Monday, February 21, 2011

Majority Rule

Mike "Gamecock" DeVine:
As Scarlett would say: “Tomorrow is another day.”

Tomorrow is when Americans that lose fair and square elections accept the will of their fellow citizens and wait for the next election to try and change matters to their liking. Americans don’t take to the streets en masse like the subjects of the latest Thugocracy in Venezuela.

At least most of us don’t.
Here's where we stretch things out before the punchline. You know, I actually and really and for true dreamed last night that I had a guest spot on Bill O'Reilly's show. I was supposed to talk about some piece of scandalous art and Phyllis Schlafly was supposed to be on too. I was there in a hotel room, got a limo to the studio, rode the elevator with all the employees, and somehow then managed to miss my time slot. So I wandered around the office looking for someone to apologize to - don't wanna get off that gravy train - and eventually I found Bill's office. His door was open and I was about to go in and folks were making signs not to. He was asleep in a ridiculous position, curled up in his chair almost sliding off his desk and snoring like a congested elephant. So I went to a lounge to wait for him to wake up and where a bunch of Foxy girls flirted with me or made fun and then when one started inspecting my body I woke up. I am ready to be the new Alan Colmes.

Oh, Mike "Gamecock" DeVine's tagline to every post he makes:
“One man with courage makes a majority.” - Andrew Jackson

19 comments:

fish said...

Americans don’t take to the streets en masse like the subjects of the latest Thugocracy in Venezuela.

At least most of us don’t.


You know, I really don't think these guys actually remember how a union gets its leverage.

Substance McGravitas said...

My understanding is that the ghost of Karl Marx spoke to Moses from a burning Bush effigy and ordered a union to be formed. Thank GOD Aaron saved the day when he built that idol to Mammon.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I had a dream in which packs of teatards were bussed into townhall meetings to shout down people who wanted to learn about Health Care Reform, something the president had campaigned on.

Note to self: Must not drink too much wormwood ale before bed.
~

vacuumslayer said...

I have a dream where I go into a crowd of protesting (or counter-protesting...they seem to be forever protesting) teatards, knock them down*, and stomp on their heads with my righteous boots. Sorry for the violent rhetoric.

*Those on Hoverounds, I will simply knock off their vehicles and steal them, because--I'm sorry--Hoverounds look like fun.

Another Kiwi said...

But it seems that before 21st Century partiers started drinking tea; before useful idiot Democrats realized that B. Hussein was not J. Fitzgerald; and while too many Republicans were content to be the deck-chair arrangers of the Welfare State, some interlopers lucky enough to be born into the Affluent Society decided to shift loyalties to “Brotherhoods” of blood-suckers off the taxed profits of people that actually produced wealth.
WTF!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

George Soros bought Cadillacs with his dirty immigrant welfare cheques and now he RUNS THE COUNTRY.

vacuumslayer said...

I want a do-over on my "thugocracy" comment. I misread what he wrote. Still think the teabaggers are thugs, though.

Substance McGravitas said...

You just erase those and I clean 'em up. Face-saving! Did it just today in fact with one of mine...

vacuumslayer said...

That's weird. The garbage icon does not show up on iPad.

Smut Clyde said...

“Brotherhoods” of blood-suckers
In a totally non-racist way.

I'm not sure where he's going with the "latest Thugocracy in Venezuela". How many "thugocracies" does he think it has had?

The best reconstruction I can make of his mental processes and assumptions is this: "Venezuela lacks a democratic tradition and strong political institutions and so so has been ruled by a cyclic series of forcibly imposed populist governments kept in place by street gangs until each one is toppled by the next populist government". It's consistent with his words, if not with actual Venezuelan history.

Substance McGravitas said...

I'm not sure where he's going with the "latest Thugocracy in Venezuela".

Maybe he's suggesting that there's a thugocracy here and that shooting people would improve things.

Another Kiwi said...

That bit about the Billo dream is pretty icky. I think that people should be mindful that their readers might well be eating while reading. Certainly at Riddled we attach a "eating Advisory" to posts that might be considered "strong gravy". Readers just have to make one payment each year for the advisory to emailed to them in cases when the post is possibly contentious. No emails? No worries!

Substance McGravitas said...

Rats, a majority has spoken.

TruculentandUnreliable said...

"the Muslin nation with ten nukes."

For real? Are we sure this isn't satire?

BTW, those guys who threw tea into the Boston Harbor? Totes uncivilized.I don't know why they felt the need to show their displeasure that way!

Shorter douchebag: Protest is only okay when *we* do it. Like anything else.

mikey said...

I had a dream where some men in brown jumpsuits came to the door. They said they were here for the sofa. I thought it odd, but I was eating salami and brie at the time so I said nothing.

The next day (in my dream) some men in brown jumpsuits came to the door. They said there were here for the towels and toilet paper. Dammit, I thought, but I was on the phone with dial-a-jew and when I asked what I should do, he said "say nothing".

Later that same day (still in the dream) some men came to the door in brown jumpsuits. They said they were here for my casually dressed monkey butler and my hadrosaur pelvis. The didn't count on my Mossberg Mariner™ with the extended magazine and folding stock and Zylon™ pistol grips fore and aft.

Heh. Guess you gotta know when you need to take your shit and go home...

Substance McGravitas said...

My fucking union left out the monkey butlers in the last benefits package.

fish said...

Fucking sellouts.

guitarist manqué said...

I was supposed to get a monkey butler last quarter but no, 'budget cuts' they said and I got a loris instead. Doesn't get into the mezcal as often as the monkeys but the service is really slow.

M. Bouffant said...

If you remember your dreams you are not drinking/doping enough!