Thursday, July 7, 2011

Under Your Skin

A new threat Threat THREAT!!!
Al Qaeda operatives in Yemen recently discussed surgically implanting an explosive device under the skin of a suicide bomber to get past airport detectors and blow up a U.S.-bound passenger plane, a U.S. official said Wednesday.

There is no indication of an immediate plot, but the government has warned airlines, stepped up security at U.S. airports and encouraged other countries to adjust security measures.

The focus is mostly on international flights, but domestic passengers are likely to see more bomb-sniffing dogs and an increased use of swabs that test for traces of explosive material on hands and luggage.
Do the bomb-sniffing dogs have to gnaw through your flesh to get at the explosive device or something? Because there could be a downside to false positives.

14 comments:

mikey said...

Those wacky al Quaeda thinkers aren't thinking very far outside the box on this, are they?

Seems to me you could disolve a bunch of Semtex in a bunch of Halal Sailor Jerry's and give it to the next luck jihadi. The Semtex would be trapped in the liver and all the mad bomber would have to do once the plane was airborne would be to eat a buncha habaneros...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"hey, AQ #2. Watch me get them to believe we're going to plant bombs under our skin. I bet I can get them to force passengers to fly naked!"

"Yeah, this is way more fun than actually carrying out attacks. They still freak out, and we don't get blown up!"

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Oh My GAWD!

TERRA! TERRA! TERRA!

Please take away the rest of our civil liberties (and Social Security along with it), President Obama.

We aren't using them anyway...
~

Dusty,Hells most vocal Bitch said...

The TSA sure falls for this shit hook,line and sinker don't they? At least you can see the humor in it..my happy ass just gets pissed and wonders when all the fearmongering will friggin stop so the Ball n' Chain will quit worrying that they will show up at our house in the middle of the night and whisk me away to some unknown prison and waterboard me.

It's like when we were kids and we jerked out the intellectual kids relentlessly. Wait..thats not right,because the TSA is nothing more than a bunch of paranoid rubes...nevermind.

Substance McGravitas said...

GLASS EYES.

Get poking, officers.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

First a shoe bomb, then an erpants bomb. These plots probably did moar damage having failed.

Skin bomb is pretty good, but if terrarists really want to disrupt flying, they should pack a bomb into a functional iPhone.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Put a bomb in your butt.

Another Kiwi said...

I've heard that they are training AQ operatives to fly, so soon they won't need to go on planes anyway.
DHS is appointing Sally Field to be its new anti-terrornist aviation head.

Substance McGravitas said...

They've mastered down. Up is being worked on.

Mendacious D said...

GLASS EYES

Booby-traps.

fish said...

Too many people complaining about body scanning cancer patients and little kids. Got to shut that down ASAP.

Smut Clyde said...

Who knows what is concealed within my prosthetic testicle?

tigris said...

Who knows what evil lurks in the parts of men? THE SHADOW KNOWS!

Smut Clyde said...

tigris is BANNED.