Thursday, November 10, 2011

Anus... Clenching... Skin... Tightening...

20 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

They say anus clenching is quick and non-surgical, but it's still really painful.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Substance is doing an awful lot of blogging for someone who is supposed to be driving.

Smut Clyde said...

The words "laser" and "care" do not really look that good side-by-side. Not even in an advertisement for skin burns.

Brando said...

Substance must be driving the new Dodge Blogger, the first car with a built in dash keyboard and a rear-view mirror that displays comments.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

OK, why hasn't somebody made that car?

In other news, we saw a local story about a drunk dad who was responsible enough to designate a driver - his 9 year old daughter.

When asked is she drove too fast, she said no. If she used turn signals? yes. If she drove too slow? No.

Fuck, I said, give her a license, she's already doing better than half the adult drivers on the goddam road.

vacuumslayer said...

Yeah, give her license and a new dad.

El Manquécito said...

I think a 9 year old chauffeur is even better than Mikey's monkey butler.

Another Kiwi said...

How many LOLs per gallon d'ya get from the Dodge?

wiley said...

Kinda off topic, but kinda not, anyone hear of this possible revolution in treatment for burns with stem cells?

http://www.engadget.com/2010/12/02/over-the-counter-spray-on-stem-cell-treatment-could-treat-burns/

That would be wonderful.

wiley said...

Man, I don't drive, but I want a Dodge Blogger for Clouds---my 24/7 tech driver and driver. I am a navigator with two years of experience in tactical control.

Where can we get this magnificent car?

Substance McGravitas said...

Substance is doing an awful lot of blogging

Scheduled posting, except for somewhat zonked visits to hotels and bars and restaurants to schedule more posts. There's an LA one and a desert one up soon, and then I will resume sullying other blogs with asshole comments about really big assholes.

M. Bouffant said...

No longer a local story: Saw the junior driver (just her smeared image, really) on the tube (no cable means real telebision crap) & the arresting or ticketing ossifer said she had a booster seat.

She only drove drunken dad around at night 'though.

Anyway, perhaps "Anus ... Clenching" means someone is getting over his goatse-itis.

Anonymous said...

My granny had a little book of daily face exercises for ladies. Now all we learn about are the kegels.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The real LA story would be a Bouffant/McGravitas meetup. Please tell me it happened. Furthermore, please tell me it happened in one of those dry "canal" beds that one always sees in noirish thrillers.

Smut Clyde said...

one of those dry "canal" beds
Repo man's life is always intense.

Speaking of which, was the 9-year-old driver armed, in case of attempts by repo men to repossess the car?

Substance McGravitas said...

I was in and out of LA in an evening and a morning, and also I was scared of Bouffant's various diseases. No meetup this time.

vacuumslayer said...

Geez, M. Substance is the love and leave 'em type, huh?

tigris said...

Ooh, next comes the spam link for anal clenching aesthetics!

Captcha says besseme. Not so mucho, pal!

Substance McGravitas said...

I'm gonna regret deleting something as cool as "pixel skin resurfacing". I've always wanted to be pixellated.

Anonymous said...

just stopping by to say hi