Monday, February 16, 2009

The Wail of Disappointment

Mike Long:
Horror pictures have become an assembly-line operation. They rarely feature an original story and differ from each other only in the order in which they deploy the standard scary-movie tricks such as Loud Noise During Quiet Passage, Surprise Face In Mirror, Evil Child With Horrifying Prediction, and Creepy Image On Common Item.

There are young, will-work-for-cheap writers and directors out there who could have given Friday the 13th a surprising and engaging new direction.
Yes, they could totally have done that. Instead, THE REMAKE OF FRIDAY THE 13TH IS UNIMPRESSIVE.

UPDATE:

17 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

cutiegirlygrl28 (4 hours ago) Creed is the best band ever...its too bad they had to break up
=====================================
I gotcher horror picture right here, RB!
~

Righteous Bubba said...

You fuckin' quit it, you monster.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Five groupies beats a Full House!
*@(&*$&*!!!#
~

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

D00d it's just like Pammy.

You can watch in high quality!
~

Another Kiwi said...

Now that is good! I love the bit where he says "new hair".

herr doktor bimler said...

ITTDGA: bad person, or baddest person ever?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Ahem, Herr Doktor

OR SHOULD I JUST CALL YOU SMUT CLYDE?!11ONE!
~

J— said...

I was unaware of this fine internet tradition.

Paco de Lucía shreds!

Righteous Bubba said...

I think I saw the Yngwie Malmsteen one first, but Steve Vai shreds. Plus he has a stupid face.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Can't figure out how that Mike Long piece got on Big Ho without him adding something like "...and it's all the liberals' fault!" at the end.

Righteous Bubba said...

Big Hollywood is a serious site featuring serious criticism of naked-teens-chopped-to-pieces movies.

Rusty Shackleford said...

The Big Ho site has sucked me into explaining to the rabble why a particular Chris Muir cartoon isn't funny. Gah.

Righteous Bubba said...

I think the fun of it is that the talking points are simply assumed to be true and then aimed at trivia. The fun there seems largely harmless: it's better for them to be wasting time complaining about movies than engaging in real activism, which I suppose they don't do anyway.

clever pseudonym said...

That Big Hollywood site is turning out to be an incredible comedic goldmine.

Righteous Bubba said...

Mary Rosh is worried that there aren't enough jokes about Obama.

tigris said...

Needed more tiger: no one was shredded nearly enough.

Righteous Bubba said...

Alas, the shredding seems to have no permanent effect. YouTube is not yet compatible with VooDoo 3.6.