Sunday, November 20, 2011

POOP

mikey said...

[...]

Hey, that makes me wonder. When the catholics eat jesus on sundays, do they poop jesus on monday? And if so, shouldn't their be some detailed biblical guidelines for handling that matter (heh) in some more, er, delicate fashion than a simple, perfunctory flush?
[...]

Now I am forced to Google and OH FUCK YOU:



Google is getting worse. It doesn't help my search results if the stupid computer is trying to think on my behalf and return "stool" for "defecation". Can you just stop "improving" my results? The little plus sign in front of the not-quite naughty word used to mean that the word was required to be returned in a search, but evidently synonyms are okay because they could never have any other meaning, could they? Adding quotes does not help, adding a -stool seems to, in a way, but I would prefer to SEARCH FOR THE WORDS I AM SEARCHING FOR, FUCKERS.

Might have to revisit Bing.



Great, first result returned features the word "defection". Thanks computer geniuses!

21 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

You say "fuck" an awful lot in this entry. I think you need to quit hanging around people like Smut. (I don't think he actually uses he word often, but I feel like I should be able to blame this on him, ya know? I just feels right.) Not me. I never say "fuck." And I don't approve of such rude fucking language.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Could GOD make a poop so big even HIS toilet couldn't flush it?
~

vacuumslayer said...

LOL!

I was going to chime in on Bing, but Thudner stole my thudner.

The couple of times I've used Bing, I've been really impressed.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

but Thudner stole my thudner.

I iz expert in that deportment, not-mommy-blog rabbit-eared lady...

Which reminds me of a song, for some strange reason.
~

fish said...

no singing

Smut Clyde said...

Do you sometimes find that the commercially-sponsored links responding to a search request fill so many pages that you lose interest by the time you wade down past them? Particularly a hassle when searching for anything book-related, for then the fiercely-competing second-hand book companies take over.
It takes me back to the days of the late unlamented Alta Vista.

Smut Clyde said...

Also, Feck.

vacuumslayer said...

Filth!

mikey said...

It is without a doubt easier to find something to buy than it is to find something to know...

J— said...

Google used to be the thing I could manipulate with ease, now it manipulates me.

Time to join Facebook!

wiley said...

After pooping out a "three-legged" stool I'd be saying a thing or two to Gawd before I told Clouds that he needed to get ready to drive me to the emergency room while I looked for something to put the locomotive piece of shit in so that it couldn't escape.

I would however, relish the experience of putting the specimen up to a doctor's face and asking, "WTF is this shit?!"

Substance McGravitas said...

Do you sometimes find that the commercially-sponsored links responding to a search request fill so many pages that you lose interest by the time you wade down past them?

Yes, and it's a bitch because I have to find shit all day. Google used to be the thing I could manipulate with ease, now it manipulates me.

Another Kiwi said...

J's comment, replying to Subby's comment, was made before sub made it!!
This place is creeping me out!

Substance McGravitas said...

I just downloaded a whole ton of neutrinos via BitTorrent. Or rather I plan to so reality already changed.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

When the catholics eat jesus on sundays, do they poop jesus on monday?

Deification of defecation!

fish said...

"WTF is this shit?!"

That is some funny shit.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

It figures that you're teh go-to expert on Substance Theory.

My understanding of transubstantiation is that it's no longer Jesus once you eat/drink it. That Christ is manifest in teh eucharist, but teh eucharist does not manifest itself into those taking Communion.

Although, this means that every time you take Communion, you kill Jesus.

zencomix said...

It's only a wafer thin communion wafer.

tigris said...

I think Jesus turns into your flesh so he's not pooped out. Ultimate protein source, straight to muscle!

I know what you mean about google, I don't know why they insist on BREAKING SHIT THAT WORKS but they've done it several times now, and it gets shittier every time they "improve" it. I guess they're trying to keep ahead of the useless crap-slingers who try to subvert the algorithm to get their useless shit at the top but HOLY FUCK, can't that be done without making it useless from the get-go? GRR ANGRY TIGRIS IS ANGRY!

El Manquécito said...

GRR ANGRY TIGRIS IS ANGRY!


Hawt!

The transubstantiation has to be instantaneous because of all the kids that stick wafers to the roof of their mouth.

mikey said...

Ok, fine.

But what's the deal with the fucking HOLY GHOST?

That dood seems like he oughta be part of a different book, gnome sane?