These Aren't the Jokes We're Looking For

Reliable bonehead Christian Toto:

The only thing more painful than hearing someone explain a joke is listening to the teller defend said joke.

The newest Entertainment Weekly lets frequent Golden Globes host Ricky Gervais do just, and it was as awkward and self-serving as you might fear.

Gervais, the star of “The Office” and a loud and proud athiest, used a guest column in EW [link not available] to defend himself against charges he’s a cruel, vindictive joke slinger. You’d think an edgy comic would revel in such a reputation, especially since all those mean jokes didn’t prevent him from securing yet another Globes hosting gig this Sunday.

There is a good chance that I may never touch an issue of Entertainment Weekly in my life, so tell me, person named after a cute little doggie and a sucker, why is this article by Ricky Gervais so awful?

Gervais says he “tends to explore contentious and taboo subjects,” one reason why so many people are offended by his act. “I like to take the audience to places they haven’t been before,” he boasts. But will his Sunday shtick really be so cutting edge? Will he dare poke fun at the current occupant in the White House? Will he mock those who wish to strike words out of the English language?

Doubtful.

That's right, the column is awful because of jokes he may not make in a few days. You know who else sucks? Christian Toto because he is afraid to make a joke about Christians and how dumb they are IN TWO WEEKS.

Also about people named Christian and how dumb they are in perhaps TWO AND ONE-HALF WEEKS or thereabouts. AND JOKES ABOUT THEIR LITTLE DOGS TOO.

Why would Gervais even bother to pen such a column? Is he responding to a culture in which saying the “wrong” joke can send a comic to humor purgatory or a GLAAD re-education camp?

YES, yes he is, and the GLAAD re-education camp is full-to-bursting with comedy genius Rush Limbaugh and the GLAAD Re-Education Camp II will soon accommodate the others.

Oh wait, let me use my new-found Google Sketchup skillz to illustrate both the "humor purgatory" and the "GLAAD re-education camp" AT THE SAME TIME:



Thank god for the metric template.

Or is it a preemptive strike against a real doozy of a monologue coming our way this weekend?

I don't know! IS IT??? HOW WILL WE FIND OUT? Maybe ask Brent Bozell a few weeks ago? Where is that time machine?

QUITE POSSIBLY RELATED:

This is not too far removed from Yakety Sax: