Tuesday, October 25, 2011

No, I Say the Mormon Will Get Us the Other Planets

Michael Moriarty's Book of Revelations:
Despite the vaunted, “nuanced” thinking among Harvard graduates, the final goal of a Marxist New World Order is simple mathematics: the Obama Nation’s goal demands the “fundamental transformation” of the Declaration of Independence, the American Constitution and the United States itself:

“Gestating infants are not created equal!

Many can and, in some cases, must be aborted!”

The Progressive New World Order, the American Autumn and the Arab Spring were everything our Founding Fathers tried to prevent with America’s founding documents. However, what can The Founding Fathers possibly do with a Runaway America?!

It is now up to Herman Cain to bring America home. Perhaps it is predestined that a child of American slavery should perform that seemingly impossible feat.

No other Republican candidates can do it. They are actually not American enough.

Herman Cain, by God, is American to the deepest sense of that word’s charismatic meaning. Obama Care belongs to not only a different continent but an entirely New World Order.

The only “New World” I’ll ever recognize happened when explorers confirmed that a new continent called America even existed. The only new worlds we should expect to build are on other planets.

Amidst God’s other stars.

27 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

1 + 1 = eleventeen, people!

JOIN TEH DOTS.
~

wiley said...

My. My. My. There. There. I'm going to make a couple of phone calls. When the cab gets here, you and I need to get in the cab to go some place with a very relaxing and stress-free environment. O.K.? That's a good boy. Just sit there quietly and wrap yourself up in that blanket. O.K.? After I finish making these phone calls, I'll rub your belly and coo until you feel at ease, then you and me will go to the quiet place.

vacuumslayer said...

Yikes. No one should have to rub Michael Moriarty's tummy. Thorazine milkshake--STAT.

mikey said...

I thought the offer was to rub Substance's tummy.

And what about MY tummy, god dammit?

I think those of us who have known me over the last few years are clearly aware that I am not wrapped too tight, and it might behoove us all if I had some tummy rubbing.

Dammit...

vacuumslayer said...

I have no problem at all with someone rubbing a Subby tummy. Or a mikey tummy. But a Moriarty tummy? That's just sick.

Another Kiwi said...

The boy ain't right, ma.

Substance McGravitas said...

The thing about rubbing tummies is that sometimes there's an alien in it and it bursts out and kills everybody on your spaceship.

wiley said...

Rubbing Moriarty's tummy is too sick to contemplate at length. That's why I only fantasized about it briefly. I have been talking crazy people and people in a crazy rage down since I was a kid. I'm very good at it. Having and uncle who is a paranoid schizophrenic with multiple personalities and PTSD from his hellish childhood and two combat tours in Viet Nam as a helicopter machine gunner is very instructive.

Oddly enough, when the crazy uncle was lucid he was gentle as a baby bird. At my stepfather's funeral, he was the only person I could have a pleasant conversation with.

During one psychotic episode, however, it took five very strong people to get him to the hospital, plus those five people and some medical staff to get the Thorazine into him. He wanted to be a jockey at one time, and was small enough to be one. There was speculation that on top of the enormous amount of adrenaline that a psychotic person can pump out, that he was on PCP as well.

I wouldn't rub Moriarty's tummy out of affection---it would just be a matter of doing whatever was necessary to get him calmly to the hospital so somebody could give him that shot of Thorazine to make it easier to shove him into straight-jacket.

wiley said...

I forgot to add that I'd be happy to rub any of youse's bellies-es just because you are you.

Anonymous said...

Good thing they don't know where you live, Wile.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The Progressive New World Order, the American Autumn and the Arab Spring were everything our Founding Fathers tried to prevent with America’s founding documents.

Yeah, the Founding Fathers would be appalled at the prospects of a revolution!

It is now up to Herman Cain to bring America home.

If he doesn't bring America home in 30 minutes or less, your soda is free.

vacuumslayer said...

The thing about rubbing tummies is that sometimes there's an alien in it and it bursts out and kills everybody on your spaceship.

I hate it when that happens. First you're all like, "Here...doesn't that feel better? Let me fetch you some Ginger Ale." Then it's "OMG! THIS ALIEN IS EATING MY FACE OFF!!!"

tigris said...

While it is a shame to ignore the fetal protection clause and force women to abort, it's even worse to pretend liberals have a right to assemble and petition the government. Thank goodness each liberal will only be worth 3/5 of a conservative IN SPACE, just like our founding documents demand.

Smut Clyde said...

"OMG! THIS ALIEN IS EATING MY FACE OFF!!!"

Kissing: Not clear on the concept.

vacuumslayer said...

Those tummy-bursting aliens are bad kissers, I'll grant you that.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Wow. It's like there's something in America's water.

Smut Clyde said...

The thing about rubbing tummies is that sometimes there's an alien in it and it bursts out and kills everybody on your spaceship.

"Isn't he sweet. Let's call him Pookie."

vacuumslayer said...

BANNED!!!

vacuumslayer said...

*scours the internet to find more horrible fonts to lay at Smut's door*

Substance McGravitas said...

I have a great idea for the letter A.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Something for Substance's creative juices.
~

vacuumslayer said...

WHAT THE FUCK?

That is disturbing to an almost goatse-like degree.

Substance McGravitas said...

That's gotta be modern.

Smut Clyde said...

That is disturbing to an almost goatse-like degree.

I have no more need for a toothbrush for my colon than I do for a poohstick for my mouth.

If you have teeth there then DOIN IT RONG.

wiley said...

I get it that some people are scatological, but who would think, "MMMM! Celery! It's like a cartoon character scrubbing your asshole and lower intestine with a tooth brush!"? Different strokes I guess.

Malacylpse said...

I'm pretty sure that the quote "Ribbed for Xtra Pleasure" is proof it is fake.

wiley said...

Oh. Gullible me. You know that joke where someone points to your shirt and then taps you on the nose when you look down? I once fell for it two times in a row. I credit it to the head injury I got during the Slip-and-Slide tragedy.

Now I haz a sad. I go 'way.