Sunday, September 23, 2012

Slumming in Time

Best of Craigslist:

Time Travel


Date: 2010-09-24, 10:09AM MDT


I have a functioning time machine (i know it sounds unbelievable, but I assure you it works) that I need a 2nd person to operate with me.
I'm looking for someone who is adventurous and reliable. Preferable a male; or a female that can do heavy lifting.
I am leaving on September 30th, 2010, in the morning and plan to return October 2nd, 2010. I am going to June 1983 to handle some business.
If you are serious about time travel and are reliable, then please contact me. You do not have to pay anything, but you would have to provide someone to watch my cat for the time we are gone. The only qualifications needed are that you are reliable and that the circumferance of your head is no more than 64cm.

We will be leaving from Bozeman, MT. Let me know if you want to go with me.
Bozeman?

14 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

The only qualifications needed are that you are reliable and that the circumferance of your head is no more than 64cm

SOCLOSE!!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

If he's got a time machine, why does he need someone to watch his cat?

vacuumslayer said...

Because zombies might eat it? Duh.

ckc (not kc) said...

...let's hope he doesn't get one of those wimpy light-lifting males

Smut Clyde said...

Spoiler alert.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

no, see, can't he just come back right after he leaves? Heck, if he cleans the poop box and puts out food, kitteh probably won't even notice he's gone....

Smut Clyde said...

Reviewed here.

Brendan Keefe said...

Man, I just love the circumference limit.

Speaking as one of cranially grotesque, I mean.

But will Bill O'Reilly call him a pinhead?

mikey said...

They're all around us - once time travel is invented, no matter when that is, it will ALWAYS have existed.

I've got a big chunk of Hadrosaur pelvis in my sock drawer that has a .375 H&H Magnum slug embedded in it.

Now how do you suppose that happens?

Can you say "Cretaceous hunting trip"?

Smut Clyde said...

Man, I just love the circumference limit.

"64 cm" is only going to exclude, I dunno, 0.01% of the population. Even by my thick-skulled Danish standards, that's enormous.

el manquécito said...

I was reading something recently and came across hadrosaurs, couldn't help but think of mikey. Evidently they were quite common, widespread even, and you could hardly fire off your H&H without hitting one (how many lesser saurs, giant tree ferns and 2 meter dragonflies would that magnum have to go through before it came to rest in that pelvis?).

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hit a T-Rex in the tail and you might be in trouble.
~

vacuumslayer said...

Well, you don't have to worry about his grabbing you.

Substance McGravitas said...

Still: Bozeman?

If I had a time machine I'd invent Latveria.