Friday, October 7, 2011

The Dog (Also the Gerbil)

A dog is an idiot's sort of a pet,
The middle is smelly and both ends are wet.
They gnaw on your sweater and stockings and shoes,
And it's YOU who has to go gather their poos.



UPDATE!

ckc (not kc) said...

...does this mean you don't want to see a picture of my cute gerbil?


Gerbils will kill you AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY.

The owners of gerbils are instantly smitten,
But that is before they are constantly bitten
And gnawed from the ribcage straight through to the heart:
It's a gerbil's audition for Brown Jenkin's part.

15 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Why do I only have one stocking? I may not be rich, but I can afford TWO STOCKINGS. They may only go up mid-thigh, but STILL.

Substance McGravitas said...

Fucking dog chewed up all the consonants. Give me a sec.

vacuumslayer said...

No, I liked it. It made me think of maybe a modern Eliza Doolittle-type young woman who dressed in a whimsical way and wore colorful mismatched tights.

w/v is hetoxic. Yes, sometimes being straight is a huge bummer.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You sank my doggyship!
~

ckc (not kc) said...

...does this mean you don't want to see a picture of my cute gerbil?

vacuumslayer said...

Where has it been?

Anonymous said...

She flirtingly taunted that he was canine,
For making her blush with a quote underlined,
With images forceful and manly methinks,
To her anyway: he missed the links.

So he pettily conjured a picture of DOG,
And made it slowly dissolve on his blog,
Airing his arch superiority,
For visitors of the site to see.

But lest they wonder at the beast forsaken,
The dog, not myself, she hastened to mention,
Know that Substance has wrecked his chance,
Of getting inside a nice lassie's pants!

Substance McGravitas said...

I knew I shoulda picked the kitten!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

And it's YOU who has to go gather their poos.

Actually, you don't HAVE to.

I knew I shoulda picked the kitten!

kittens grow on trees?

Substance McGravitas said...

Pussy willows, DUH.

vacuumslayer said...

I just have to interject here that Intertron flirting is HARD. Luckily, there are all sorts of words for cats, which can really get the ball rolling.

Substance McGravitas said...

Gee, the IWarp filter in the GIMP generates some easy animation...

Smut Clyde said...

kittens grow on trees?

I cannot find the Kliban "tails / harvest" cartoon but it is out there.

fish said...

TAKEBAKO is BACKO!!!

Beaverton Vet Clinic said...

We love to take care of gerbils, they are amazing creatures:-)