Death

Here shimmies the Frank Slide, which flattened a town, killing 90:



or



It's consoling to think that somewhere out there in the limitless beauty of space and time exists a mountain that can crush the whole fucking Earth flat and finish the job.

Has the Shoe Been Tried?

Dan Gainor:

Now that [Dave Weigel]’s at Slate, he’s also up to his old tricks, comparing opponents of the Ground Zero Mosque to the czars who used to murder Jews by the thousands. Oh sure, he doesn’t say that, but he does.

I wonder non-wonderingly what Pamela Geller's stance on the Iraq war was and what Czarina Geller's policies would include.

The way the czars used to “view the Jews?” Well the czars devoted a lot of energy into evicting Jews, killing Jews and more – like Nazis without the scientific process. It’s the kind of behavior that appears in the movie “Fiddler on the Roof” where a whole town was ordered out of their homes.

It would be terrible to order people away from their property.

News of Note!

Telepathic Ed has increased his range of blog-post titles by a full 25%. The previous go-to titles:

good talk (330 uses)
gpod talk (One use)
gppd ta;l (One use)
Telepathic Ability (One use)

Click for the latest and greatest. Will it see more than one use? Only Time Will Tell.

In My Day We Only Had Black and White Crayons

Kids today get RGB! CMYK at the fancier places!

The Ass End of Town

In the Southern Sudan:

The authorities in southern Sudan have unveiled a $10bn (£6.4bn) plan to rebuild the region's cities in the shapes of animals and fruit.

Elaborate blueprints for the new cities have already been drawn up.

The regional capital, Juba, will be relocated and designed in the shape of a rhinoceros. Wau, the capital of Western Bahr el-Ghazal state, is to be a somewhat unwieldy giraffe.

I know where to situate the dump.

Why Dreams Are Important

I dreamed last night that M. Bouffant had taken some kinda youth drug and wound up in high school. For some reason I was hanging around the high school too. Then Bouffant took another drug that turned him even younger and also into a girl. He was then in the same class as my daughter. I thought I'd help out and went the school office to sort out why one student went missing and another showed up. A visiting member of a pipe band was also in the office and said "Well, why don't you use some of those liberal blogger skills?" I said "That's what I'm doing fuckhead" and mushed his hat down into his face, then brought his head down to meet my knee. Most satisfying, and I woke up smiling at that point.

Also for sale in the school office were snack-sized portions of fresh warm poo.

Exploring the Pinch Her Movement

Hey it's AWR Hawkins, Ph.D in military history! What military history has he to offer us today?

On July 1, 2010, I wrote a post for Big Hollywood that demonstrated how Sheryl Crow was both reaching out to Country Music fans and insulting them at the same time.

Many of us remember July 1, 2010 as The Day That We Forgot to Make Fun of AWR Hawkins.

She was reaching out to them through her work with Kid Rock, her cameo appearance at the Country Music Awards, and the home she purchased in Nashville. She was insulting them by railing against “giant cars” (like the 4×4 pickups and Hummers country artists love to drive), and calling Tea Partiers “ignorant” and “angry.”

Suffice it to say, Crow couldn’t have insulted Country Music fans more without calling them by name.

So if I say "backwoods drunken cousin-fuckers with screechy fiddles need to lay off the moonshine and finish the eighth grade" Sheryl Crow has already beaten me in the offensiveness department by talking about trucks and libertarians?

Anyway, it seems that Sheryl Crow has shit in her rider that specifies recycled this that and the other when she plays shows:

For instance, the rider contains an “environmental portion” which clearly states that Crow wishes to “minimize the overall environmental impact of the tour.” And while there’s nothing wrong with this on the surface, the problems arise when her to-do list for achieving this lowered environmental impact is fleshed out.

Yes, that's right, there's nothing wrong with talking about it, but actually DOING IT is BEYOND THE PALE. Look:

For instance, she asks venue owners to “utilize…non-petroleum cups” and other “alternatives to Styrofoam” for backstage drinks. She requests they reduce their reliance on fossil fuels by using “renewable sources and/or to [buying] sustainable energy credits where possible.” She actually asked them to check with their local utility companies to see if there’s a “green power” option they can switch to during her concert. She asks for “eco-friendly cleaning and bathroom products [and] post-consumer recycled toilet paper and paper [towels].”

OMG! Deep beneath the surface of "minimizing the environmental impact of the tour" is MINIMIZING THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT OF THE TOUR!!!

AND YET Ms. Crow insists upon bringing her show to town in vehicles with ENGINES.

Unless those buses and trucks are running off solar panels, Crow needs to hush.

Indeed. Those who tour from town to town on camelback and burn the dung to heat their locally-gathered dandelion soup would, I am certain, be immune to criticism from the likes of AWR Hawkins, Ph.D in military history.

And she need not be surprised that when heartland Americans look at her, they see what they saw in John Kerry during 2004: A snooty leftist who doubles as a control freak.

John Kerry? WHO??? Jesus fucking Christ, GET WITH THE PROGRAM.

World's Tiniest Violin Shoved Up Your Ass

God bless the British press and all who fail on her:

Fraudsters are posing as fisherman to con BP out of thousands of dollars in compensation for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Assuming "thousands" as $99,999 I believe that is a full 0.000499995% of that twenty billion dollar fund.

Send the redcoats in!

Independent Living

Don't need no nursing home or nothing:

While no weapon was produced, the 75-year-old told staff at a Prince George Bank of Nova Scotia that he was armed. Staff surrendered a small amount of cash and the robber made his getaway as RCMP were called around 11:45 a.m. Friday.

The suspect was described as a Caucasian male weighing about 230 pounds. He was wearing a straw hat, white T-shirt, grey jogging pants and dark glasses - and he was using a walker that many rely on for mobility.

Lowest Common Thing I Can't Understand

The New York Times translates for the common man:

A University of Notre Dame anthropologist, Susan D. Blum, disturbed by the high rates of reported plagiarism, set out to understand how students view authorship and the written word, or “texts” in Ms. Blum’s academic language.

Whoa there egghead, spare us your p- p- polysybil- polysilly- your crazy talk! Come down from your ivory tower and find a word that means something instead of inventing one!

At the Fair: Various Categories

Nostalgia (Sports Edition)

Since I now watch nearly no television I content myself with memories of it. Basketball Hall of Fame goings-on:

The fact that Barkley and two other Dream Teamers, Karl Malone and John Stockton, had been cut from the Bob Knight-coached 1984 Olympic team came up several times during the weekend. C.M. Newton, an assistant to Knight on that team and later one of the USA Basketball Committee members who picked the Dream Team, mentioned it on Thursday night. "Charles could've been on that team, but he wanted to go back to Leeds and eat fried chicken or whatever they do back there," said Newton.

He probably regretted it the moment he said it, but no one took it as racist, which it wasn't. (Barkley has talked about eating fried chicken himself.) Barkley didn't miss a beat. "What you really wanted to say, C.M., was that Bobby Knight was a prick," said Charles. The room roared but it will probably be edited out of the official Hall of Fame video.

Goodest Talk

At the Fair

My Stealing Nature

Hey!

Calling all artists, designers, and creatively inclined Corner fans! Can you produce an image that does justice to The Corner — that captures its unique spirit and character?

Gee whiz. I'm just gonna steal:

Sunset at English Bay

At the Fair

I really really enjoyed the Vegreville Country Fair's kid's exhibition section. More coming whether you like it or not.

Competitive Marshmallowing

This Would Totally Gross Out The Muslims. HA! HA!

The Height of the Bar