Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Theories

This is gonna bug me:
Nancy Pelosi told CNN last night that Newt Gingrich would definitely not become president, whether he was the GOP nominee or not.

“He’s not going to be president of the United States,” Pelosi said. “That’s not going to happen. Let me just make my prediction and stand by it. It isn’t going to happen.”

Asked why she was so certain by CNN host John King, Pelosi said, “There’s something I know,” but did not elaborate on what she was referring to.
What could it be?

The ongoing importance of presidential blowjobs.

38 comments:

Susan of Texas said...

Maybe he cheated on his wife? Sold his influence? Repelled everyone with his abrasiveness and egotism?

Actually I can't think of any reason why the right would reject him as nominee beside the fact that Romney is prettier.

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe he blew Bill Clinton.

Susan of Texas said...

And why does my new (used) computer let me publish comments here but not in alicublog's js-kit? My opportunities to be witty/bitchy have been chopped off at the knees.

Susan of Texas said...

Well, there you go. I never thought of that. Bill did like them pudgy.

Substance McGravitas said...

And why does my new (used) computer let me publish comments here but not in alicublog's js-kit?

Using any weird extensions or preferences that cut off javascript?

Susan of Texas said...

I have no idea. The computer showed up at my desk like an abandoned baby. I think my old one is being used in the family business now. Or it was aborted because liberals are in the white house.

Substance McGravitas said...

Find yourself a fresh browser if you're allowed to install one; Firefox or Chrome or Opera or Safari will do, and give that one a shot. They all start up with generic preferences that allow for stupid js-kit to work.

Susan of Texas said...

I was afraid of that. Oh well, at least the kiddies will now have to stop laughing at me for using IE.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

How about because JS-Kit blows Pig Newton while he's blowing Bill Clinton?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

I was afraid of that. Oh well, at least the kiddies will now have to stop laughing at me for using IE.

The most recent iterations of IE have a lot of things blocked because Windows is so goddamned stupid, and it might not be worth the hassle of going through the preferences to figure out what to tweak.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I have Chrome, Firefox, and Internet Exploder as browsers, just because I have three different emails I like them logged into.

1) Chrome
2) Firefox (also has a nice screengrab add-on, as long as you don't upgrayd past version 3.6.25 or so)
3) Internet Exploder
~

Mrs. Krabotsky, yes THE Mrs. Krabotsky said...

So, Newton, maybe you should have been more concerned about getting your library books back on time. Bwahahahaah!

Susan of Texas said...

I switched to Chrome and still can't post. It is the will of the gods.

Susan of Texas said...

Solved! There was an unfortunate incident with Compatability setting for which I am definitely not to blame, although I actually am.

Substance McGravitas said...

Excellent!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

In general, fish is to blame, Susan.
~

Susan of Texas said...

I always wanted a scapegoat, but I"ll settle for a scapefish.

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh god, that compatibility setting is irritating and I'm glad I didn't know about it.

vacuumslayer said...

Blackmail pictures. That's all I'm going to say.


But how great would it be if it were true? Although the prospect of seeing Newt in a compromising position does give me a little pause.

Substance McGravitas said...

If he did blow Clinton, you could rest assured that it was a blowjob in conformance with True Conservative Principles.

vacuumslayer said...

So, stingy and ineffective?

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe ravenously greedy.

Susan of Texas said...

And no spilling of the seed.

fish said...

I always wanted a scapegoat, but I"ll settle for a scapefish.

I have taken on the burdens of mankind.

Substance McGravitas said...

Y'know I still have a fish on crutches from Smut around somewhere that I have to use.

What wonderful sentences I get to write.

Susan of Texas said...

I have taken on the burdens of mankind.

You're just carping.

Substance McGravitas said...

A commenter could be GILLED for less.

fish said...

You're just carping.

Well maybe, but I've been up and down the pike a few times.

fish said...

Shut up Smut.

WV thinks I'm fatendr

vacuumslayer said...

fish, I really admire how you've kept your sense of humor since being crucified. I don't think I could get over something like that so easily.

vacuumslayer said...

Shut up Smut.

WV thinks I'm fatendr



fish got back.

fish said...

I didn't let it spoil my poisson de vivre.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The Passion of the Poisson.
~

Smut Clyde said...

One man's meat is another man's poisson.

W/v = "befin", really.

Smut Clyde said...

Mrs. Krabotsky, yes THE Mrs. Krabotsky

I accuse Another Kiwi of making Bloom County references.

Another Kiwi said...

See, there you go, assuming I know stuff! Well I don't! Hah! I've never even been to Bloomers country

mikey said...

I'll just stop by for a moment to mention that the friendly folks at google have created "Chrome Canary" and placed it in the dev channel.

It is specifically designed to run side by side with chrome so you can have BOTH google accounts open at the same time.

Just google "chrome canary", download and enjoy.

fish said...

Canary in a chrome mine.