imdb. Apparently communism pays better.; December 11, 2011 at 1:16 PM
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...: Be careful following my thought-train, tigris.

There's apt to be bridges out, and such as.
~; December 11, 2011 at 1:41 PM
tigris said...: Alls I saw was a mustachioed villain tying a lady to the tracks.; December 11, 2011 at 2:21 PM
Dr.KennethNoisewater said...: Well. I read the whole thing. And now I'm sad. Mostly for John Nolte.

I could Cerberus this thing, but I don't have the time now. It's just that it's so silly and petty. White wine? Really? I think most wine connoisseurs take red wine much more seriously.

Plus, he tries to say that there is controversy surrounding the movie because of left-wing reaction to a Fox News story. Well, no matter how much he twists himself into pretzels, he has to acknowledge that--to put it 6 in the six-year-old's vernacular--they started it. So actually, Fox News made it controversial, not the librul wine-sipping media. Secondly, the story deserved every bit of the snarky derision it got. Because Fox is dumb and wrong about everything.

This guy is really grasping. Geesh.; December 11, 2011 at 4:40 PM
wiley said...: That's the movie me and the m-a-n are seeing on x-mas day or x-mas eve. Can't wait.

My dad and I use to get stoned and gab while watching the Muppets with the sound turned off. Happy memories. We'd get stoned and have a nip of brandy or liqueur before bundling up to shovel the snow out of the driveway, too.

Families that toke together do something that rhymes with "toke" together, and watch the sheer brilliance and artistry of the Muppets together.

People who bitch about Muppets have some serious issues.; December 11, 2011 at 5:46 PM
mikey said...: Of course, in order for any of this to matter you'd have to:

a: Acknowledge that the Muppets are cuturally important in some defining fashion.

b: Acknowledge that the Muppets have something important to say about our political values.

c: Acknowledge that you are swayed politically by the ideolgogical underpinnings of puppets.

d: Acknowledge that it is important to tease out the ideological underpinnings of children's movies.

e: Acknowledge that wholly subjective conclusions about the political ideology of certain film makers, even in the cases of children's and teen movies, are important clues to what the American electorate really thinks - more important, say, then polls or elections...; December 11, 2011 at 6:24 PM
Substance McGravitas said...: a: Acknowledge that the Muppets are cuturally important in some defining fashion.

It has been established that the Muppets are poisoning the minds of our children.; December 11, 2011 at 6:41 PM
fish said...: Another way to look at it is that this movie is the 3rd best muppet movie (of seven) in adjusted ticket sales after only 3 weeks in the theater. But you know, facts are biased.; December 12, 2011 at 5:40 AM
fish said...: A gem from the comment section of Sub's link:

I love "Muppets Christmas Carol": the one with Michael Caine. I guess it could be construed as "rob the rich to feed the poor", but since it's Mr.Dickens's story, the Muppets aren't entirely responsible.

CURSE YOU COMMIE DICKENS!!; December 12, 2011 at 5:43 AM
zombie rotten mcdonald said...: I knew they would eventually come out on Scrooge's side.

Well, at least I have a sincere affection for the Muppets in common with wiley.; December 12, 2011 at 6:56 AM
Dan Coyle said...: Even funnier, today he argued New Year's day was a bomb because even though Valentine's Day had a great first weekend, buzz spread that it wasn't good. Which apparently wasn't a possibility with the Muppets.

I never tire of pointing this out, but John Nolte, by his own admission, is 45 years old (actually, I think he's 47, but 45 is what he's willing to admit to).; December 12, 2011 at 6:16 PM
M. Bouffant said...: If the "liberal" media closed shop, there'd be no source for the stories the ninnies claim the MSM is covering up.; December 12, 2011 at 10:43 PM

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