Thursday, July 5, 2012

Two Posts About Extra Attention

One:
That would have been it. I rendered some aid and when I was assured that everything was OK I bought the other helper a diet coke and left. “Would have”. But then I posted it on G+. For my six friends to read. And that could have been it. Could have.

But through a friend’s repost the post was picked up by Wil Wheaton. And that wasn’t it.

Since then my phone hasn’t stopped ringing.

First with reshares and comments. Then with phone calls.

Why? Because – ignorant and completely callous to the Wheaton Effect – I alluded to something in my post. The sign of a local megachurch whose followers are rabidly anti-immigrant and whose radio program spends more time demeaning immigrants than preaching the Gospel.
Two:
Several commenters mistook my use of the microwave as the way all Americans heat water and clucked their tongues in disapproval. I’m happy to report to any of those who’ve returned to the site that I’m quite atypical in this regard. The standard American way to heat water is to take a pot of water out to our pickup truck, open the hood (what the Brits call a “spanner”), and lock the pot onto the engine block using a set of latches readily available at any Wal-Mart. Then we drive around at high speed, reciting the Gospels and firing our shotguns out the window. After reading the Gospel of John for three minutes and sixteen seconds, the water is ready. I hope this puts to rest any confusion.

10 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I suspected that G+ was evil.

That was your point, correct?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

I don't know if I have a point other than having a whole bunch of people barge in on what you think are relatively private thoughts makes confusing things happen.

In that sense maybe G+ is good because it's preset to wall off your stuff.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

PRIVATE THOUGHTS ARE UN-AMERICAN.


Thunder will tell you.

Smut Clyde said...

Having thoughts about your privates is UN-BRITISH.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

PRIVATE THOUGHTS ARE UN-AMERICAN.

They lead to corporal punishment.
~

J— said...

I thought a spanner was a wrench.

El Manquecito said...

Yeah, he grabbed the wrong Britism. I think he meant 'lorry' or 'jumper'.

Smut Clyde said...

It's the BONNET.
From your actual French meaning "very small bon".

El Manquecito said...

Smut wants a good boot.

Substance McGravitas said...

So so tyred.