Friday, September 14, 2012

Living in Hell



Over here is a list of aphorisms submitted by a whole bunch of people who have nothing better to do. It's in the nature of such a page that kooks "improve" upon whatever folk nonsense they've heard, mangling it and adding ALL CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! as they see fit, or simply coming up with their own hopeful motivational-poster wisdom. Then of course there are other people who begin never-ending projects using those brain-droppings and those people are Noble and their projects are Uniformly WONDERFUL!!!

He who is not a sugar substitute to himself doesn't know himself.
He who is not a freak to himself doesn't know himself.
Nobody can make you feel abnormal without your queen.
The bean is out there.
No president can make you feel x-rated without your shot.
Nobody can make you feel egocentric without your thing.
It's not what we prick that shows us up, it's what we don't prick.
It's not what we offend that shows us up, it's what we don't offend.
It's not what we rub that shows us up, it's what we don't rub.
The great-aunt is out there.
It's not what we terminate that shows us up, it's what we don't terminate.
The spider is out there.
Harry Truman can make you feel wasteful without your metaphor.
Congresses are signs of God's work.
Nobody can make you feel ugly without your mink.
Nobody can make you feel ecstatic without your moron.
Ray Charles can make you feel bashful without your specialist.
It's not what we whip that shows us up, it's what we don't whip.
Nobody can make you feel guilty without your terrorist.
The rabbi is out there.

Current JanusNode is 3.14.

10 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

No president can make you feel x-rated without your MONEY shot.

needed fixxoring.

vacuumslayer said...

Nuh-uh. The rabbi is calling from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

fish said...

I have to admit, I really like:

If you can't cut off the serpent's head, cut off a large section of its tail.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I learned it from you!!!
~

Anonymous said...

Hello, I simply wanted to take time to make a comment and say I have really enjoyed reading your site.

Substance McGravitas said...

There's no love like anonymous love.

vacuumslayer said...

"Anonymous" on craigslist will totally jo-bro with you.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hooray! I've always wanted to jack off and touch penises with someone who is also not gay at all!

M. Bouffant said...

But, what don't we whip?

M. Bouffant said...

And now that I notice the music, BRUSH W/ CELEBRITY GREATNESS!

I've seen Falling James (in full drag) at various events w/in just the last few yrs.