Friday, September 9, 2011

The Clod of the Gaps

Need inspiring words? The New York Post provides:
Richard Mgrdechian is an engineer, a problem-solver by nature. The problem, as he saw it: There weren’t any patriotic, pro-America hard rock bands.
Sadly, that function was largely outsourced to Canadians at that time.* Back to the Mgrhdfashjklafsdhlkj story:
Mgrdechian, 45, was a high school senior growing up in Bayside, Queens when “Born in the USA” hit. He loved the album cover — the blue jeans, the flag. He loved the title. He even loved the song — at first. “It definitely grabbed me right away because the music and chorus were so powerful and direct,” says Mgrdechian from his Midtown office. “I just assumed it was the ultimate pro-American song.”
But ass we all know, when you assume you make an ASS of U and in this case nobody else, pretty much just U.
Mgrdechian, who considers Reagan “infinitely inspiring,” says that when he thought some more about “Born in the USA,” he “realized how vile it really was. The whole thing was all about ingratitude and failure — ‘You end up like a dog that’s been beat too much’ . . . ‘Sent me off to Vietnam to go and kill the yellow man.’ What type of lines are those?”
Seriously! What work of great art has ever featured a guy who had a bad time and was cranky about it? The answer is NONE WORKS OF ART. So once you have the AWESOMEST WORDS about the AWESOMEST COUNTRY lined up - imagine what those might be! - what sound should best represent the AWESOMEST MESSAGE DELIVERABLE?
A heavy sound that fits into the Stone Temple Pilots/Creed spectrum seems to portend a lot of gigs at military bases and NASCAR tailgates, the kind of crowds Mgrdechian sees as his target audience as he builds Madison Rising on his own indie label.
These people are just monsters.



PELICAN A AIR AM AROUND BADGER BRICK CAT CLAM CUZ DED DOOD DRAG DRINKED DUST EATED FORGOT FUNNY GET GOO HA I IF IT ITS JOKE KIN SHREDS MAH MAKE MUSTASH NO NOO NOW ON OOPS POO POOP POOPS POST SMART TEH TELL U WONT WURDZ RATE FOR
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ


*Seriously, check out the lyrics and tell me they're not a conservative wet-dream. Just ask Aryan.

UPDATE!

The hateful mood demands non-stop playing of this again:



Two straight hours so far.

21 comments:

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Or maybe we could lend them Nickelback.

Wait. I actually listened to teh Madison Rising song. OMFG, I can't believe that I'm going to apologize to Chad Kroeger.

M. Bouffant said...

Did you feel it?

Substance McGravitas said...

Nope.

M. Bouffant said...

Bummer. And no tsunami threat, either. (A reckoning will come 'though.)

Not impressed w/ two hrs. if the tune is 13+ mins.; not like you have to re-press play every two mins.

Very impressed w/ the disc, however.

Substance McGravitas said...

It's really Manky I'm listening to, that first sludgy thing with the swastika. In iTunes, over and over again. Started at around 10am. Still going.

M. Bouffant said...

We're in a bad mood too. Hate hate hate!

Think we liked the second part better, but we weren't paying too much attention. (No wonder Nirvana sucked, if the Melvins were a big inspiration.) Speed it up, kids!

Substance McGravitas said...

Manky is a peppy one.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I just heard...
~

vacuumslayer said...

Stone Temple Pilots is all like, "Hey, leave us the fuck out of this."

LOL.

I know what I'll be doing for the rest of my evening.

vacuumslayer said...

Also, you're funny when you're in a hateful mood. More hate, please!

vacuumslayer said...

Oh, poop. Well, I'll ahem myself. Sorry, DK-W.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You know who else ahemmed theirself?

That's right...
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

If he's so patriotic, why can't "needs more vowels" man join the soldiers of America?

Typical Chairborne Ranger.

mikey said...

If he's so patriotic, why can't "needs more vowels" man join the soldiers of America?

Y'know, it continues to amaze me that people keep asking this question. Now pay attention, I'm gonna 'splain it to you once more.

1. They make you get up early and do exercises and run
2. The Drill Instructor is mean and hollers at you.
3. Just hanging around with the guys, it's all roughhousing and fighting - nobody wants to talk about Obama and socialism.
4. They send you to a foreign country where very serious, angry local fellows shoot LIVE FUCKING AMMUNITION at you

I mean, what part of this are you really struggling with?

vacuumslayer said...

Chairborne Ranger.


*YOINK!* Stolen.

Smut Clyde said...

Richard Mgrdechian is an engineer, a problem-solver by nature. The problem, as he saw it

The great thing about this construction -- from the viewpoint of a lazy journalist* -- is that you can replace the 5th word with most any occupation without making it any more or less true.

* Redundant, I know.

J— said...

Lead and Rhythm Guitar – Alex Bodnar: In 2006 Alex became musical director and guitar player for a promo tour with RBD, a Grammy nominated music group. In 2008, he joined forces with Creed frontman Scott Stapp for his second solo effort. As part of the Scott Stapp Band…

Wow, work with RBD followed bya stint with the Scott Stapp Band. It doesn't get any better than that.

Don't miss the About page. It reads like the pro-American professor from Long Beach decided to take a break from professing and try rocking and making big bucks in an election year.

J— said...

Part of the Madison Rising marketing campaign: Big Hollywood profile. Comments there that aren't fully laudatory are always fun.

Mgrdechian wrote a book. Travis G. spotted him.

Substance McGravitas said...

Gee, Ron Saint Germain? Hope he charged them a bunch.

Smut Clyde said...

The S.N! thread at J--'s link contains the following antiprophetic comment:

The Crapture said,
September 28, 2006 at 1:44
Well. she may not have Charlotte Church to look up to any more, but Michelle will always be able to count on Prussian Blue


How I laughed.

Mendacious D said...

And no tsunami threat, either.

Disappointed?

WV: requia. OMINOUS.