Heeeeeeeere's Hitler!

Welp, here's what I see:



My heart is won:

Guess What? That's What!

Jonah Goldberg on removing all doubt:

The Iranians are accusing Obama of meddling even though Obama says he doesn't want to meddle. It seems this offers a great opportunity for Obama to meddle!

Yay! Also:

I'm only partly joking.

If this means he'll walk back the stupid part if necessary I do not agree with "partly".

Today, We Are All Hitlers

John T. Simpson is bringing the firepower!

The Left Has Spoken: Today, We Are All Extremists

What follows is the usual fairly heated barrage of crazy all about how leftists are really the hateful ones, but as an inadvertent illustration of the opposite of his thesis, he opens his article with this:

"The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belong to one category.” - Adolf Hitler.

Indeed, my friend, you have been misjudged.

There's much more there of course, but here:

GROW UP! I’m sick of dealing with a bunch of full-grown screaming control-freak toddlers!

"U LIBS R DUM" would be sufficient here.

Whoopsies!

Thank God for torture or we'd never have figured this out:

CIA Mistaken on 'High-Value' Detainee, Document Shows
By Peter Finn and Julie Tate
Washington Post Staff Writers
Tuesday, June 16, 2009

An al-Qaeda associate captured by the CIA and subjected to harsh interrogation techniques said his jailers later told him they had mistakenly thought he was the No. 3 man in the organization's hierarchy and a partner of Osama bin Laden, according to newly released excerpts from a 2007 hearing.

Happenings in the Greater World

The Talented Telepathist has been busy:

I told the 2 Swedish Girl Journalists about the Entire American Media Covering Up the Fact that TV Star Kelly Ripa was Gay and that this They had done for the Past 2 Years. These Swedish Journalists Said that That Was Impossible, That the Entire American Media Couldn't Possibly Be Bought Off. One of Them was So Worked Up that She could Hardly Talk, She Could Hardly Get the Words Out. Well, you Thousands of American Media People Reading This Blog Know That Unfortunately This is True. I asked These Girls if I Could Mention Their Names in My Blog and They Said No. I Said, The Evil and Powerful American Media Will Be Angry That You Sided With Me and Will Make Sure That You Lose Your Jobs and That You Never Work Again. I Said---You'll Starve To Death on the Streets of Stockhom as Martyrs to the Truth, That is So Romantic . What Girl Wouldn't Be Won by Such Pleasing Talk?

My Education

Vox Day has a quiz up on one of the modern era's most important tomes: LIBERAL FASCISM.

It turns out I am better than most at understanding its sacred message:



This is where I faltered:



Still, being only mildly above average at figuring out what Jonah wants me to think has me down.

A Little More Amber Pawlik

Needs some tweaking, but what the heck:

Peppered Hummingbird with Pickled Castle Cheeses

Ingredients:
1 hummingbird
1 castle cheese
1 portion tofu
3 tablespoons peachy raptor toe
1 pint mustard
3 tablespoons brown sugar

The first thing you are going to want to do is let the hummingbird soften. I recommend cutting it into fucking squares to let it soften quicker. Then you are going to roll the tofu with the castle cheese out onto a 15 X 9 (roughly) cookie sheet. Bake the dough at 375 F for 10 minutes. YOU MUST LET THIS COOL BEFORE PUTTING ANYTHING ON TOP OF IT. Let it cool for at least 1/2 hour. You can chop up sailfish while waiting for it to cool and make the hummingbird center. For the center, mix the raptor and the hummingbird. You can use Nurse Beefbegkloth Beautifully-Refreshing's climbing catfish skull but raptor is better for this recipe as you want more of a taste. Mix it with a blender until it is very creamy and there are no lumps. Then add in the mustard to the hummingbird mix. Spread the hummingbird mix over the cooled tofu bottom. I recommend putting it in dollups over the dough, so you can spread it around easier. Try not to touch the tofu bottom as you are spreading it. The reason why the tofu bottom has to be very cool is because otherwise it will start to lift up as you are spreading the tofu. Make sure to get all spots where the tofu shows. After this is done, sprinkle the mustard on top. Don't try cutting it until you have let it cool in the refrigerator for at least an hour. Before putting it in the refrigerator though, run a knife over the outside of the pizza, so it is easier to get out later. If you try cutting it into slices before it is cool, the tofu and the hummingbird will run along the knife with you.

I Don't Blame Him Either

Professor X is currently held in an ultra-secure prison while a team of torture specialists works on his as.

Trivia

This film review podcast is pretty funny.

Smacked By the Invisible Hand

A big Nelson Muntz laugh:

Stephen Baldwin's NY House to Be Auctioned June 24
By Roy Edroso in Featured
Friday, Jun. 12 2009 @ 12:36PM

Stephen Baldwin was once nice enough to give Runnin' Scared an interview, so we are compelled to express our regret that his house in Rockland County has been foreclosed upon and is scheduled to be auctioned off on June 24.

Remember This?

Now it's this:












I have stolen
the hair
that was on
the nightstand

and which
you were probably
saving
for sentencing.

Forgive me
it was hilarious
so big
and so silly.

[Someone made Phil Spector's hair even bigger.]

Go There and Watch That

Follow the link please for some improv and electronics in Africa.

No Opinion

Via Mr. Atrios, a poll:



So, as answered by Republicans, we have No Opinion, closely followed by No One, with Other in third (okay okay this is not exactly a single answer but We Are Mean). Then Limbaugh and Gingrich are tied for fourth.

I am getting the suspicion that few people really want to be the loon who has to stand up and articulate what the Republican message really is.

It's In My Head ALL DAY LONG

Paul Whiteman, C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-I-N-O-P-L-E. Snagged here. There's much more at that site than meets the eye.

Please do not mention They Might Be Giants.

Also:

Is This What Andy McCarthy Was Doing?

Osama bin Laden today gave a speech to his party followers in Waziristan. What follows are excerpts from his remarks:

—We are in a period when we are surrounded by paganism. And paganism is on offence and that's why our first great challenge is spiritual.

—Reignite in people an understanding that the heart of your life is subordination to God, the heart of your life is seeking God's will and that all of us are weak and vulnerable, all of us make mistakes, but that all are welcomed by a loving God.

—Reach out to everybody in the country who is not yet saved and . . . help them understand the spiritual basis of a creator-endowed society.

—The beginning of wisdom and virtue is a recognition of our subordination to God, and to the fact that a life without God is a life so empty that even drugs and alcohol and other things cannot fill it.

—This is a country in hunger for another Great Awakening, a wave of belief which has again and again swept this country and fundamentally changed us.

The Whole Andy McCarthy

I don't get this:

Re: Getting healthier by the day! [Andy McCarthy]

Turns out: it's not just me. Our buddy Steve Schippert reports that hope and change has come to ... AL QAEDA!

Ayman Zawahiri announced today that, under the Recruitment Stimulus Initiative Insha Allah (RSIIA), the terror network has created or saved 10,000 jihadist jobs (resulting in a concurrent creation or saving of 720,000 virgins!).

Zawahiri added that al Qaeda has appointed an Explosive Czar. It has also taken over al-Shabaab in Somalia — although Zawahiri insists this is a temporary take-over because, with two wars to run, the last thing CEO Osama bin Laden wants to be doing right now is running a failing cell in Somalia.

06/09 06:41 PM

There's no link in the story to Steve Schippert and whatever it is he has to say, so I suppose you have to deal with the satire you're given, which is a conflation of Osama and Obama. HA HA!

Also union members are dangerous terrorists.

It's not beyond the usual stupidity or unfunniness but I feel there must be some code I'm missing that would help me understand just what prompted McCarthy to post this. Surely he wouldn't just waste his day posting bullshit on the internet.

Thank You Google

URPDATE!!!

The Cult of Sumo

Sumo stablemaster jailed in teenage death case

TOKYO (AFP) — A Japanese court sentenced a former sumo stablemaster to six years in prison for ordering the beating of a teenage wrestler who later died of his injuries.

[...]

Prosecutors said Yamamoto ordered three senior wrestlers to assault 17-year-old Takashi Saito, with one using a metal baseball bat, after he had repeatedly tried to run away from the stable.

What I want in my sumo stable is a wrestler motivated enough to not want to be there. It's the heart that counts in this, the most noble of sports.

Naming Names

Hey, isn't that the asshole who wrote It Sticks in My Craw?

But one of the areas where conformity is appropriate is how your new countrymen say your name, since that's not something the rest of us can just ignore, unlike what church you go to or what you eat for lunch. And there are basically two options — the newcomer adapts to us, or we adapt to him. And multiculturalism means there's a lot more of the latter going on than there should be.

Golly I guess it's stuck there in his craw. May he choke on it.

The Unseriousness of Liberalitiness

The art of negotiation:

The "Transformers" bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates -- reluctantly -- what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. "I'd barter with him," she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, "and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?"

So Megan Fox would trade away parts of AMERICA to Megatron? Does she not know that Autobots plus teenagers ALWAYS DEFEAT MEGATRON?

Clearly treason is within the liberal soul.

UPDATEMEPLEASE!

John Nolte weighs in!

Not every actor’s behaved as poorly as the usual suspects, not all of them deserved to lose their firepower, but there have been too many like Megan Fox spoiling it for the rest. And so the movie star has managed to accomplish the one thing capable of causing their own extinction: they’ve deconstructed themselves.

Indeed: people may no longer look to movie stars for advice when they have Britney Spears.

Lest We Fart Jets

Assrocket:

Good Lord. Reporters are often compared to teen-age girls with crushes on Obama, but, as the father of three present, former or about-to-be teen-age girls, I object to the analogy. I personally have never seen a teen-age girl make a fool of herself over a boy the way many--most--mainstream reporters have over Barack Obama.

Now where the... [crashing noises] ...I know it was... [paper ruffling] ...oh yes, here.

Assrocket some time ago:

It must be very strange to be President Bush. A man of extraordinary vision and brilliance approaching to genius, he can't get anyone to notice. He is like a great painter or musician who is ahead of his time, and who unveils one masterpiece after another to a reception that, when not bored, is hostile.

So satisfying. From that last link:

UPDATE: Of all the thousands of posts we have done over the years, this one seems to most outrage the Left, I suppose because it is so at odds with liberals' cherished illusions about President Bush. The tone of the post is obviously tongue in cheek, but liberals never seem to notice.

In some unspecified arrangement of individuals, tongues were inserted in cheeks. Noted.

Via Omniscient J—:

I had the opportunity this afternoon to be part of a relatively small group who heard President Bush talk, extemporaneously, for around forty minutes. It was an absolutely riveting experience. It was the best I've ever seen him. Not only that; it may have been the best I've ever seen any politician. If I summarized what he said, it would all sound familiar: the difficult times we live in; the threat from Islamic fascism--the phrase drew an enthusiastic round of applause--the universal yearning for freedom; the need to confront evil now, with all the tools at our disposal, so that our children and grandchildren can live in a better and safer world. As he often does, the President structured his comments loosely around a tour of the Oval Office. But the digressions and interpolations were priceless.

And

Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated.

Noted for Future Use

Schwarzenegger backs state services to immigrants

Saturday, June 6, 2009
(06-06) 10:20 PDT Sacramento, Calif. (AP) --

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's "happy" illegal immigrants get state services and says they're not to blame for California's $24.3 billion budget gap.

...

BING!!!

First Ever Dual Post Update

In comments on the Klavan thread:



UPDATE!!!





Also from a longer post by Donna, a crowning achievement:

Reaping

Burt Prelutsky:

When, on top of all that you factor in my low opinion of John McCain, one might even wonder why I’m even a Republican. The easy answer is that, as bad as Republican politicians are, they’re better than the Democrats. But the biggest difference is between the two sets of voters. By and large, Republican voters are more patriotic, more mature, more logical and far more honorable.

And it shows! Look:

I think a reasonable person might ask one or two reasonable questions of President Obama. One: Who does he have in mind to run this paramilitary organization now that Hermann Goering is no longer available, and, two, what color shirts will they be wearing? Black or brown?

Shoot First, Talk Later

Andrew Klavan in defense of terrorism:

And guess what? It doesn’t matter a damn whether you’re for abortion or against it. The Supreme Court decision arbitrarily declaring abortion a constitutional right is the worst thing that ever happened to either faction.

Er, except the faction that's for abortion...

It was rotten and dishonest at its core – read the constitution and you tell me where the right to an abortion is – and rather than conferring a right on people, it actually stripped them of their most important right: the right to elect legislators who make the laws they want.

The point of a constitution is that THAT RIGHT IS LIMITED. Jeebus, this is the very heart of conservatism, guy: it should not be easy to go nuts with kooky laws!

I blame Roe v. Wade for a lot of things: the current poison partisanship, the rise of inappropriate religious politics, the corruption of our system for appointing and approving Supreme Court justices – but most of all, I blame it for the irreconcilable virulence of the sides in the abortion debate.

Let's imagine Roe v. Wade as a legislative act. How much shorter would this list be for Klavan?

How can you discuss things in a civil manner when your right to make a final decision about them has been taken away by seven Little Caesars who think their black robes make them kings?

Clearly you cannot discuss things in a civil manner if what was once a rule restricting women IS NO LONGER A RULE! YOU GO CRAZY AND SMASH EVERYTHING AND SHOOT PEOPLE! Or, wolverine-like, you turn on the computer, clicking here and there, typing this letter and that in order to post something on the internet.

It’s tyranny, pure and simple, whether you believe in abortion rights or not.

I do not believe it's tyranny to one day be able to do one thing and the next day be able to choose between two things. Call me crazy.

And in a free country, tyranny makes men mad and will ultimately be answered with bloodshed.

In a free country, tyranny makes men write crazy sentences that make no sense but can be loosely construed as dangerously nuts!

Important!

News from abroad:

Puppet Princess
In the age of chaos, at a time of great upheaval, there was a small country in forgotten realm, ruled by Lord Ayawatari. He was not interested in governing his territory, nor in conflicts between the other warlords, but instead was only creating puppets. Knowing Ayawatari's nature, the evil warlord Sadayoshi Karimata invaded Ayawatari's castle and wiped out his entire family, or so it seemed... With her homeland in ruins, Princess Rangiku, the daughter of Lord Ayawatari the puppet master, is forced to seek out the legendary ninja, Danzo Kato. It is only with his help that she can hope to oppose the evil Karimata, but Danzo's assistance comes at a cost. Together these unlikely heroes must find a way to infiltrate Karimata's castle and restore the mysterious stolen puppet.

Silly princess: PUPPETRY IS THEFT.

[Those feeling ripped off at a post solely intended to be the first use of PUPPETRY IS THEFT can go read this and nod in agreement.]

Red Tape

Megan McArdle has been receiving well-deserved derision from everywhere all the time, but here:

If you interpret this murder as a political act, rather than that of a lone whacko, than this should be a troubling sign that the political system has failed. So why do so many people think that the obvious answer is simply to more firmly entrench laws that are rightly intolerable to someone who thinks that a late term fetus is a person?

Someone should point out to Ms. Galt that the laws that are firmly entrenched restrict abortion. It's the absence of an abortion law to his liking that Mr. Not-So-Lone Whacko is pissed about.

But this is the tedium of McArdle: goofier and funnier nutballs think their enemies are terrorist faggot Muslims, while she is content to assume her opponents over-regulate.

Sick and Ridiculous

Via NPR, a brief article about this:



Marc Myers:

Why the song's lyrics weren't recorded the first time around on Mingus Ah Um isn't clear. Most likely the omission came at the behest of Columbia executives, who at the time didn't want to overly inflame the label's Southern markets. Writes Gene Santoro in Myself When I Am Real: The Life and Music of Charles Mingus:

"[The group recorded] Fables of Faubus, but Columbia, Mingus said, wouldn't let them record the lyrics."

Adjustments

I'm just not mean enough to leave the autostart on "true".

Perhaps Roeder Should Be Executed