Kinship

John T. Simpson:

All it takes is one person to break the ice. Example. Twenty years ago, my brother won tickets to a Journey concert in Worcester, Massachusetts on the radio. We rode a packed WBCN Party Bus out of Boston, but everyone was kind of uptight and kept to themselves, like there were cops in the crowd. So I took a risk and lit up a big fattie anyway. Within minutes, it was like a Cheech and Chong movie. You couldn’t see out the windows. Everyone was laughing, joking, hacking and toking.

It was Saturday last week
I was hangin' out at Johnson's Creek
We were partyin' in my van
When we were hassled by the man

Jammin' to Foghat on my 8-track
With a case of malt liquor and a bong in back
From out of nowhere came the man in blue
I thought we were busted but the pig was cool

The pig was cool
I knew him from school
The pig was cool

We were at the Journey show
The first three songs we were hangin' low
Then the band played Wheel in the Sky
Me and my babe started getting high

The dude next to me said "Gimme a hit,"
So I passed him the joint I had already lit
When I saw his badge I thought this is it
But he just said to me, "Man, this is good shit."

The pig was cool
I knew him from school
the pig was cool

Rod and Staff Watch

73 count indictment issued for alleged fake doctor
By Kirby Haskins
Advocate staff writer

Dean Alan Willoughby, 44, of 205 Helena Drive, was recently indicted by the grand jury on 73 counts, including 45 felony counts of practicing medicine without a license and 28 misdemeanor counts of third degree sexual abuse, according to media reports. An indictment is a formal accusation of a crime but does not establish guilt.

Authorities allege that Willoughby presented himself as a doctor and performed physical examinations on subjects—many of which were reportedly homeless men—at an office suite located at 841 Corporate Drive in Lexington.

[...]

The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office, in conjunction with Lexington Police, also searched Willoughby’s home as well as his place of business—“Alan and Associates”—on Fogg Pike. “Alan and Associates” includes an an office and recording studio, which was reportedly used for publishing Christian music. Several computers and other media devices were seized during these searches.

The preying on the homeless aspect of this one is pretty sick, and at the same time I'm surprised I've never seen this particular scheme: seems obvious.

Culture and Context

I saw Casino Royale - the newer one - and enjoyed it. It was silly fun.

At one point in the movie, however, Bond hasn't got the millions necessary to gamble with Mr. Evil and is about to do something drastic. What follows probably did not get a chuckle during the theatrical release, but time has a way of adding value to some things.

Stabbing Yourself In the Eye With the Beam

Heh:

Monday’s Gregalogue - Now, Because I’m Pissed
by Greg Gutfeld

Am I an old fart or am I right to be pissed that some jackass is skateboarding down the halls of the White House while all this Iranian shit is going down?

OMG WHO HAS THE GALL TO PRETEND TO BE A HUMORIST IN A TIME OF CRISIS?

UPDATE!!!

Also NO ICE CREAM!

Good Will Thwarted

Over at Big Hollywood I AM BEING REPRESSED!

Really, all I wanted to do was leave a very positive and encouraging comment after reading this:

Sarah Palin would win a landslide just being herself if she allowed me and John Ziegler produce a “reality show” that follows the Governor and her family around 24/7.

Minor Chortle Snatched From the Jaws of Boredom

I was looking up that stupid Stanley Fish article about Obama saying "I" a lot ("we" meaning "I" as well of course) because John Zeigler, in describing the Palin/Letterman thingamajig he formed an embarrassing part of, says "I" quite a bit. Why would that be, I wonder?

Anyway, the mysteries of Google led me to The Whirlpool's Rim and a guy seems to approvingly cite that and National Review stuff and who also writes paragraphs like this:

Is it unusual -- or is it just to the point -- that the "propulsion of a pointed shaft through a man's jaw" is a description not only of an action performed within a poem, but also of the pronouncement of the poet, of the activity of speech (giving the lie to the thought that music is the only kind of communication that gathers the authority of both meaning and sound)? How would the sound of the poet's words be carried through the air to his hearers except by some shaft? And is authority accomplished without the wound inflicted by that shaft and calmed by "the leeching lips of time?"*

Yes yes, shafts, jaws, lips. WHO WROTE THIS PIFFLE?

And Furthermore...

UPDATE: MR. STAPP HAS AN ENTICINGLY LARGE FOREHEAD.

PELICAN A AIR AM AROUND BADGER BRICK CAT CLAM CUZ DED DOOD DRAG DRINKED DUST EATED FORGOT FUNNY GET GOO HA I IF IT ITS JOKE KIN SHREDS MAH MAKE MUSTASH NO NOO NOW ON OOPS POO POOP POOPS POST SMART TEH TELL U WONT WURDZ RATE FOR
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

An Experiment

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©: Arlington: The Rap

Fear the зомби

"Medicine of catastrophe and reanimation"

Heeeeeeeere's Hitler!

Welp, here's what I see:



My heart is won:

Guess What? That's What!

Jonah Goldberg on removing all doubt:

The Iranians are accusing Obama of meddling even though Obama says he doesn't want to meddle. It seems this offers a great opportunity for Obama to meddle!

Yay! Also:

I'm only partly joking.

If this means he'll walk back the stupid part if necessary I do not agree with "partly".

Today, We Are All Hitlers

John T. Simpson is bringing the firepower!

The Left Has Spoken: Today, We Are All Extremists

What follows is the usual fairly heated barrage of crazy all about how leftists are really the hateful ones, but as an inadvertent illustration of the opposite of his thesis, he opens his article with this:

"The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belong to one category.” - Adolf Hitler.

Indeed, my friend, you have been misjudged.

There's much more there of course, but here:

GROW UP! I’m sick of dealing with a bunch of full-grown screaming control-freak toddlers!

"U LIBS R DUM" would be sufficient here.

Whoopsies!

Thank God for torture or we'd never have figured this out:

CIA Mistaken on 'High-Value' Detainee, Document Shows
By Peter Finn and Julie Tate
Washington Post Staff Writers
Tuesday, June 16, 2009

An al-Qaeda associate captured by the CIA and subjected to harsh interrogation techniques said his jailers later told him they had mistakenly thought he was the No. 3 man in the organization's hierarchy and a partner of Osama bin Laden, according to newly released excerpts from a 2007 hearing.

Happenings in the Greater World

The Talented Telepathist has been busy:

I told the 2 Swedish Girl Journalists about the Entire American Media Covering Up the Fact that TV Star Kelly Ripa was Gay and that this They had done for the Past 2 Years. These Swedish Journalists Said that That Was Impossible, That the Entire American Media Couldn't Possibly Be Bought Off. One of Them was So Worked Up that She could Hardly Talk, She Could Hardly Get the Words Out. Well, you Thousands of American Media People Reading This Blog Know That Unfortunately This is True. I asked These Girls if I Could Mention Their Names in My Blog and They Said No. I Said, The Evil and Powerful American Media Will Be Angry That You Sided With Me and Will Make Sure That You Lose Your Jobs and That You Never Work Again. I Said---You'll Starve To Death on the Streets of Stockhom as Martyrs to the Truth, That is So Romantic . What Girl Wouldn't Be Won by Such Pleasing Talk?

My Education

Vox Day has a quiz up on one of the modern era's most important tomes: LIBERAL FASCISM.

It turns out I am better than most at understanding its sacred message:



This is where I faltered:



Still, being only mildly above average at figuring out what Jonah wants me to think has me down.

A Little More Amber Pawlik

Needs some tweaking, but what the heck:

Peppered Hummingbird with Pickled Castle Cheeses

Ingredients:
1 hummingbird
1 castle cheese
1 portion tofu
3 tablespoons peachy raptor toe
1 pint mustard
3 tablespoons brown sugar

The first thing you are going to want to do is let the hummingbird soften. I recommend cutting it into fucking squares to let it soften quicker. Then you are going to roll the tofu with the castle cheese out onto a 15 X 9 (roughly) cookie sheet. Bake the dough at 375 F for 10 minutes. YOU MUST LET THIS COOL BEFORE PUTTING ANYTHING ON TOP OF IT. Let it cool for at least 1/2 hour. You can chop up sailfish while waiting for it to cool and make the hummingbird center. For the center, mix the raptor and the hummingbird. You can use Nurse Beefbegkloth Beautifully-Refreshing's climbing catfish skull but raptor is better for this recipe as you want more of a taste. Mix it with a blender until it is very creamy and there are no lumps. Then add in the mustard to the hummingbird mix. Spread the hummingbird mix over the cooled tofu bottom. I recommend putting it in dollups over the dough, so you can spread it around easier. Try not to touch the tofu bottom as you are spreading it. The reason why the tofu bottom has to be very cool is because otherwise it will start to lift up as you are spreading the tofu. Make sure to get all spots where the tofu shows. After this is done, sprinkle the mustard on top. Don't try cutting it until you have let it cool in the refrigerator for at least an hour. Before putting it in the refrigerator though, run a knife over the outside of the pizza, so it is easier to get out later. If you try cutting it into slices before it is cool, the tofu and the hummingbird will run along the knife with you.

I Don't Blame Him Either

Professor X is currently held in an ultra-secure prison while a team of torture specialists works on his as.

Trivia

This film review podcast is pretty funny.

Smacked By the Invisible Hand

A big Nelson Muntz laugh:

Stephen Baldwin's NY House to Be Auctioned June 24
By Roy Edroso in Featured
Friday, Jun. 12 2009 @ 12:36PM

Stephen Baldwin was once nice enough to give Runnin' Scared an interview, so we are compelled to express our regret that his house in Rockland County has been foreclosed upon and is scheduled to be auctioned off on June 24.

Remember This?

Now it's this:












I have stolen
the hair
that was on
the nightstand

and which
you were probably
saving
for sentencing.

Forgive me
it was hilarious
so big
and so silly.

[Someone made Phil Spector's hair even bigger.]