Friday, September 16, 2011

Apologies to Winlock and Vogon Poets

Erik Loomis unintentionally reminded me that I stopped in Winlock a while ago, a miserable little town that I feel guilty about poking fun at, especially since everyone I met there there was very nice, helpful, and accommodating. 3, 2, 1... Guilt's over!

Sing to me of Winlock's charms,
The SPACE FOR LEASE at NorthEast First,
The chirping of the car alarms,
The Coffee Bus with chicken cursed.

The thrift stores sell the choicest bits
Of what your neighbour sold at last,
You may now find him ogling tits,
As Jell-O Wrestling's not yet passed.

But hold! We see a festival!
Where queens shine bright as if in nova!
Perhaps they'll play some Esquivel,
At this carnival of ova.

Coronations at schools high,
Parading soon so don't be late,
Free egg sandwiches to try,
For the not-yet satiate.

And what's this reaching to the sky?
A monument to salmonella?
You know that egg's just not that big
To a certain sort of fella.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

My baby does the Pysanka Yanka...

Substance McGravitas said...

Well now I feel a little better about how terrible my Winlock poem is.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

I feel kinda bad about teh fact that I am so gonna steal this line: 3, 2, 1... Guilt's over!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I'm here to help, Mister McGravitas.

Jennifer said...

I love Esquivel! He puts a smile on my face, every time. I was hoping you had chosen, Miniskirt, though...

vacuumslayer said...

But look at the awesome Photoshop filter they used on that Egg Days poster.

M. Bouffant said...

What is this abortion Gurgle Bugger™ has foisted on us if we click on a pic, rather than "open in new window/tab?"

Substance McGravitas said...

That's shitty. As a didcated middle-clicker I didn't notice it.

M. Bouffant said...

Oh, not so much an abortion, now that my aging/distracted peepers see the X-in-a-box close button.

WVerif: "hydro"

Site-specific, eh?

Substance McGravitas said...

Dedicated I swear.

M. Bouffant said...

Yeah, I didn't notice it at my mess either, but I'm starting to like it, w/ the thumbnails & all.

I assume "middle-clicker" is some silly Mac thing.

M. Bouffant said...


Smut Clyde said...

"Egg Day" poster is typeset in Papyrus so I hate it already.

Substance McGravitas said...

Middle-click is the scroll wheel click, and I usually have it set to open things in a new tab.

You're a Chrome user so I don't know if there are good equivalents, but the extensions Linky and Tab Mix Plus are indispensable to internet use for me.

vacuumslayer said...


That is so unlike you. Stop letting me hang around here. Clearly I'm a bad influence.