Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Funnyman Greg Gutfeld plugs his new laff-riot book:
The Joy of Hate focuses on the hypocrisy of modern tolerance — that it thinly disguises a growing, acceptable intolerance for the things that made America super-awesome. The origin of this phony intolerance springs from one source: the desire to be cool. Everything done in life these days springs from a fear of dorkiness. I called this "dorkophobia," and every time you use it, I get three dollars. Despite the fact that it’s the uncool who make the trains run on time, it's the cool to get the cred.
Consigned to the ranks of the uncool ONCE AGAIN:

The definition of cool: mass popularity without much achievement.
Looking for cool? GO NO FURTHER:

It's how Obama got elected. Ask anyone who voted for him, "Why did you do it?" and the convoluted, wide-eyed answer will ultimately be translated into: "He's cool and that other guy wasn't." The media pushed this to the hilt; and much of the public bought it; giving stuff away is cool — especially when it's others people stuff — and perceived as philanthropic.
Following the "it's always projection" rule here creates a sad sad picture of a sad sad man...so let's let this Painter of Right fill in the details:
So what is perceived as cool, when it's really the opposite?

- Bureaucrats spawned in teacher's lounges chiseling at your income, to the cheers of a pliant media
I read about that in Vice!
- Creating dependency as a romantic lifestyle, independent of achievement
- Ridiculing women, minorities, and gays who reject the culture of dependency
- Fake work that doesn't require building, moving or doing things. In 2008, a community organizer beat a war hero who spent years in a prison camp. Apparently that's cool.
- Movements that reject American values in favor of American guilt (Occupy)
- Anti-Americanism as a needy appeasement to our international adversaries
- Hero worship of celebrities based on artificial edginess (Johnny Depp is not really a pirate)
That, friends, is comedic clarity on the order of Cal Thomas after a blood transfusion. There's more of course, but I'm tired of this and there are other things to do. So:
Why aren't conservatives cool? Why are they perceived as intolerant when it's the other side who are truly the hateful ones? It's a fair question.
It's true! They are the tolerant ones! Whether you're slaveholder or slave a conservative will LEAVE YOU ALONE.

27 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

MAS: "Every time you use it I get three dollars'
Bullshit: all the rest.

tigris said...

the things that made America super-awesome

Three cheers for genocide, plunder, and self-aggrandizement!

Dan Coyle said...

Why do I get the feeling Greg Gutfeld knows the concept of dependency intimately?

Substance McGravitas said...

Is it all just kinkiness?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Why do I get the feeling Greg Gutfeld knows the concept of dependency intimately

I guarantee you that he knows it better than the concept of comedy.

Another Kiwi said...

In fact he has a negative knowledge of comedy in that his mere presence can suck the humour out of any situation.

Substance McGravitas said...

I am now wondering if he avoided dorkiness and demonstrated his cool or if he embraced dorkiness and demonstrated his cool.

Because he must be cool, right? RIGHT?

Smut Clyde said...

the hypocrisy of modern tolerance
Back in Marcuse territory! The Telos of Tolerance is Truth!

Smut Clyde said...

Bureaucrats spawned in teacher's lounges chiseling at your income

Who is this single teacher who owns multiple lounges? How does he or she ever manage to relax in those lounges, what with all the spawning of bureaucrats and the sculpting of incomes?
People criticise teachers as if they have an easy job but they never think of stressful factors like this.

Substance McGravitas said...

Shush. The cool thing to do is complain about teachers. Unless you think your kid deserves better treatment, in which case it's totally uncool.

mikey said...

Fake work that doesn't require building, moving or doing things...

Hey, c'mon now. Selling Collaterized Debt Obligations with built-in time bombs to rich rubes with too much money and not enough places to put it is hard work!

Substance McGravitas said...

Call me crazy, but I think he's trying to say Mitt Romney's not cool.

fish said...

Wait, Johnny Depp isn't really a pirate?

Substance McGravitas said...

Let me tell you: before Johnny Depp was in a hit Disney movie based on an amusement-park ride, he was uncool to those snobby liberals.

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

OK, so I wanted to comment earlier, but this is just so replete with failure, it's hard for me to know where to begin.

I may have to an entry about it. Yes. Stealing blog content from you.

Substance McGravitas said...

You can steal anything from here. Touch the collection of old cables and wires that I never use and you're DEAD!

Dr.KennethNoisewater said...

*touches* HA HA HA!! You can't stop me!

Substance McGravitas said...

Oh thanks. Now I have to go through each one to determine which one was touched.

mikey said...

Oh, I think we already know which ones are touched...

tigris said...

The ones with bunny ears on them?

Another Kiwi said...

Eeeeew touching subby's cabling. Someone is gonna be a cootie city.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Now I am imagining a goatse-themed cable organizer.

Smut Clyde said...

Fake work that doesn't require building, moving or doing things. In 2008, a community organizer beat a war hero who spent years in a prison camp.

Apparently "being imprisoned" counts as one of those "building, moving or doing things" activities, which is good news for the incarceration industry.

M. Bouffant said...

Yeah, big fucking hero, who would have saved his plane & his sorry ass if he'd pulled out according to the mission parameters or guidelines or whatever term of art they used in those days, instead of making himself a big fat target.

People wishing to mock Gutfeld are referred to this item.

M. Bouffant said...

The ones with bunny ears on them?
Exactly.

Substance McGravitas said...

I think "hero" is one of those euphemisms Gutfeld says is so uncool.

Smut Clyde said...

Used in the Encyclopedia Dramatica sense, it has to be "an hero".