Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Important!

News from abroad:
Puppet Princess
In the age of chaos, at a time of great upheaval, there was a small country in forgotten realm, ruled by Lord Ayawatari. He was not interested in governing his territory, nor in conflicts between the other warlords, but instead was only creating puppets. Knowing Ayawatari's nature, the evil warlord Sadayoshi Karimata invaded Ayawatari's castle and wiped out his entire family, or so it seemed... With her homeland in ruins, Princess Rangiku, the daughter of Lord Ayawatari the puppet master, is forced to seek out the legendary ninja, Danzo Kato. It is only with his help that she can hope to oppose the evil Karimata, but Danzo's assistance comes at a cost. Together these unlikely heroes must find a way to infiltrate Karimata's castle and restore the mysterious stolen puppet.
Silly princess: PUPPETRY IS THEFT.

[Those feeling ripped off at a post solely intended to be the first use of PUPPETRY IS THEFT can go read this and nod in agreement.]

29 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

Quote of the week from Anime news You know those anime characters who make purple toxic-waste dishes by tossing in ingredients willy-nilly with no attention to the harmony of taste or texture? Well this is the anime they would make.
I hate those purple making anime characters.

Mendacious D said...

RB, are you saying that only when the people hold all puppetry in common can they truly be emancipated?

I'll never watch Being John Malkovich the same way again.

herr doktor bimler said...

Man is born free and everywhere he is on strings.

Righteous Bubba said...

I hope you all appreciate that I went to the internet's MOST TRUSTED anime news source for that, BAPIGHTS!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Bimler is Neil Peart?

tigris said...

They may call it a great upheaval if they like, but actually upheaval is a finite good.

mikey said...

So, does it follow that the Puppetry of the Penis is theft of affection?

And if Puppetry is Theft, what would a Shari'a judge require to be cut off?

The perpetrator's flycell?

Rusty Shackleford said...

I can't believe those cocksuckers at Big Failywood banhammered me. Now whose punchbowl am I going to shit in?

Righteous Bubba said...

Google Finance is always good for a little trolling.

Or there's Klavan but the ban comes on pretty quick there too.

Rusty Shackleford said...

Wow - I never would have thought that commenters at Google Finance would be so fucking nuts. Third post down is entitled "Hoist your white ass high in the air for Allah." What does that have to do with finance?

Rusty Shackleford said...

Ooh, Klavan looks promising. I see you're still there, RB.

Righteous Bubba said...

"Hoist your white ass high in the air for Allah." What does that have to do with finance?

Entrepreneurship FAIL.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Google is Theft.

Well, that's what the AP is telling me.

Righteous Bubba said...

I Google and Google and Google yet I still don't have a sack full of jewelry and golden candlesticks. Perhaps I'm wearing the mask wrong.

herr doktor bimler said...

Are you sure your sack is labelled 'Swag'? Perhaps it has 'Snag' written on it by mistake, and some other blogger is receiving all your plunder.

Righteous Bubba said...

%$#@%$#@%$@#!!!

Explains all those shitty hotels!

tigris said...

If RB's sack is labeled "Snag," I for one don't want to know the details. Though a label-maker review would be helpful.

Mendacious D said...

Wait! I have had a brainwave!

People skilled in the ways of the GIMP or Photoshop or similar must find a poster for Puppetry of the Penis, and do some judicious copyediting.

"Property of the Penis."

It would explain so much about our current situation.

According to my captcha, it might produce an antediti.

Another Kiwi said...

Oh so Penis's have property rights now!?!?!?!?
Well that's just dandy, I guess I will be sued for the vasectomy? And it will want it's own room, with decor straight out of the Playboy Mansion?
Thanks a million activist judges.

Righteous Bubba said...

Thanks a million activist judges.

Their march on Washington BEGINS.

herr doktor bimler said...

I hope they don't arrive on the same day as the 'Circumcision is Genocide!' rally.

tigris said...

That would certainly cut the march short, especially if folks started getting snippy.

mikey said...

Is it just me, or do you envision a million activist judges hanging around the mall while a bunch of activist judges fucks around with the PA system and the activist judges are all, you know, ACTIVIST and they get all restless and start fucking with each other and sure enough, dammit, out come the folding steel chairs and them whole meticulously planned march kind of disintegrates into a big chaotic melee where it turns out that Kevin Costner was having a kidney problem and the EMTs were busy over in Virginia.

I guess it's just me.

Kind of thought so...

mikey

Righteous Bubba said...

I kind of saw some exchanges of the "NO SUMMONSES!" "DOUBLE SUMMONSES NO BACKSIES!" variety.

herr doktor bimler said...

The activist judges with their "NO RECOVERY UNTIL DISCOVERY" placards (not to mention "BUSH LIED, WE CROSS-EXAMINED")... the circumcision crowd with their giant puppets... it's a recipe for disaster.

Fortunately, "recipe for disaster" is what you expect from a RB post.

herr doktor bimler said...

I'll never watch Being John Malkovich the same way again.

Is that one of those "A man cannot drown in the same river twice" things?

herr doktor bimler said...

I hate those purple making anime characters.

Let me quote a sentence from a book of conference abstracts that is, for completely other reasons, lying open beside the computer:
"Then the various potential sources of evidence will be investigated, such as the archaeological investigation of an early Irish 'purple factory', the chemical analysis of ancient textiles, and the results of the recent tests on manuscript illuminations, which can now be carried out with non-destructive techniques. Mention will also be made of modern experiments with the whelk-dyeing of wool samples, and attempts to reproduce the famous purple pages of early manuscripts."

It all makes sense in context, but is more fun without.

M. Bouffant said...

"A man can not step in the same river twice; he need only drown in it once."

Rusty Shackleford said...

mikey @ 9:36 = among funniest comments ever