Exploring the Pinch Her Movement

Hey it's AWR Hawkins, Ph.D in military history! What military history has he to offer us today?

On July 1, 2010, I wrote a post for Big Hollywood that demonstrated how Sheryl Crow was both reaching out to Country Music fans and insulting them at the same time.

Many of us remember July 1, 2010 as The Day That We Forgot to Make Fun of AWR Hawkins.

She was reaching out to them through her work with Kid Rock, her cameo appearance at the Country Music Awards, and the home she purchased in Nashville. She was insulting them by railing against “giant cars” (like the 4×4 pickups and Hummers country artists love to drive), and calling Tea Partiers “ignorant” and “angry.”

Suffice it to say, Crow couldn’t have insulted Country Music fans more without calling them by name.

So if I say "backwoods drunken cousin-fuckers with screechy fiddles need to lay off the moonshine and finish the eighth grade" Sheryl Crow has already beaten me in the offensiveness department by talking about trucks and libertarians?

Anyway, it seems that Sheryl Crow has shit in her rider that specifies recycled this that and the other when she plays shows:

For instance, the rider contains an “environmental portion” which clearly states that Crow wishes to “minimize the overall environmental impact of the tour.” And while there’s nothing wrong with this on the surface, the problems arise when her to-do list for achieving this lowered environmental impact is fleshed out.

Yes, that's right, there's nothing wrong with talking about it, but actually DOING IT is BEYOND THE PALE. Look:

For instance, she asks venue owners to “utilize…non-petroleum cups” and other “alternatives to Styrofoam” for backstage drinks. She requests they reduce their reliance on fossil fuels by using “renewable sources and/or to [buying] sustainable energy credits where possible.” She actually asked them to check with their local utility companies to see if there’s a “green power” option they can switch to during her concert. She asks for “eco-friendly cleaning and bathroom products [and] post-consumer recycled toilet paper and paper [towels].”

OMG! Deep beneath the surface of "minimizing the environmental impact of the tour" is MINIMIZING THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT OF THE TOUR!!!

AND YET Ms. Crow insists upon bringing her show to town in vehicles with ENGINES.

Unless those buses and trucks are running off solar panels, Crow needs to hush.

Indeed. Those who tour from town to town on camelback and burn the dung to heat their locally-gathered dandelion soup would, I am certain, be immune to criticism from the likes of AWR Hawkins, Ph.D in military history.

And she need not be surprised that when heartland Americans look at her, they see what they saw in John Kerry during 2004: A snooty leftist who doubles as a control freak.

John Kerry? WHO??? Jesus fucking Christ, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.