Sunday, January 8, 2012

Cattle

Fairly standard dialogue with a fairly standard ending:
The Lovely Daughter: What's a monastery?
Me: A place where monks live.
TLD: What's a monk?
Me: A monk is a guy who just does religious stuff all the time with other religious guys.
TLD: I'm gonna be a monk.
Me: You have to be a boy to be a monk. You might be a nun if you're Catholic.
TLD: I'm gonna be a priest.
Me: If you're Catholic you can't be a girl and be a priest. They won't let you. Plus you have to believe in god. Do you believe in god?
TLD: No.
Me: Me neither. But you pretty much have to believe in god to be a priest. And be a boy.
TLD: I'm gonna be a priest in a new religion. The cow religion.
Me: Oh, okay.
TLD: And we're gonna have a cow temple and people are gonna come in and say the cow prayers out of the cow prayer book.
Me: What's the cow prayer gonna be?
TLD: Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo [etc.]
Okay, The Lovely Daughter has nailed organized religion, but the important thing here is that I am led to think that a book consisting solely of "moo" would be an excellent project, as littler kids seem to love that shit and if you just deliver the "moo" differently on each page the kid is entertained and the parent might be doing something stupid and silly enough to be entertained as well. So, cow out in a field mooing: moo moo moo. Cow on a tree-branch mooing: moo moo moo. Ghost cow: mooooooooooOOOOOOOoooooooo. Cow stage forward near a show-card reading Beeflet: "Moo moo, moo MOO moo moo." And so on.

8 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Cow wearing a beret and smoking a Gauloise...
~

ckc (not kc) said...

...you could throw in the odd "meh!"

El Manquécito said...

I think buddhists spell it "mu".

vacuumslayer said...

I would like the record to show that I love all Lovely Daughter posts. They are always so funny and awesome.

fish said...

I think you should write a serious novel instead. James Joyce (or maybe Jack Torrance) would approve.

Sirius Lunacy said...

Where's my cattle?
It's alway a good idea to make sure the cattle are unarmed.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

PLUS 10 for Sirius' song.
~

Smut Clyde said...

I think buddhists spell it "mu".

Does a cow have buddha-nature?