Monday, January 3, 2011

The Can of Worms

Shorter Charles Jacobs:
Why aren't Jews everywhere conspiring to raise kids who will defend Israel right or wrong?
The article is exceptionally odd and requires genius-level unpacking both to appreciate what it is and, you know, not be a total dick about it. Surely that Someone is Mr. Else, but look at the title of the thing:
Jewish Malware: Why is World Jewry So Bad at Defending Itself?
That starts off kinda David Dukey and then gets... I dunno. Nicer? Ickier?
The dynamic is something akin to the virus that flummoxes Iran’s computers. Jews may be susceptible to a particular type of rhetorical virus, so devastating that once implanted it prevents them from acting in their own self-defense and turns otherwise eloquent people into stuttering blockheads. The worm is simple, and ancient. It’s called “accusation.”

Accuse the Jews. Accuse them unfairly and with such disproportionate frequency that anyone who wishes to can see there’s an agenda at work that has little to do with the actual charges raised. Accuse the Jews and they instinctively, like moths fly to candles, start believing they can cleverly explain themselves, and convince their accusers of their innocence and their goodness.
Apparently, what you use to battle against accusations that there is an agenda at work among World Jewry is for World Jewry to have a Working Agenda. I guess that the "agenda at work" in sentence two paragraph two might be the agenda of the accusers, but if "anyone who wishes to can see" I'd hope the accusers were then outed as bigots, right?
Instead of explaining to our students the dynamic of “accusation” that has been used to hobble Jews from time immemorial, we teach them to sit in the dock. Instead of exploring with them just how Israel is under a massive ideological assault which masquerades as legitimate criticism, we teach them to keep the focus of discourse on Jewish conduct, Israeli behavior, which is exactly what our adversaries want. Instead of turning our fingers back on the tyrannical Arab/Muslim world whose criticism of Israel defines chutzpah, we answer its charges.
"Jewish conduct"="Israeli behaviour": um, wouldn't I be a total shitheel to propose that?

10 comments:

Hamish Mack said...

"Instead of turning our fingers back on the tyrannical Arab/Muslim world "

Cripes Ahmed, they are turning their fingers back on us!!!"
"Flee, my brothers fleee!!!"

Substance McGravitas said...

Rather than construct an argument, the better tactic is to say YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD YOU'RE BAD.

Dan Coyle said...

I look at rants like these and this of this exchange:

BART: Do you even HAVE a job anymore?
HOMER: I think it's pretty OBVIOUS that I DON'T.

guitarist manqué said...

Whatever level of genius type un-packing is necessary I recommend that you be more of a dick about it. So that I don't have to.

Is the Can of Worms part of the Diet of Worms?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Accuse them unfairly and with such disproportionate frequency that anyone who wishes to can see there’s an agenda at work that has little to do with the actual charges raised.

I look forward to his inevitable "Gay Agenda" column.

WV-hauntess... a she-spectre

Substance McGravitas said...

I mean, what is this guy on?

Hamish Mack said...

A mission from Gawd?

Kathleen said...

Is the Can of Worms part of the Diet of Worms?

I don't know, but I recall an instruction manual from my youth about cooking them in oil.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I, for one, do not need to see moths fly into candles in order to be convinced of their innocence and their goodness.
~

Smut Clyde said...

The principle of action and reaction predicts that the candles are also moving in the direction of the moths, though the motion is smaller because of the greater mass.