Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Se7en

John Hawkins has a list (!!!) of seven differences between conservatives and liberals:
1) Conservatives are more patriotic than liberals.
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2) It's socially acceptable for liberals to lie about conservatives.
3) Conservatives are results-oriented. Liberals are not.
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4) Conservatives care about the Constitution. Liberals don't.
5) Liberals are much more misogynistic than conservatives.
6) Conservatives are happier people than liberals.
7) Conservatives are better Christians than liberals.

22 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Also, conservatives are fatter than libs, 'cause conservatives have jobs & can afford to eat & eat & eat & eat. Neener.

Kathleen said...

also conservatives are much much stupider.

no I don't have a joke.

Brendan said...

Awesome.

There is no other word, and I only wish it would be saved for posts like this.

Jennifer said...

Damn. And I thought I was going to get through one day without my head exploding. I haven't even finished my first cup of coffee and... BOOM!

vacuumslayer said...

Thank you for this.

BTW, I think the part about conservatives being happier than liberals is likely absolutely true. I think it's easier to be happy when you're delusional and view the world through the eyes of a child.

Also too, I don't think conservatives are evil. I think they're stupid AND evil. It's a rough combination.

Substance McGravitas said...

Hawkins has some links that he thinks prove conservatives are happier. Maybe he's right; I'm pretty sure W is a happier guy than I am. I don't see what that has to do with whether someone should be allowed to march army men around.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

8. Conservatives are better at doing numbered lists than liberals.

9. Conservatives don't have cooties, but liberals are heavily cootie infected.

vacuumslayer said...

I think that conservatives see "being happier" as a sign that they are inherently superior, but as you pointed out, I don't think being happier makes you any more capable. In fact, I'd say that if you're happy in the face of all the things that should you make you unhappy, that probably means you're stupid.

So, yeah, I absolutely believe conservatives are happier than liberals.

vacuumslayer said...

And I totally cop to being cooties-infected.

fish said...

Where is the Hillary Nutcracker?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

whoah. 3 vacuumslayer comments without a mention of bewbies.

AND a D-K W comment without a mention of my mom.

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS, PEOPLE!!!

vacuumslayer said...

I confine my boobs to my blog. I wouldn't bring them over here to Sub's. It's not that kind of joint.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

0. John Hawkins.
~

vacuumslayer said...

Speaking of boobs...I bet he's got some knockas!!!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

BTW, I think the part about conservatives being happier than liberals is likely absolutely true.

I don't think so, they're always mad at something, usually the wrong thing.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I don't think so, they're always mad at something, usually the wrong thing.

but they're HAPPY when they poutraging.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

pretend the grammar in that comment worked.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

AND a D-K W comment without a mention of my mom.

Something something something, your mom. Uh, I mean:

10. Conservatives are respectful of motherhood while liberals are not.

vacuumslayer said...

"I don't think so, they're always mad at something, usually the wrong thing.

but they're HAPPY when they poutraging.

January 27, 2011 11:47 AM"

True, plus I don't think they feel the weight of the world on them like us moody, broody libs do.

Substance McGravitas said...

That Hillary nutcracker is pretty bad. But obviously IT WAS THE OBAMABOTS!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

And dude if your grammar worked she wouldn't have to suck cock to pay for the nursing home.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

And dude if your grammar worked she wouldn't have to suck cock to pay for the nursing home.

that made the rum come out my nose.

Which increased the speed of alcohol delivery into my system, so WELL PLAYED SIR!!