Poems I Always Hated

I have fucked
your mum
while we were in
your bedroom

and while
you were probably
shopping
for Mother's Day

Forgive me
she was delicious
so sweet
and so old

Context here and here.

Winning Hearts and Minds

There's a larger version of the following pic by Bosch Fawstin at Big Hollywood:

I think if there's a way to get to the heart of why we should support the troops, Comic Sans messages from hulking thugs with mildly reprehensible design elements - is that a rising sun he's obscuring? - are just the thing. But who is this mysterious bruiser?

Bosch Fawstin is the creator of Pigman, the jihadist’s worst nightmare, who wears pigskin leather to exploit the enemy’s pigotry. To see Pigman’s 1st appearance in print, check out ProPiganda: Drawing the Line Against Jihad.

I see. We can expect that with each jihadi defeat at the hands of Pigman, local villagers freed of their oppression will rush out to embrace their porky hero.

UPDATE!!!

In comments J— informs us that the put-upon natives of Islamistan have another reason to love Pigman: he too worships the god of Ibrahim.

Fifteen Paragraphs, Eighteen Sentences

Mike "Gamecock" Devine howls:

America may never be able to re-pay the national debt to foreign bondholders that the ObamaDems’ stimulus and budget bills promise to incur and certainly we will never be able to re-pay the ultimate sacrifices so many Americans have made that we honor on this and every Memorial Day.

Okay, caught your breath? One more:

Yet, surely the fallen didn’t die for self-government that would find representatives like Senator Barack Obama voting to grant the Treasury unfettered power to squander $750 billion last September and a President Obama and Speaker Nancy Pelosi tripling the national debt built up during the past 194 years in the next ten.

Okay, got that? MORE!

Surely those that died in the efforts that led to the capture of those whose squealings saved Los Angeles after 911, without harming one hair on the heads of prominent perpetrators of 911, didn’t fall so that those that defined interrogations down could be disbarred.

I wonder if Dr. Sanity could come up with a diagnosis here.

Etymology

Who destroyed the word "hero"? Jimmy Carter, that's who.

He Must Have Done Something Disgraceful

Troubled With Thick-Coming Fancies

Dr. Sanity attempts a soliloquy:

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG?
To blog, or not to blog: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outraged leftys,
Or to take arms against a sea of insanities,
And by opposing cure them?

You may peek over there for the full version. Or not. Very soon after the contemplation of noble suffering:

It must give pause: there's the psychosis
That makes virtue of victimhood;

It's a wonder she isn't recasting the advice of Polonius.

Did You See This Guy?

Well?



I feel like I've been wasting my life on this eyebrow business.

Also, I AM ENRAGED ALREADY!

ATTACKS!

Over at Big Hollywood, AN ALERT!



Oh dear, what could those attacks consist of? Angry grannies dabbing her straight to the emergency room? Supervillains unleashing swarms of carnivorous eyebrowpillars on her? CREED SHREDDING?

It seems that a tabloid picked up some gossip about Carrie Prejean's mom - something that tabloids never do to anyone else who's famous - and the link at Big Hollywood goes straight to ABC which ran with it which is something else that never happened before.

OMG this never happened before either:

Asking For It

So: we have a former VP and opposition party committed to torturing people. They'll do it again if they can, and they loudly trumpet to the world that they'll do it (although it used to be treason to admit such things and emboldened the whatsit and so forth).

The more the monsters parade their depravity the more obvious a political win prosecution becomes.

Granny Evolution: Trippy

This is possibly the greatest blog post since Gutenberg invented TypePad.

Civilized Disagreement

Ha ha, silly buggers and their arguments.



Hmm, news from the same page suggest there are no winners in this fight:

Al Gore: Genocidal Maniac

Andrew Klavan:

Jennifer discovers that Keanu [in The Day the Earth Stood Still] is sort of a spaceman Al Gore - like Al Gore himself - on an enlightened mission to save the earth from pollution. How is he going to accomplish that? Why, by destroying the human race that causes all the mess, of course. That’s right. He’s going to murder every man, woman and child so the trees won’t die. And he’s the good guy!

I do not recall such genocidal plans on the part of Al Gore, but if he has them I'm going to bet that they would be implemented with an eye towards efficiency and cost-effectiveness. Also:

In real life, from the banning of DDT* that left the third world to the mercy of malaria through to Al Gore’s current assault on our economy in the name of an hysterical nonsense, the environmental movement has been very dangerous stuff.

Indeed one can scarcely imagine the breathtaking toll on the economy that unfettered capitalism environmentalism has wrought.

*Take note, dummy.

UPDATE!
I'm just like Dr. Mengele!

Shorter Burt Prelutsky*

*Or "I took a silly picture."

Lectures

Yes we lecture you. Lesson 1: don't waterboard the guests.

Okay, that has little to do with her column, in which she complains that LEFTISTS RUINED COMMENCEMENTS! So let's try again.

If the point is "We're allowed to be dicks!" then, uh, I get the whole waterboarding deal.

Ha, I'm being silly.

Anyway:

It seems that a lot of Notre Dame students are offended by some Catholics’ decision to protest Barack Obama’s commencement speech on Sunday. In the weeks leading up to Obama’s visit, students sold T-shirts with a message for the protestors: “Please don’t ruin my graduation.”

Fair enough. But I have to ask, what are they so upset about?

Thinking cap ENGAGED. My guess is they were worried about a ruined graduation.

If the commencement speaker doesn’t tell them exactly what they want to hear (or has political views to the right of Karl Marx), liberal narcissists respond with self-serving, disruptive protests.

Michael Parenti's always booked. The first example of Liberal Commencement Perfidy:

A Georgetown professor later admitted that “...Cardinal [Francis Arinze]'s remarks were in line with Catholic doctrine and are exactly what he's paid to say.” Regardless, faculty members chose to ruin the ceremony by stomping off the stage in the middle of the speech. (Several students followed.)

So it appears that the faculty of a Catholic university just does not believe all that Catholic bullshit anyway. A strange example to use. Next:

In 2006, faculty and students at the New School wore armbands to protest the graduation speech by John McCain. Then, after taking fifteen minutes to tell the audience how great she was (“If there's one thing that I know about myself, it is that I care for people, and in that sense I have a great deal of character”), the class-elected speaker verbally attacked McCain onstage during the ceremony. The speaker proudly told reporters that her goal was to make McCain “look like an idiot.”

Some time following this speech, a broad bipartisan consensus formed around the idea that John McCain is an idiot. I look forward to the Palin memoir. On to #3:

Liberal students responded with a weeks-long tantrum, demanding that Washington University rescind the honor and ban Schlafly from graduation. When administrators refused to give in to their demands, hundreds of students stood up and turned their backs to the stage during the ceremony. (The always-feisty Schlafly responded by calling the protestors “a bunch of losers.”)

Well so much for the civility argument.*

Example four on Ashley's complaint list hasn't really happened yet, and it turned out Obama did really well taking on right-wing kooks, so uh, yes, this outrageous something-or-other in Bizarro World leads me to conclude that liberals really really zzzzzzzz.....

*The best Phyllis Schlafly quote there could ever be:

When will American men learn how to stand up to the nagging by the intolerant, uncivil feminists whose sport is to humiliate men?

HARCOURT FENTON MUDD GET UP OFF THAT COUCH AND STOP GETTING NAGGED!

Stagger Around the World

Global Zombies (A Lesson in Cultural Assumptions):

Albanian		teveqel (dolt, dull, dummy, fool, foolish, imbecile, innocent, noodle, simpleton, zany), mumje (mummy). (various references)
Arabic		‏ميت أعيد الى الحياة, ‏غيبوبة (coma, shock, stupefaction, stupor), ‏الزومبية شراب مسكر. (various references)
Bulgarian		съживен с магия мъртвец, глупак (bird brained, blinker, boeotian, bonehead, boob, booby, calf, chuckle-head, clod, clot, coot, dodo, dotterel, driveler, dummy, fathead, flat, fool, gaby, gawk, goof, goon, gowk, greenhorn, gull, hammerhead, jackass, jobbernowl, lack-brain, lame brain, leather-head, lunkhead, muggins, mutt, mutton head, ninny, nitwit, noddy, noodle, numskull, nutter, oaf, pudding-head, pumpkin-head, sap, sap-head, schmo, schnook, sheep's head, silly, simp, simple, simpleton, spoon, stupe, stupid, thickhead, tomfool, twit, witling, wittol, zany), вид коктейл (old fashioned, sidecar, stinger), новобранец (boot, inductee, raw recruit, recruit, rookie, yard bird), автомат (automat, automation, machine gun, robot, submachine gun, tommy gun), дървеняк (ape, ape-man, bumpkin, loon, lubber, lubber-head, lug, lummox, numskull, pudding-head). (various references)
Chinese		蛇神. (various references)
Czech		tupec (blockhead, dullard), moula (drip, goon, mug), mátoha, chodící mrtvola, živá mrtvola. (various references)
French		zombi, mort vivant. (various references)
German		Zombie. (various references)
Greek		βρυκόλακασ (vampire), ζωντανόσ νεκρόσ. (various references)
Hebrew		מת קם לתחי�", פולחן �"פיתון, א�"ם ר�"ום חסר מרץ, �'ופ�" מת�"לכת. (various references)
Hungarian		reaktivált ember. (various references)
Indonesian		orang bebal (dunce, zombi), mayat hidup. (various references)
Italian		zombie. (various references)
Japanese Kanji		ソ連 (Russia, Soviet Union, tar, target, term, terminal, terminal building, terminal care, terminator, turban, turbine, turbo, turbocharger, turquoise, zone, Zoroaster). (various references)
Japanese Katakana		ゾン�" . (various references)
Manx		corp fo ghruiaghtys. (various references)
Pig Latin		ombiezay
Portuguese		zumbi, morto-vivo. (various references)
Romanian		prost (ass, bad, badly, beef-witted, blinkard, blockhead, blunt, booby, calf, cheap, clumsy, cock eyed, common, dead, dolt, doltish, donkey, dull, dullard, dumb, dunce, dunderhead, flat, fool, foolish, good for nothing, goof, goon, goose, Goosey, gull, harmful, idiot, idiotish, inhospitable, lousy, lubber-head, miserable, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, nitwitted, noddy, noodle, numskull, numskulled, oaf, oafish, pin head, poor, poorly, silly, simple, simpleton, snipe, soft, soft-headed, sorry, spoony, stupid, thoughtless, unfavorable, unfavourable, wretched), nãtâng (blockhead, clumsy, dead from the neck, Dotty, driveller, duffer, dummy, dunce, fat-head, feather-brained, foolish, noddy, silly, tomfool, wet), fantomã (apparition, Bogle, chimera, fetch, ghost, phantasm, phantom, shade, shadow, spectre, spook, wraith). (various references)
Russian		зомби (zombies). (various references)
Serbo-Croatian		zombi, oživljeni leš, natprirodna sila, bog zmija. (various references)
Spanish		zombi, autómata (automaton, robot). (various references)
Swedish		gengångare (ghost, spectre). (various references)
Thai		เทพเจ้างูในแอฟริกาตะวันตกและหมู่เกาะแถบอินเ�"ียตะวันตก, อำนาจเหนือธรรมชาติที่ทำให้ศพกลา�, อำนาจเหนือธรรมชาติที่ทำให้ศพกลับมามีชีวิตอีกครั้ง, ซากศพที่ถูกทำให้มีชีวิตขึ้นมาอีกครั้ง. (various references)
Turkish		zombi (zombi), yaşayan ölü, yılan tanrı. (various references)
Ukrainian		чудило (case), тупак (numskull), новобранець (boot, conscript, freshman, recruit, rookie), зомбі, перевертень. (various references)

Can't Tell the Players Without a Program of Torture

Humbert Humbert:

Of course I know that most Somalis are not terrorists. Some Somalis are terrorists, though, and we have utterly no way of distinguishing them from the others. So let's play safe and keep 'em all out. Again, I don't see what's wrong with this.

I agree that you don't see what's wrong with this.

In fact, I think our public discourse has come to a sorry pass when I even have to say the things I just said.

Do tell.