Tuesday, April 26, 2011

My Place on These Internets

Intrepid searchers at last understand my talent:



Well okay, "intrepid searcher" meaning no plural, but word will get around. In addition to "best fuck ever recorded" I expect to see "wild fuck" "awesome fuck" and "SMcGILF" showing up in these searches very soon.

BUT SHOVE THE PIPLUP UP YOUR ASSES ALREADY!!

And don't mention that Eugene Delgaudio stuff.

UPDATE!

I guess I should own it. Maybe Pooplup at some point.



Oh hell, you're all adults. You can add the poop to the cartoon penguin by yourselves. Hi search engines! пиплуп ポッチャマ 팽도리

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Religion Section

Brent Bozell:
For the Christian faithful, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday is sacred. It’s a time of reflection and prayer and fasting. It is Holy Week. It deserves the strongest respect.
You guessed it, that means STRONG RESPECTFUL RAGING. Targets please.
[Lady Gaga] is spitting in Christ’s face and pounding the crown of thorns into his head.
So...Christ's back?
The spirit of Lady Gaga also came alive in April in "The Borgias," the new Showtime miniseries that dwells playfully on an adulterous, murderous pope – a Spanish mobster in papal vestments. (It’s what Showtime considers “religious” programming.) There’s no historical doubt that Rodrigo Borgia (who became Pope Alexander VI) was flagrantly immoral, with seven illegitimate children, one of whom he named a cardinal. He was a terrible pope and a medieval Judas – and the perfect vehicle to sully today’s Catholic Church.
Boy, if there was a perfect vehicle to sully today's Catholic Church it would have to be a show about a guy five centuries dead. Also the Democrats are the party of slavery! Sure hope Brent didn't learn the many things he seems to know about the Borgias during Holy Week. Mind you, Popes is Popes I guess.

Italian Nanni Moretti dared to make a comedy about said world-spanning child-buggery operation:
Some felt this movie was mocking Pope Benedict, who recently recounted to German journalist Peter Seewald that his election was “a real shock.” Franco Zeffirelli, the director of the TV miniseries “Jesus of Nazareth,” agreed Moretti's film was an insult to the Pope and the faith. "It's a horrible cheap shot," Mr Zeffirelli said. "I feel especially sorry for this pontiff, who may not be a crowd-pleaser, but who is very civilized and reasonable."
I feel especially sorry for him too! The austere life of a servant of God precludes a lot of life's pleasures. Oiled-up acrobats are okay though.



So the Catholic Church, during Holy Week, has been sullied by a song, a TV series, and a movie. It is a very good thing that the Church, during the Oh So Sacred Whatsit, was not sullied by this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this or this. To be fair, it's unkind to think that news items are objects of interest to the good folks at Newsbusters.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Non-Profit Forgery

An interesting story:
For nearly three decades, [Mark] Landis has visited ­museums across the US in various guises and tried to donate paintings he has forged. As well as Father Scott, he has posed as “Steven Gardiner” among other aliases. He never asks for money, although museums have often hosted meals for him and made small gifts. His only stipulation is that he is donating in his parents’ names – often his actual father, ­Lieutenant Commander Arthur Landis Jr, a former US Navy officer.

Landis has been prolific and amazingly persistent. A few weeks before he came to Lafayette, “Father Scott” arrived at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City, Missouri, with a ­forgery of Head of a Sioux by Alfred Jacob Miller that he said he was giving in memory of his mother, “Helen Mitchell Scott”. Landis has so far offered copies of that work to five other museums. Yet in all this time, although curators speculate about his motives, no one has found out why he is doing it.

The Flag

Someone has made a film!
Cliff Elliot is close to getting his Eagle Scout award, a promise he made to his late father. His eagle project includes having a flagpole erected at the local Petty County High School. He paid for the project by having flags posted in neighbors’ yards for a year on patriotic holidays.

By the end of that year, the Boy Scouts of America had closed its doors due to bad press from an accidental death at a scout camp. The American Flag has also been banned from public viewing.

The Citizens Taskforce, represented by local congressman Jude Marx (who was paramount in getting the scouts closed and the flag banned), search for Cliff in an effort to stop the flag postings. Instead, Cliff skirts around the “pretend police” in an effort to finish his eagle project and become the last boy in America to become an Eagle Scout… all while striving to live the scout law.
Here's a trailer:



The title of the article introducing the film is a fine muddle:
Why We Shouldn’t Take Our Freedoms for Granted: Introducing ‘The Last Eagle Scout’
Indeed, if we take our freedoms for granted we may end up with The Last Eagle Scout.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Filed For Later Use



Yes yes, the power of dumb. How droll.

I still really like ol' Ethel:



Bonus excuse generation template:



Were those ACME™ Unpredictable Super Apes? Because when you're standing at the checkout counter behind a singed and flattened coyote it's head-scratching time.

A Remedy

Via Roy I am led to something that makes me far more furious than it should.

Fortunately we here at Substance Labs™ have been working on the Ambulatory Idea and the first tests are taking place right now!

IDEA

Things would be different if Ann could shoot that idea in the head, but alas it has no head. TAKE THAT, KRUGMAN!

Initial tests with the Ambulatory Clue were interesting but troublesome as the Substance Labs™ staff were unable to run fast enough to catch the results.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Flowers Flowers

Maybe this'll work. If so, GROOVY.

Walking It and Talking It

Someone is cranky:
None of the characters expresses a hint of sympathetic human emotion — which is precisely the point. [Ayn] Rand’s novels are vehicles for a system of thought known as Objectivism. Rand developed this philosophy at the length of Tolstoy, with the intellectual pretensions of Hegel, but it can be summarized on a napkin. Reason is everything. Religion is a fraud. Selfishness is a virtue. Altruism is a crime against human excellence. Self-sacrifice is weakness. Weakness is contemptible. “The Objectivist ethics, in essence,” said Rand, “hold that man exists for his own sake, that the pursuit of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose, that he must not sacrifice himself to others, nor sacrifice others to himself.”

If Objectivism seems familiar, it is because most people know it under another name: adolescence. Many of us experienced a few unfortunate years of invincible self-involvement, testing moral boundaries and prone to stormy egotism and hero worship. Usually one grows out of it, eventually discovering that the quality of our lives is tied to the benefit of others. Rand’s achievement was to turn a phase into a philosophy, as attractive as an outbreak of acne.
The foregoing condemnation was written by Michael Gerson, chief speechwriter and senior policy advisor for George W. Bush.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Sympathy for the Devil



TPM blew the headline, but Josh Marshall is never funny.

51st State and So Forth

It used to be that American talking points would take around six months to make their way into the Canadian discourse. These days, of course, we have the internet and things move faster:
A Saskatchewan Conservative candidate says the federal government has decided to cut funding to the International Planned Parenthood Federation, a decision he says was influenced by anti-abortion supporters.
It's good to hear this just before the election.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

More Can Con

Canada, land of Pretty Ladies:







Maybe not the land of the greatest songs though.

Top Trooper comments:
  • i have to say, that she love me with the same intensity, as i love her, and she is a real fan of trooper .Thank for upload this song with the liryc, it help me to touch her soul

  • that's where you will find love..... in the soul

  • I want you to know this song always makes me ball CRY. "I know gay"

    Use to see these guys all the time live over in Toronto...those were the days

    Once I wrote a screenplay (romance horror) a love story...this was on my music list for production...I was a dreamer

    It was about the death of innocence, high school romance...

    I am going to share this song with a lady I love THANK YOU

  • no harm crying..... cleanses the soul

    thanks for the comment

  • My name is Richard Gordon and I am an English teacher from Houston Texas. I hate poetry so I use trooper songs in class as an alternative to the set curriculum. I have since been fired from the school for sexual impropriety but Trooper will always have a place in my heart. Rock on!

  • you felt the need to share why you were fired? tmi but thanks for the comment

Canada the Reasonable

Yay!
TORONTO — The Sun News Network launched Monday by showing cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that prompted a storm of protest across the Muslim world after they were published in a Danish newspaper in 2005.

The caricatures were displayed on the fledgling network's very first show, "The Source with Ezra Levant."
Piss Christ up next I'm sure.

Monday, April 18, 2011

In Memoriam

Bye Stinky.

Attention Surplus Syndrome

TMZ wants attention.

Charlie Sheen wants attention.

9/11 Truthers want attention.

Wonder Triplet powers ACTIVATE!
Now, Mark Dice, a prominent member of The 9/11 Truth Movement, tells us his fellow conspiracy theorists are pissed -- because they feel Charlie has abandoned their cause.

Mark tells us Charlie should be "asking hard questions about what happened on 9/11 and the resulting wars ... not bragging about smoking crack and sleeping with hookers."

Mark says he's reached out to Charlie -- to no avail -- but he tells us if Charlie doesn't address the issue soon, he and several theorists* will protest in front of Sheen's upcoming shows.
It would be a terrible thing if Charlie Sheen and Mark Dice met to settle their differences at the TMZ offices and a stray plane crashed and KILLED THEM ALL TO DEATH.

*Void where prohibited.

Tales from the Incremental R∃VOᒧution

A news item important to Canadian dopers:
In the same week an Ontario court struck down Canada's marijuana law, "Prince of Pot" Marc Emery was told he won't be allowed a prison transfer and must serve his entire sentence in the U.S.

Kirk Tousaw, a Canadian lawyer for Emery, said authorities told his client in a letter received Friday that the U.S. government refused his transfer request due to the "seriousness of the offence" and "law enforcement concerns."

He received the news in a federal holding institution in Oklahoma while awaiting transfer to a prison in Mississippi.

Emery, who had been imprisoned in Georgia, pleaded guilty Sept. 10 in Seattle to selling marijuana seeds to Americans through his Vancouver-based catalogue company and was sentenced the same day to five years in prison.
Okay, that intro's kind of mean: this guy doesn't deserve to be in an American jail for selling seeds, neither does it help that the current Conservative government is pretty happy leaving Canadians jailed abroad to their fates, and extraditing Marc Emery in particular. Those who LLLLLLLove Liberty or (in Canada) the rule of law should be pissed, and that recent court decision just rubs it in. Emery is a guy who has done a whole lot to make Vancouver pot-tolerant, and that is to his credit. Nevertheless I am mean and I think he's a really irritating guy so I find this celeb picture of Emery from a local eatery amusing:



Maybe the congressman'll put in a good word for you, dude.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Sole Remaining Acceptable Stereotype

Mark Steyn, student of culture, edumacatin' the young ones:
Yesterday I took the kids to see Rio, a dreary and formulaic film from the makers of Ice Age. As the title suggests, it’s set in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and features all the local tourist stops – Corcovado, Carnaval – while lumbering through a lame plot about a couple of rare macaws trying to shake off the bad guys with the help of various toucans, red-crested cardinals, etc.

Afterwards, my kids asked why, in a story whose dramatis personae were otherwise Brazilian, the evil bird was a cockatoo with a sneering English accent called Nigel, and I tried to explain that the more society tiptoes around on multiculti eggshells, the more the English, as the sole remaining acceptable stereotype, have a hammerlock on perfidy and duplicity. Who else would you expect to be decimating the rare species of the Brazilian rain forest? Pedro the cockatoo? Lashawn the cockatoo? Ahmed the cockatoo? Whoa, don’t go there.
Only now, when the dreaded PC police can confiscate your script the moment it leaves your stereotypewriter, has the hideous sound of the English accent been used to signify evil.

Once Britain falls to the Muslamofascist hordes I expect New Zealanders to get all the Nazi roles.

Just Asking For It

The Go Fuck Yourself Club adds a new member:
Fashion photographer Jamie Beck created these gorgeous high concept animated gif portraits of model Coco Rocha. Beck is calling them “cinemagraphs.”
Sorry, those are Goatsegraphs™.

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