Mr. Padoodoohead

Shorter Andrew Klavan:

Toy Story 3 told me Obama was fucked.

Mr. Klavan is ripe for this sort of thing:

Geek News

OpenOffice FORKING.

Test drive here.

Name Flopping

Here is the whole of a Jay Nordlinger post at The Corner:

Ted Sorensen
November 1, 2010 3:35 P.M.
By Jay Nordlinger

The famed speechwriter and politico passed away yesterday. I talked to him once, on the phone. Wanted to confirm something. Mainly, I wanted the chance to talk to him. I had read that, whenever he was asked whether he had written Kennedy’s inaugural address, he answered, “Ask not.” When I quoted that to him, he sort of winced, verbally: “Yes, I said that, but just once: only once.” He was embarrassed about it. (Even though he had admitted nothing, about the speech.) He was of the school of not telling — not telling what you wrote.

I’m glad I made contact with him, even if it was just a phone conversation. A big figure in our political life.

Well done gramps. Wait, not telling what again?

Wikipedia Wags

Check out this informative map of states that recognize Transnistria:



Transnitria in red, states recognizing Transnistria in green.

The Big Tent

Hi Dan Riehl! What have you got for us?

Liberals Hate the First Amendment

No doubt, no doubt. Let's see who these liberals are:

Progressive Republican Lisa Murkowski has forced a Right-leaning talk radio host off the air in Alaska, simply because he disagrees with her. Yet, she is attempting to portray her opponent, Joe Miller, as seeking to do the very thing of which she is guilty.

Well, that's one liberal. Any more liberals hating the first amendment?

Meanwhile, Comedy Cenrtral has embraced the misguided and repugnant notion that it can control the media, even on public property. That instinct isn’t only illiberal, it’s un-American. Thanks to new media it will not work.

Any more? No? Okay, all done. Your hatey-hatin' liberals for today are a Republican senator and a television executive. That last guy in this long long long list of two liberals is even accused of doing something ILLIBERAL, which is DOUBLE-REVERSE-UPSIDE-DOWN WORSE than BEING LIBERAL.

I hope THE LEFT is ashamed.

Happy Hallowe'en

Inevitability

Here is a hit:



Here is the unavoidable result:

Today's Busy Readers

The Christian Science Monitor:

We're collecting 140-character book reviews – perfect for today's busy readers.

140 character books are the better idea.

You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's "If on a winter's night a traveller." It's a real adventure! Tricky too! All finished now.

Cryptozoology

A theory:

The legend of the ferocious chupacabra, or goat sucker, has circulated around Central America since the 1990s. But the supernatural chimeric beast -- described by some as half dog, half bat -- may just be a coyote suffering from mange, says entomologist Barry OConnor of the University of Michigan.

The potential here is that the sasquatch is really just a mangy hippie.

Interest, Newsletter, Etc.

Orly Taitz wins a major award! Okay, not a major award, she's the OC Weekly's 2010 Bob Dornan Scary OC Hall of Fame Inductee.

SqueekyFromm:

Because I am very vocal, plus it only takes one good Obot-fighting Birther to beat off a herd of you OBOTS!

Squeeky now has her own blog. Check out the crocodile poem. And note the presence of follower Dan Lacey.

The Vagina Analogues

Tracey Emin:

She said: 'In respect of the emergence of forgeries on the market I'm seriously concerned that the forgeries and fakes are damaging to myself as well as collectors and investors in my work.

'From my perspective inferior artworks produced in my name damaged my reputation and credibility as an artist.

'My artwork is deeply personal and comes from my heart. It hurts and distresses me to see these fakes and forgeries that have no regard, respect or understanding of what I do.

'With a view to others, I'm upset and distressed to think people have been conned.'

It's distressing that some forger might fabricate some deeply personal object using Tracey Emin's name without being her deeply personal employee. Investors beware! Will I next be forced to doubt exactly who and what has been in Tracey Emin's vagina?

Head-Stomping? Child's Play.

Canadians LOVE kicking children in the face!

Voters have elected Sam Katz to his third term as Winnipeg's mayor.

The Final Cock-Block

Sporting news:

A giant red stag, thought to have been the biggest wild land animal in the UK, has been shot dead.

The creature, named the Exmoor Emperor, weighed more than 135kg (300lb) and stood nearly 2.75m (9ft) tall. It was killed in the middle of the annual rut.

[...]

The Exmoor Emperor was given its name by photographer Richard Austin, who said he was not surprised at the shooting.

He said: "With a set of antlers that this deer had, it was going to kill him in the end.

"Growing that big and that huge and that magnificent, he was a definite target."

It has always surprised me that nobody has bothered to shoot Mount Everest.

The Search for the Weapons of Mass Democracy

Kevin D. Rumsfeld:

There is no voter fraud. The conclusion does not follow from the evidence. It is entirely possible that there is lots of voter fraud and that the DOJ did not prosecute much of it from 2002–05. There are lots of things the DOJ is not very good at. For instance, the DOJ does not bring a lot of convictions for terrorism crimes; does that mean there is no terrorism and no terrorism threat? Or does it mean that the government is more focused on disrupting terrorism plots than on getting convictions? Or does it mean that terror suspects are getting convicted of lots of non-terrorism crimes instead?

Ha ha, the fact is, Kevin D. Williamson is not a stupid asshole because he has an example. Let us not doubt the gravity of the problem:



As the Zone 5 Commissioner for Daytona Beach is responsible for making The Troops Nuke Terrorists With Tax Policy I am glad someone is on the case.

Elitists

A Psychoanalyst* Attempting to Understand Our World:

Let us assume that approximately 20% of the most gifted High School graduates are accepted into an elite school; that means 80% are not going to Harvard, Yale, Stanford, MIT, etc. Many of them are going into the US Military; many go into business; many go to State Schools and second tier colleges. The upshot is that there are far more people who are the intellectual equals to those who matriculate at the elite schools than there are, in fact, in those schools. Further, as noted by [Charles] Murray**, the limited experiences of the elites who are voluntarily estranged from the average American (how does one maintain one's status as a member in good standing in the elites if one goes to a NASCAR race or enjoys hunting or fishing?) means that they lack what is known among the non-illuminati as common sense. If you haven't ever run a business it is not only supremely arrogant, but also fails the test of common sense, to imagine you can tell businessmen how to run their businesses; such humility is more easily learned outside of the Ivy Leagues.

Arrogance is never a becoming attitude; when those who are arrogant base it on successfully passing through a filter which has minimal relevance for the real world, retribution by the hoi polloi who resent their betters can only be a matter of time. The original Tea Partiers of 1773 were not deterred by the knowledge that the Mother Country was the repository of elegance, charm, and manners that the rubes of the New World could never share. In a world in which the ability to actually succeed at creating value is only partially related to the ability to amass the entrance requirements for Harvard, the loss of that necessary differentiation by our elites has caused them to sacrifice their authority and relevance. We do not need Harvard Social Scientists to tell us how to live our lives; most of us know better what is good for us.

Below, a social scientist from Yale who also went to Harvard:



*Good god! A psychoanalyst is somewhat almost sometimes a social scientist!
**Good god! Another Ivy League BA in History! Also an MIT grad!

Enthusiasm!

Tris Hussey:

So today’s TEDx event was focused on education, a topic near and dear to me because am, after all, and educator as well. Not only do I write books, but I teach as well. In fact, next Saturday (next week), I’ll be right back at UBC Robson Square to teach my Building Websites with WordPress class. Fitting then that I would be at my first TED experience, which focused on education, in the very place where I educate others.

Gee, I hope pipefitting instructors have the sense of mission that this gentleman does. The next set of cubicle drones is in good hands.

A Tale of Two Posts On the Same Goddamned Page

OMG ROB REINER YOU STUPID ASSHOLE YOU CALLED TEH TEA PARTY HITLER!!!

The fact is, all Muslims are Nazis.

Alasdair Gray

Alasdair Gray has made his mark as a writer - you should buy Poor Things or Unlikely Stories, Mostly - but he's getting some attention for his equally odd art.

A story of his artistic life.

A gallery and explanation of some of his paintings.

What Happens When You Waste Your Mana Conjuring Food

The lovely daughter's local high school:

A gang of angry online video game players tracked their trash-talking opponent to his Vancouver high school and broke the teenager's fingers, police say.

The teenager, a student at Eric Hamber Secondary School, was confronted during lunch hour and beaten because he had been playing an online strategy game with a group of friends who were beating their opponents and lording it over the losers, police said.

Four or five assailants made him kiss their feet before hitting him with batons, breaking his fingers.

Give Us Your Poor, Your Tired, Your Muddled Asses

Welcome kooks!

Actor Randy Quaid and his wife have told an immigration hearing in Vancouver they need asylum in Canada to escape from "Hollywood star whackers."

We got Michael Moriarty already and he needs a pal.

Reason to Panic

Via one of those reliable English papers:

Aircraft crashes after crocodile on board escapes and sparks panic
A small airliner crashed into a house, killing a British pilot and 19 others after a crocodile smuggled into the aircraft in a sports bag escaped and started a panic.

If the pilots had been equipped with their own crocodiles this disaster could have been averted.

If you are seated beside the gentleman below RUN RUN RUN to Fox News and collect millions.

I Laughed

I think Jon Stewart's a great guy with good taste and a quick mind and makes jokes that I would love to be making... I just dislike the mugging and yelling and HEY IT'S A JOKE RIGHT HERE I AM TELLING! I confess that I do not watch The Daily Show, not even in little video clips on the net because most of those don't play here in the outer reaches of North America.

But anyway, liberated from his face and his voice Jon Stewart is absolutely hilarious.

Women Are Leeches

Veronique de Rugy:

It would benefit women if you took away their benefits.

Let's actually quote a portion of it:

Also, government benefits tend to make people dependent, which is too bad considering how long women have fought for their independence. The example I use is the one of Social Security: Women depend on Social Security more than men. Based on Social Security data, almost 29 percent of women over age 65 rely on Social Security for at least 90 percent of their retirement income. That number increases to 46 percent for unmarried elderly women. These women are particularly vulnerable to changes in government policies. At any time, Congress can reduce benefits even for people who have paid into the system their entire lives. In a sense, it did that earlier this month by saying that Social Security recipients won’t get a cost-of-living increase this year.

The reality is that the benefits these women are receiving from Social Security and are counting on receiving in the future are not a sure thing. If fact, we should all prepare for the likelihood that they will be reduced. Starting in 2014, the system will run a deficit, and the trust fund will run dry in 2037. Benefit cuts seem inevitable. Women stand to lose the most.

I have been getting a lot of very negative e-mails just for suggesting that women would be better off breaking their dependence on government payouts. As expected, I have been accused of wanting to put older women on a cat-food diet.

What a baseless accusation to make of someone who wants to make 90-year-old women more independent by not giving them money.

Duke to Nuts

Everyone loves Jimmy McMillan! There's nothing like a good kook to make politics entertaining although it's a pity that many go on to actually hold office, and with more pernicious agendas.

But what, in the eyes of a different kook, is Jimmy McMillan's most endearing feature?

That's right, gentle reader, he's a fan of Ronald Reagan:

Still, there’s one politician McMillan admires: Ronald Reagan. The 40th president charmed audiences with his impeccable sense of humor, and McMillan tried to emulate his example last night. For instance, at one point he rhymed his answer: “There’s nowhere to go. Once again, why? You said it, ‘The rent is too damn high.’” The audience roared. “Once the other candidates heard that,” he says, “they were doomed.”

A sense of humor is the sharpest of political weapons and for McMillan, no one wielded it better than Reagan. “Obama has almost got it, but Ronald Reagan perfected it,” he says. “I love him to death.”

Attempts to appropriate rock and roll and Dr. Seuss make a kind of sense: they're really really good, if usually antithetical to hilarious social conservative boobs and bloodless libertarian maniacs alike. Jimmy McMillan though? HANDS OFF MY NUTS.

In Flight

It's Different There

I don't think anyone really understands how different it is in Pakistan.



Above is a file photo of disgraced Pakistani ministers who have not yet completed the dying process mandated by SHANIA LAW. It would help Anglo misreaders - always on the lookout for an uncharitable interpretation of Islam - if our fellow People of the Book called it the "colouring process" but YOU argue with the big-sword guy.

Lawsuit Not Work Right

I had no idea there were Officer Bubbles cartoons before this.

Bonus! A court filing below. In it we learn that YouTube commenters call


OFFICER

BUBBLES

an

ASSHOLE.

More stuff I did not know!

Officer-Bubbles Statement of Claim

For What?

History:

One hundred years ago to the day, a crew of six men and a cat left New Jersey in the first-ever attempt to cross the Atlantic in a powered flying machine.

[...]

The America flew out of Atlantic City on 15 October, 1910, after weeks of build-up and speculation over whether she would ever leave the ground.

[...]

The crew's first crisis was a howling protest from their good luck mascot, a cat named Kiddo.

Chief Engineer Mervin Vaniman stuffed Kiddo into a bag and attempted to lower it onto the motor launch following the airship. But the boat was too far behind and the cat was pulled back up again.

Murray Simon wrote: "You must never cross the Atlantic in an airship without a cat - more useful to us than any barometer."

The Orb Menace Continues

Via LGM, some news we can use:

"Nobody was injured and I don't consider it an attack but it certainly it was a national security incident and something the Air Force said has never happen in their official policy documents," said Robert Salas, a former U.S. Air Force Nuclear Launch Officer.

Salas is speaking of a night in 1967, according to ABCNews.com, when he was on duty and
glowing red orbs
appeared outside the gates of the nuclear missile base. At the same time, the weapons were disabled. While the weapons were not damaged, he said it took a couple of days to rearm them.

There you have it: the government is hiding information about AGGRESSIVE COMMUNIST ORBS.