Parasites

O the incivility:

Khadir, who is a member of Quebec's national assembly (MNA) and co-leader of Quebec Solidaire, referred to the royals as "parasites" in an interview with the Journal de Québec newspaper.

"What a waste of public money. All this to welcome those parasites," Khadir is quoted as saying in the article.

A portion of the trip's cost will be covered by Quebec taxpayers.

Apparently some people think this remark is outrageous. Is there some other word he should have used?

Those Gays

Al Qaeda will kill you so dead you are dead
They'll rip off your scrotum and chop off your head
Then use your remains in three nights of buffets
But that won't compare to the rage of those gays.

Al Qaeda has guys who'll shake hands and explode
Then others who'll serve up your chunks a la mode
Still more are in orbit perfecting death rays
But what you have to fear is the threat of those gays.

Al Qaeda will rip all your limbs from their sockets
And then mount your torso on Katyusha rockets
And fire you at toddlers to hearty hoorays
Still I shiver to think of the acts of those gays.

Al Qaeda's new poison will curdle your guts
Then they'll use your dead carcass to poison your mutts
Then serve up those dead dogs as poisoned parfaits
Though that's mercy compared to the plans of those gays.

--

More versification.

Know Your Audience

Frank DeMartini:

‘Midnight in Paris’ Review: Self Indulgent and Anti-Conservative

The headline: pan or paean? Apparently the main character's fiance's parents are conservative, and fun is had at their expense, which has never happened in a movie before. But here is another reason not to like it:

There is not much more I can say without giving the major plot twist away. However, I will say that the majority of jokes and dialogue require the viewer to have a strong background in the material. Anything short of that will leave the viewer perplexed and completely out of touch with the plot. In fact, when I saw the film, there were many jokes where only about five people in the audience were laughing hysterically. The remainder of the sold-out crowd just didn’t get it.

This is where the elitism and self-indulgent nature of Woody Allen shines. If you are not part of the inside joke and well aware of the literary and artistic references throughout, you will be lost. And, this, unfortunately, will be what kills this film commercially. It will play very well in intellectual centers and areas where elitism shines. But the mass general public throughout the world will almost definitely never see it.

Yes, you have to KNOW STUFF to get the jokes. How much more elitist and anti-conservative can you get? NONE MORE CAN YOU GET. I might go so far as to say that this Woody Allen film - as opposed to the Woody Allen films in which it was advantageous to know absolutely nothing - is for BOOKISH NERDS. How long can he sustain his career after such a sharp turn away from his audience of processed-cheese-food-eating NASCAR-loving hicks?

Insect Lover's Pizza

These are not the New Zealanders I know:

That's not sausage ... New Zealand man shocked when poisonous spider appears in pizza box

Adding this again because it's a great song. He seems REALLY SINCERE about the giant spiders.

The End of Factory Porn?

I've been waiting for this for a long time:

LOS ANGELES – Porn performers in California would be required to use condoms in sex scenes if draft rules from state workplace safety officials advance out of the proposal phase.

Cal/OSHA officials provided the Associated Press with a 17-page draft proposal that contained sometimes graphic details of the bodily fluids, waste matter and other materials that porn actors must protect themselves against to avoid infection.

It's been fairly insane that large employers could hire people to do stuff and thereby acquire diseases: it's stunt work. At the same time the basic behaviour - barring the insane spectacles - is what people do anyway, and people aren't going to stop filming that or selling the results. Maybe porn will wind up being made by people who like each other...or are at least in some codified relationship for the purposes of evading OSHA rules.

On the other hand there's a disgusting science fiction story in porn producers being the money behind a drive for polygamy, with the result that you literally marry into the business; might not be so bad as a retirement-via-divorce could have the performers wind up with some ongoing stipend instead of just the diseased naughty bits.

Music Corner

Exploring the results of public folder sharing in airports:

This is nice and all, but where's the new Lawrence Welk show to feature such bands?



Edie Brickell is influential I guess:



This takes until the fourth minute to justify itself...although I sure hope the kid and the relatives aren't horrible or this song will make her kill herself:



Here is a more irritating version of If I Had a Million Dollars:



I am not much of a Mountain Goats fan, but this is a sweet song about needs:



This is apparently for The People. As a people myself, NO THANK YOU.



HERE WE GO!

Torture Porn

Dig that groovy soundtrack.

Story.

The Louisiana Pancake Batfish

More new species to exterminate. I must put the leech to use somehow.

The Seven Kids

K-Lo:

Cultural conservatives tend to get smeared with being “anti-sex,” even afraid of it. (If so, I sometimes wonder where those seven kids came from.)

Those are PEZ dispensers and where did you hide the Snow White one? Also too the orderlies are requesting that you keep your gown tied.

(There's an Easter Egg of failure in her article. Can you find it?)

A Tale of Two Hollywoods

Shorter John Nolte, Editor-in-Chief of noted kook site Big Hollywood:

Larry Flynt is no free-speech hero: he just wants to make Trig jokes! Also he is a vile pornographer.

Shorter noted-kook Larry O'Connor, Editor-in-Chief of Breitbart.tv and contributor to Big Hollywood on the same goddamned day:

It is an awesome victory for free speech that our pal helped someone sue to make a gossip movie about Jennifer Lopez. Also this has nothing to do with an undoubtedly super-hot sex tape.

I am grateful or ungrateful to Dan Coyle in comments for pointing towards the fact that the "someone" wanting to make the gossip movie is the girlfriend of Lopez's ex.

German Horror Stories are Just Different

Thank you Google Translate:

Case Studies

Cat with disturbed sense of

Patient: Sheila, a tabby cat, two years old, not sterilized Living Conditions: Sheila was brought by a family from a shelter. Which has seen the cat before is not known. It was intended as a "gift" for the eight year old son. The mother of the son has an obsession with cleaning and handled with aggressive cleaning agents, it was about the cat hair so outraged that they Sheila for weeks into the bathroom locked. From a visitor Sheila was freed from this "prison" and came to cat lovers. Unfortunately, the animal was so distraught that it was found not to her new man was back and totally confused. Since the cat was chipped, it could be brought back to her family. Sheila repeats lost and did not return home. After many searches it was found. Once the new owners were in sight of the cat, she ran joyfully to their people and let carry. How was first contact the state? A customer whose sheep had been successfully treated, I gave my phone number next to the mother cat. Previously she was with a THP, the tried Bach flower remedies, to help the cat. Sheila was still not home. History: Sheila has been studied in detail. Here I use a company bioresonance Rayonex. The cat showed symptoms of poisoning. No wonder, since Sheila had to inhale the fumes for weeks of cleaning products in the bathroom. The investigation further revealed that the auditory center and the organ of balance were disturbed. This also explains the disorientation of the cat: the very good sense of direction of cats is also working with "these sonic. If a cat is not fine enough to hear more, they recognize their stored acoustic images and is not therefore no longer home. Therapy: The disorders of the ear treated with bio-resonance. To this end a special tax plan was created. This tax plan will include the harmonization of the seven main chakras. When treating the cat stretched comfortably on their mat and purred. There were two sessions of 90 minutes. In the second session (a week later) was already much interested Sheila and very lively. As long sessions only work if the correct frequencies are selected. Then the animals feel comfortable and fall asleep during treatment. Detoxification Lymphomyosot (from heel) was prescribed. Since cats do not tolerate alcohol, yes, vials were chosen, not injected, but were administered orally. The customer was instructed in the handling of the vials. Every day half a vial was administered. Initially, the feces of the cat very frothy reaction to the detoxification. After a week, could the cat be allowed outside again, she stayed only a short time out and came back each time. The days were getting longer in the open. After two weeks of the faeces was normal. Sheila can leave the house through the cat flap at any time, it is usually only two hours out there and always comes back. The customer is satisfied. Note: Those who work with bioresonance Rayonex of and interested in the special tax plan, may request to me. Natural Healing for Animals Dipl.-Ing. Ulrich Hannemann Sauer Home 29 91575 Windsbach Phone: 09871/65799-10

Attention Callista!

More Big Hollywood blather:

‘American Exposure’: Preserving Liberty On the Airwaves
by Janine Turner

If you build it, they will come.

I have been concerned about our Republic for years now. I have been bothered by the lack of true understanding about our Republic, and that included me! I read the Constitution again with my daughter during spring break a couple of years ago

Blah blah blah blah blah blah — wait, what's that author pic all about?



I am somehow compelled to investigate further...

Now obviously there's a fair bit of work going on there - I must admit to not looking the greatest before I make myself up in the morning -

but the evidence presented says PRESIDENTIAL MATERIAL. Particularly in the Republican primary. Callista: NO BOOKINGS FOR NEWT ON THE JANINE TURNER SHOW.

Works Best on Black I Think

The Wonders of the Free Market

Hooray for the Tories!

Defence Minister Peter MacKay visited Quebec's flood zone along the Richelieu River on Wednesday, as residents brace for a long cleanup, which they will have to do without any help from the military.

[..]

The Quebec government has released an exchange of letters with Ottawa, where Public Safety Minister Vic Toews said the military would not help with the cleanup.

Toews suggested that the military's role includes placing sandbags to protect property, but not picking up sandbags to clean up.

Toews also explained that the military should not stay behind because, if it performed any cleanup work, it would be competing with the private sector.

Now that flood victims have all that extra water they can just sell it to pay for water cleaner-uppers.

You Dreamed It, You Can't Undream It

Also Katy Perry soundtrack.

Callista Demons Love Dancing to Katy Perry

Okay, drag these boots down a little:







It totally works. You have to listen and watch. Plus she's CUTE!

UPONTHEDOWNSTROKEDATE!

Naturally theres a beats-per-minute calculator on the web to use for retiming Hitler's dance steps.

The Only Thing Worse Than Being Talked About NO WAIT SHUT UP

Hi there, One True Church!

The Dutch Catholic Church and the Salesian order are investigating revelations that a Salesian priest served on the board of a group that promotes pedophilia with the full knowledge of his boss.

The order's top official in the Netherlands, Delegate Herman Spronck, confirmed in a statement that the priest - identified by RTL Nieuws as 73-year-old "Father Van B." - served on the board of "Martijn," a group that campaigns to end the Dutch ban on adult-child sex.

The thing about Catholic priests is that they are advocates for justice in ALL spheres of life, no matter how young small the personal reward might be. I mean, what advantage could a PRIEST get from his role at Martijn? Vow of chastity, amirite?

What We Were Promised

This is awesome:

On the way out of office, Arnold gave silly exit interviews about how everyone expected him to be the “Governator” rather than just an ordinary governor. The expectations were just too high, he complained. But our memories aren’t that bad. We know that the promise of a “Governator” was what got him into office in the first place.

Here She Comes

Stolen from here and put through an extremely painful extrusion process which makes demons extra cranky. It's kind of like a rodeo thing.

We Girls Should Know Less

OMG K-Lo is upset about sex again!

The girls Salon dismissed, sisters Sydney and Tess Volanski — a soon-to-be high-school sophomore and freshman, respectively — left the Girl Scouts after eight years* because the organization’s current values — signaled by its ties to Planned Parenthood — clash with their own. And, yes, they set up a website about the Girl Scouts that is a little hat tip to their favorite singer: Its name, “Speak Now,” is the title of one of Swift’s songs.

[...]

Sydney tells me: “Many Girl Scouts are good, wholesome girls. The problem lies within the national organization’s leadership and its lack of adherence to its promise of neutrality.” She adds that girls often need and “should get help, but Planned Parenthood and abortion — what GSUSA is directing them to — are not help. Abortion has serious risks for women, including breast cancer, infertility, post-traumatic stress disorder, and suicide. Does this sound like help?”

Pregnancy: risk free and helpful in itself! Mind you, a more careful blogger would mention that Planned Parenthood provides a range of services that blah blah blah REPUBLICAN SMASH.

K-Lo doesn't much get into the fact that the girls are spouting horseshit. A look at the site the girls SET UP ALL BY THEMSELVES is suspiciously...well wait a minute, let me pick on K-Lo instead of a couple of kids and whoever wrote all that guff on their site.

The beginning of the rude awakening for Sydney and Tess was a graphic pamphlet produced by the International Planned Parenthood Federation, Healthy, Happy and Hot, which was reportedly distributed at the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts meeting last year.

Dear K-Lo: you are an adult and as such should be setting an example to children instead of being a big poopy-faced** liar using the word "reportedly" to get away with repeating a falsehood NOTED IN THE FUCKING SALON ARTICLE YOU LINKED TO. And quoting yourself as the "reportedly" link is, uh, unwise because you are a goddamned dimwit. Also Jackhammer Jesus gets good reviews.

*Things were so much better when I was six years old.

**Yes? No?

UPDATE!

One vote is plenty for me as I am a liberal who IGNORES ELECTION RESULTS ANYWAY! HA HA!

But no complaints please, I am still serving you, the common blog reader: ordinarily you would have to pay big money to see K-Lo shitfaced.