Cairo

It's unclear from the following, but while I was trudging my feet bloody in Cairo I was having an excellent time. It was my first real experience as an alien, a very important lesson in the contextual nature of ignorance and the amount of improvisation communication may involve. May you experience a similar clumsiness one day if you haven't already, and I mean that in the nicest way.
__________________


An appropriate word on a jet-lag day. Egypt's colonial masters built bunches of beautiful buildings which are slowly crumbling. There aren't a whole lot of caretakers or maintenance workers around, and there probably wouldn't be a payroll for them in any case.

A very clean and beautiful (therefore rare) street in Islamic Cairo. Remarkably serene. It was early morning and girls were sitting in the street sketching the arabesques hanging off the walls. Lotsa sketching in that town...but only by women. Men must be far too busy doing Important Things.

This is a typically busy little street i n Islamic Cairo, confusing, packed full of people carrying junk here and there, with a minaret overseeing all. This is where you go to walk in shit and get date-pits in the treads of your shoes. Donkey carts roll through here with cabs behind them honking. What falls to the ground gets picked through by chickens. Them chickens must have been tough to make it to adulthood despite the throngs of scraggly cats. Sensitive eaters beware.

This photo was taken from the minaret of the mosque of Sultan Hassan. You're looking at The Citadel, where various palaces and mosques are, including that huge attempt at Turkish majesty right there. The interior of it is at once very impressive and kind of tasteless, as its builder, Muhammad Ali (a different one) was something of a vulgarian by mosque standards. No naked women with clocks in their stomachs or anything, but it's glitzy in a non-figurative Frenchified way.

This is a courtyard in Muhammad Ali's mosque.

One of the mosques in The Citadel, En Nasr. The minaret has some nice green tile work, which you'll have to use some imagination to see.

Okay, this is an ugly shot, but low light was not helping me. This is En Nasr's minbar (where the iman chants Qu'ran from on high) and the little nave-like area where the Qu'ran is kept. Islam is the Op-Art religion. Look at those inlays.

This is the only decorated irwan in the mosque of Sultan Hassan. He was a puppet ruler, and his masters killed him when they found out he was spending so much money making this titanic monument. In standard Egyptian fashion, nobody bothered to complete the work.

The inside of the irwan above. Those lamps are hanging from the roof by chains...imagine being the poor fool who had to keep them lit. They're electric now of course. The minaret here is a fun climb...up a stairway to the roof, up a stairway inside a dark circular tower, another tower after that, and you get a great view of Cairo. Look out for that missing step.

The minarets of Rifai from the minaret of Sultan Hassan.

The mosque of Hassan on the left, and Rifai on the right. The Shah of Iran's tomb is in Rifai for some reason, surrounded by green flourescent lighting. Coloured flourescents are the official neon substitute in Egypt.

Somehow I got a nice picture of this nice open courtyard in, I think, the mosque build by mystical tyrant El Hakim. It's a relief being in a place like this when the crowds and squalor around it can be so overwhelming. It was a particularly instructive mosque: the folks in charge of taking money did an excellent job of fleecing me by not having change and so on...and at that point I was too polite to complain, especially in the face of such bad dental work. Under those arches? Pigeon nests. Watch where you step. You can wash your feet at that fountain in the middle though.

What's behind the pyramids? Nothing. Get a little distance from the Nile and everything is bleak. In front of the Pyramids? Millions of Cairenes and a golf course right under the hill the pyramids are on.

This is some dope at the pyramids. He claims his camel's name is Charlie Brown. The pyramids are impressively monomaniacal piles of rock but they're surrounded by weasels who are desperate for your cash. This is understandable, as tourists are loaded, relatively speaking, but it can get pretty frustrating trying to look around when people are constantly trying to sell you things, including opportunities for outstanding pictures like this. I paid this guy a little money for it, for god's sake. What a soft touch. Eventually my sole souvenir purchase in all of Egypt was a T-shirt that read "I CAME TO SEE PYRAMIDS. LEAVE ME ALONE." I paid too much for it of course.

HYUK

Reference.

Important Cows Have Been Civilization

Ancient Times

A few years ago I was in Egypt. Some of the forthcoming posts are reposts of my very first website ever, made with the venerable Claris Home Page. Look at the lovely ComicSans. Not enough credit given to primitive photoshoppery: these are tweaked in a major way.

_____________________

Here are some photos I took in Egypt. I actually hadn't planned to take any photos, which was pretty dumb, and once I was convinced to do so, I just bought some disposable cameras...also dumb. I'm not the kind of guy who should waste a lot of money on a camera - I don't think I have any particular talent or patience for that kind of thing - but once I was there I regretted not having worthwhile equipment. The results speak for themselves: virtually all outdoor shots because that's where the light was, not enough shots of people due to misanthropy...and so on. So there's a lot less of a really terrific trip than I would have liked, but that's that. Sorry the pics are so huge, but I'm too lazy to change it all now.

These are columns in, I think, the fairly spectacular temple in Edfu.

Because Egyptian edifices are generally oriented to catch the sun, it's usually difficult for a guy like me to catch a shot of reliefs: they're in shadow or direct sunlight. Here, though, you can see the kind of thing that nearly every square inch of temple surface was either covered with or was supposed to be covered with. The guy on the right is one of the pharaohs holding multiple enemies by the hair with an arm raised to whack them, much as we do today. Crowds of people tended to be represented as one person with echoing lines around them; directly underneath the pharaoh's hand is the central figure kneeling to the right and cowering, much as we do today.

Great gosh a mighty, it's another temple somewhere.

Here's where I got very worried and offended: a bunch of not very subtle looking guys appeared to be painting colours onto the reliefs. Silly me, they were cleaning the damned things with some kind of solution.

Woo Woo!

Quoth a crazy loon you've never heard of:

The lefties have nothing to lose if swarms of the ‘poor’ are ‘starving’ while having babies in the streets and need food and housing and they can work the levers of ‘compassion’ while ignoring the rusty Rule of Law. Soon, we can enjoy the splendor of countries like France and Germany as our new friends torch a few hundred cars every night to get attention. We desperately need Sharia Law to restore what is left of our religious culture, particularly Methodism.

Also note the stylistic improvements on the common nut:



Those colours aren't links, they're just colourtastic.

Megan McArdle Remains Employed

"I'm not voting because I forgot to register."

Embarrassment

Death of a Graphics Card?

I'm getting irritating artifacts on my screen:


Anyone seen this before? I've got a dual G5 Mac with an ATI X800 XT card and I figger that's dying.

Sentence of the Day

Standard boring "education should be run like a business" article includes:

Too many cooks spoil the broth and the result is that grade inflation has exploded like a space rocket.

No.

Obama Will Lose

Obama’s association with Bill Ayers is not the only story in this election, lieberals. In fact Obama has also been seen laughing at sadistic terrorist bombings, cackling as delusional maniacs use explosive devices on innocents for seemingly no purpose.

In advance of API’s full presser on this matter, I have obtained a picture of the crazed bomber in question, added below. Obama is finished.

Robot Banker Requires Software Update

This is remarkable.

Checkers Not Exciting Enough

Boy, 8, shot to death in Mass. gun show accident

WESTFIELD, Mass. (AP) — An 8-year-old boy died after accidentally shooting himself in the head while firing an Uzi submachine gun under adult supervision at a gun fair.

The boy lost control of the weapon while firing it Sunday at the Machine Gun Shoot and Firearms Expo at the Westfield Sportsman's Club, Police Lt. Lawrence Valliere said.

Deaths like this are about as infuriating as when religious nuts won't take their kids to a doctor. Reasonless.

Why Republicans are Losing

Via Thers:



Dear crazy nuts: keep being crazy and nutty.

Stupid Names Via JanusNode

Here's what I did:

100 Subject(SillyNames) honorifics 10 < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | words 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 } return 100

100 Subject(SillyNames) < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | words 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 } return 100

100 Subject(SillyNames) < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 < backspace() 100 > "-" 100 < backspace() 100 > < CapitalizeNext() 100 > FirstNames 100 | words 100 | syllables 100 < backspace() 100 > words 100 | words 100 < backspace() 100 > syllables 100 | honorifics 10 | FirstNames 100 | FirstNames 100 < backspace() 100 > syllables 100 | syllables 100 < backspace() 100 > FirstNames 100 } < CapitalizeNext() 100 > { TextDemonCapitalizeFakeWord 100 | FirstNames 100 | words 100 | words 100 < backspace() 100 > "-" 100 < backspace() 100 > < CapitalizeNext() 100 > words 100 } return 100

I had to make a text file for honorifics, one of first names and another for random words (found a dictionary file on the web and used that). Turns out there's a TextDemon in JanusNode that makes fake words constructed from random syllables...I altered that to make it spit out longer fake words.

I separated the varieties of silly names into three lines; I don't know what the deal is but JanusNode doesn't seem to want to honour the frequency of the honorifics I specified so I just added lines without them.

The last line's the most complicated, with nonsense syllables getting added to real names or words and hyphenation. I think what I like most is that the ridiculous exists right next to "Dorine Simonson". "First Lieutenant Telephoning Madhouse" cracks me up.

Output:

First Lieutenant Private Caysurroym
Cloodelbert Brew-Rainstorm
Prince Status Beseeches
Rear Admiral Violette
Gia-Anjanette Sadie-Troubling
Dorine Simonson
Charlette
Gentlemen Overlays
Ethelcee Fishnolvohclel
Great-Aunt Deduct Lapnooke
Thibikl Mi
First Lieutenant Telephoning Madhouse
Captain Jotxagpeeb Krysta
Shalasheeke Hoisted-Systems
Civet Numbered
Commander Brenton Restart
Cluverline Wilder
Saint Relevances
danille Gregorio
Formulates Philosophers
Private Wade Merna

Good gravy:

Unanticipated Cuc

This last one had both me and the six-year-old giggling for ten minutes. Truly, I did not anticipate Cuc.

Still More

Aunt Boundless Corporate
Mayor Ira Fragmentary
Guru Impenetrably Chong
Airman First Class Unchangeable Xayyconesof
Dr. Meplu Sovlithcrith
Father Janina Wage
General Warner Presidency
Minister Bronchial Charita
Pastor Hefty Jarrett
Warrant Officer Naplipiberug Rose
Seaman Golfing
Colonel Dot Peaches
Private First Class Alarms Charlena
Elenor Ian
Kanesha Yikout
Princess Minister Schwartz
Secondarily Nofethojklodsaz
Pope Jessica
Staff Sergeant Grandma Barbecue
Mr. Deirdre Strategic
Gloria Elias
Dominica Autumn
General of the Army Sik Fielder
Cardinal Ching
Major Kickoff Shoodpofejoulex
Staff Sergeant Frederick Camel
Doubloon Rejoiced
Great Grandpa Romper Bolstering
Brigadier General Greed Page
Wub Maniac
Seaman Normanization Cijogfoprpe
Minister Eliminated Mabel
Vice President Antoinette Herb
Captain Exquisite Yoym

More Stupid Names

Needs more out-of-place actual words, but getting there.

Duke Vepsikvuplvav Lissa
Lord Doctor Dane
Countess Com Culeda
Queen Klalquouplakaje
Yoshiko Shanika
Ms. Coojusegou
May Su
Fouproxik Putkluf
Lord Mister Tuhvoofejvooqu
Queen John
Mister Shara Ilana
Mahalia Phylicia
Mr. Princess Chante
Mr. Gum Claretta
Virgen Sicrith
Countess Ted Quaprfec
Duke Lady Miklmouquoufeklucl
Mrs. Angeline
King Countess Eun
Lap Miki
Dr. Poolpenlef
Ms. Tuhclu
Goyweklalhoonowee Nicholas
King Porsche Jamison
Mister Bonnie Gizobeenoquoc
Duke Rizoplusach
Countess Ginny Sharan
Noysimene Maximina
Princess Ethelene Silvana
Countess Zevaych Rayfshit
Doctor Delilah Kononofewer
Mister Duke Matilda
King Gilda Shanae
Queen Koowprem
Count Yooshoolmopotej Rosanne

I Wish for Debilitating Ass Cancer for Mr. Lodge

Trolls, Wonderful Trolls

1. Dr BLT, Recovering Troll said,

   March 19, 2008 at 0:43

   I honestly never thought Sadly No would ever write something that echoes my own sentiments, but it’s a funny world.

   The Maverick
   Dr BLT
   words and music by Dr BLT copyright 2008
   http://www.drblt.net/music/MaverickDemo2.mp3

2. Righteous Bubba said,

   March 19, 2008 at 0:50

   Around the last sixth of this piece it sounds like you’re cleaning some cellophane.

3. Dr BLT, Recovering Troll said,

   March 19, 2008 at 1:33

   I was probably blowing my nose. I had a bad cold the day I recorded this.

Just Give Up and Eat Your Soup

Stupid Name Generator

I occasionally think I should change my name because the one I have is stupid. So I'm slowly working on a JanusNode module to do it. Thus far it has yielded

Mr. Moopr
Mr. Klecrou
Dr. Gutsuz
Dr. Fayzeeyoosbod
Mr. Heeb
Ms. Waygay
Dr. Samzebeeno
Dr. Yipashib
Mr. Wowgumcra
Dr. Jegdoh
Ms. Nub
Mr. Chan
Dr. Wool
Dr. Git
Ms. Divyime
Ms. Doh
Mrs. Ticpofeshifho
Ms. Soozkip
Mr. Fey
Dr. Clone
Mr. Seep
Ms. Fouproshefonofepig
Mr. Beenokono
Dr. Bi
Mrs. Ploy
Mr. Jic

A Blind Man's PUMA is Enraged Because It's Blind

Via LGM there's this craziness.

Note that Photoshop is invoked in comment #3. At this point another 518 comments follow.

Theme Shopping

Four cans of Coke
Two boxes of Cap'n Crunch
One tube toothpaste
One bottle mouthwash

A True Story

Barack Hussein Obama was once driving his car around the shopping mall looking for a parking space. Suddenly he spotted a large SUV pulling out, and he angled towards the spot. As the SUV pulled out though, he saw that behind it was another vehicle, signal on, ready to take the spot. "Ya Allah!" cried Obama as his Eid-ul-Fitr shopping was thwarted. Remarkably, however, the driver of the other vehicle turned off his signal and waved Obama in.

That driver was Bill Ayers.

Listen

Worries for the Future

Are you supposed to discover, upon making your six-year-old's bed, that she is concealing your Kafka stories there?

Lazy Blogging

Anton Von Leevenhoek's Evil Mustang Sprinkles

Ingredients:
1 mustang
3 pounds carnal farmer cheese, autonomously barbecued
7 jiggers rambling sweetened condensed milk, latently scrambled
4 pinches water buck liver
5 bags sugar
1 tablespoon flour

Adoringly grease a cookie sheet. Place the mustang into a small bowl. Use a food processor to mash the sweetened condensed milk with the farmer cheese. Stuff the resulting mixture into the mustang. Crucify the water buck liver, sugar, and the flour inwardly. Stomp everything together. Grill for 60 minutes. Serves 7 direct friends with crackpot stomachs.

I Do Enjoy This

X-Force #125 from 2002. The costumed superhero being cynical here dies shortly, another nice feature.

Panic in the Electoral College!

At Real Clear Politics the Flash map is broken and you can add as many votes as you like.

Closing Comments

I've never really understood comments being closed except for technical reasons involving bandwidth or spam, but upon reflection it seems that such a policy can have positive results.

Yesterday and Today

A Notable Clarification

Ordinarily in the West an expression of hatred for the common citizens of another country should wind up with a resignation. In Iran it's precisely the reverse.

TEHRAN — Iran’s supreme religious leader on Friday rejected the notion that his country was a friend to the Israeli people, but he also called on critics of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to stop using the issue to undermine him.

[...]

Ayatollah Khamenei’s comments appeared to be a fresh sign of support for Mr. Ahmadinejad, who has come under increasing pressure for remarks by his vice president for tourism, Esfandiar Rahim Mashai, who said last month for a second time that Iran was a friend of the Israeli people.

Mo Funny

She Was a DANCE Professor

Reader Mail re: Fake Credentials [NRO Staff]

Another professor caught without a degree, which went unnoticed for years? Maybe it's about time people started admitting that degrees are essentially worthless pieces of paper, indicative of nothing, and that one can pursue and successfully maintain high-level positions quite well without one. The scandal here is not that the professor lacked a degree, but that she, and the rest of us, need one to begin with.

—Micah B. Haber

Dear dumbass: please don't attempt to build a bridge or perform surgery. Background here.

Appealing to the Base

An Important Announcement

Framing

I think I am meant to assume that this gorgeous girl is probably as dumb as a fucking post:



All right, it's a UK newspaper and the Daily Mail at that so nothing should be expected, but pity the poor file-photo model.

Disturbing

Potential faces:

Basketball News

Via the wonderful Patricia Bender:

The NBA fined Darrell Arthur (Mem) and Mario Chalmers (Mia) $20,000 each for getting kicked out of the NBA rookie program. The two refused to leave their hotel room during a fire alarm and hotel security entered the room to force them to leave and discovered two women and the smell of marijuana. The two players were kicked out of the program for violating program rules which does not allow the rookies to have visitors. The two denied using marijuana and there was no physical evidence of marijuana recovered from the room.

Getting fined before playing a single game is pretty awesome.

A Life Lesson

Leave not poop in punchbowl X
Lest ye lose rock and drugs and sex.
Instead leave poop in punchbowl Y
And be acclaimed a stand-up guy.

My Palin Name

Spamming with Soul

Here's to San Antonio Lawyer, for keeping it minimally real.

More Personal Weakness

This is pretty entertaining.

Fuck You Creditors!

I suppose it would be awful if everything I ever knew was suddenly destroyed but it'd prove that maxing out all available credit was the right thing to do.

What I'm Listening To

Research

I really don't know what to say about this.

Remedios Varo

I suppose this is a still life.

What Other Country?

Mark Steyn:

“…First, Governor Palin is not merely, as Jay describes her, “all-American”, but hyper-American. What other country in the developed world produces beauty queens who hunt caribou and serve up a terrific moose stew?

What country in the world produces pilots who hunt pelican and serve up your jerboa swirl?

What country in the world produces gamekeepers who hunt doe and serve up no crow bruschetta?

What country in the world produces patent examiners who hunt gazelle or serve up a kind of boisterous lovebird sauce?

What ambitious country in the world produces haberdashers who hunt warthog and serve up one more kangaroo?

What country in the world produces seamstresses who hunt porpoise and serve up a kind of optimal canary smoothie?

What country in the arbitrary world produces guitarists who hunt hare and serve up notorious guinea pig ketchup?

What country in the ephemeral world produces tutors who hunt hog and serve up a kind of zebu custard?

What country in the world produces miners who hunt duck and serve up one adult steer paprikash?

What earnest country in the world produces exterminators who hunt dog and serve up their own snake fizz?

What country in the rambling world produces notaries who hunt anteater or serve up a kind of mustang loaf?

What extraordinary country in the deep world produces materials scientists who hunt newt or serve up one less dog water?

What country in the world produces pediatricians who hunt quagga and serve up your lizard couscous?

What wide-eyed country in the bad world produces fbi agents who hunt civet and serve up the complex oryx chili?

What country in the world produces paleontologists who hunt wildcat and serve up my own buffalo polenta?

What dainty country in the world produces welders who hunt gemsbok or serve up one more giraffe steak?

What patriotic country in the beany world produces illusionists who hunt panda and serve up one more duckbill hamantaschen?

What country in the careful world produces industrial engineers who hunt marmoset and serve up every extroverted platypus smoothie?

What crispy country in the great world produces press officers who hunt otter or serve up one less rat borscht?

What auburn country in the happy world produces aviators who hunt gemsbok and serve up at least one phony cheetah cake?

JanusNode Code

Requires a few files in existence, like Animals and jobs and so forth.

100 Subject(NewRule) < assign(a1,so_articles) 100 > < assign(stew1,RecipePreparations) 100 > < assign(moose1,Animals) 100 > < assign(moose2,Animals) 100 > < assign(other1,adjectives) 100 > < assign(other2,adjectives) 100 > < assign(other3,adjectives) 100 > "What" 100 < get(other1) 50 > "country in the" 100 < get(other2) 50 > "world produce" 100 "s" 100 jobs 100 "s" 100 "who hunt" 100 < get(moose2) 100 > {"and" 100 | "or" 100 } "serve up" 100 s_articles 100 < get(other3) 50 > < get(moose1) 100 > < get(stew1) 100 > "?" 100 return 100 return 100

DON'T TELL ME THE ENDING YOU ASSHOLES

Imagine the Liberties an Evil Man Could Take with the Pooch I Screwed

John McCain:

Well, my record is clear. I believe that the world is better off without Saddam Hussein. I believe it's clear that he had every intention to acquire and use weapons of mass destruction. I can only imagine what Saddam Hussein would be doing with the wealth he would acquire with oil at $110 and $120 a barrel.

Saddam was so sneaky he would have invaded Iraq himself just to drive up prices.

Thanks Fox!

Sherstory

I really like this kooky dictionary but a lot of the results are fairly disturbing.

Synchronized Swimming in Iran

Those mildly befuddled about what's going on here can check out the picture gallery.

It is been only 6 years that this sport is officially taking place, although it has along history. It was first Azam Rashidi that made this possible we all owe her this sport.

We asked her permission for this interview and also this web site. At first she said “:
I had always thought of this sport I really did not think that it exists! My professional sport was swimming and I coached a swimming team in Homa swimming pool. I asked some of the girls to hold their hands and put it in the water it looked really nice.”

In 1993, it was at first a movie by Ester Williams that caught her eyes. Without any technical knowledge she imitated from the movie then she asked one of her friends Mrs. Jafari about this sport.

Har Har

Guy who fakes faith-healing from cancer also a filthy masturbator.

It is with much pain and sadness that I make this statement today.

For over 16 years I have struggled with an addition to adult pornography as a result of this secret life of sin my body would often breakdown.

I'd report the cause of my symptoms simply as illnesses and I've thrown my life into a ministry for many years trying to compensate for my sin.

I believe that I do love Jesus and I know that he loves me and it is this love along with the prayers of people around the world that bring me to this place of confession.

Two years ago, I reported that I was suffering from cancer, the truth is that although I was ill I did not have cancer but was again using the misdiagnosis to hid the lie that I was living.

Readers should note that filthy masturbation is the okay part of the equation.

Hallowe'en and Metaphor

Conversations with the 6-Year-Old

What did you see at the Museum of Modern Art?

Dali.

What's your favourite Dali?

The Persistence of Memory. Dali is very surreal.

Twice as Hard to Kill as Locusts!

Prescriptions Over the Internet

Argonaut said,

August 15, 2008 at 2:53

[...]

My neighbor, in our Blue neighborhood, has a bumper sticker: “Drill Now, Drill Here, Pay Less.” It’s on the bumper of a Yukon XL. My question is, do I sneak up and slap a home-made “DICKHEAD” sticker on the bumper? Do I approach them with faultless logic in a friendly and neighborly way? Do I throw pig’s blood on the vehicle? (No, wait a minit, that’s for people who wear fur coats. Sorry.)

What do I, a Dirty Fighting Hippy, do?????

____________________________________

lawnguylander said,

August 15, 2008 at 4:09

What do I, a Dirty Fighting Hippy, do?????

Get a power drill and drill a pattern spelling out the words “here” and “now” into his SUV. Now.

Amy Alkon is Stupid

This kook wrote something racist and boy is her thread fun to post in because practically anyone can top Amy and her nitwit fans.

Update: Most fun since the Althouse thread.

I'm Grateful for More Roy Edroso

He, like, gets to write and stuff, and he really does and it's interesting. I may lose my job.

Can't Stop the Haiku

VA has haiku post up with a Bush post-presidency-personals theme. I contributed because I'm really supposed to be filling a spreadsheet in with medical expenses.

Memorable man
Seeks a forgetful woman
Spring brush in Crawford

You: kind and lovely,
Me: much much much much much much
More important, toots.

Follow my orders:
Privileged executive
Seeks Vice Pissident

Commander-in-chief
Seeks Ilsa for orgy fun
Turd blossom in fall

Greatest Magneto Drawing Ever!

Much to my embarrassment it's in a Generation X comic that I downloaded and am reading right now.

Opera and Meaning

What does it mean that operas in English require subtitles so that people can understand them?

Unique Headlines

Dog-cloner denies she was Mormon sex kidnapper Joyce McKinney

Rhymier is the New Shorter!

Alas, it's written with love. Rhymier Brad:

Bob Owens the oaf is a nub among knobs,
Two others help matters by jerking their jobs.
“America’s Disneyland, everything’s great,
Not Notsberry Farm ya big Negro ingrate!”

But a taste of America’s melting pot soup’ll
Show US opinion is now coloured poople.
So march with the Bush record subbing for hope,
And oh look down there! It’s a fresh bar of soap!

Free time, consider yourself wasted! Urp!

Bombing Things

Yes, I think the bombing of Hiroshima was a war crime.

A List of Bad Bad People

This here's a long list of folks who bought diplomas from the St. Regis University-centered scam, the most notorious of diploma mills. Please forward to your local registrar.

The amount of people who bought high-school diplomas...okay that's an important hurdle I suppose, but paying for AA degrees when there are others available? What the hell?

This Is Just to Say

Fatal error: Call to undefined function: htmlspecialchars_decode() in /home/admin/domains/sadlyno.com/public_html/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/wp-mollom/wp-mollom.php on line 984

I Perform a Miracle

WATER
WADER
WADES
WANES
WANTS
WAITS
WRITS
WRITE
WHITE
WHINE

Wish Fulfillment Spam

BEHOLD!

I Endorse Nilla

Thank you Tony.

Tony said,
July 17, 2008 at 6:36 (kill)

a word meaning ‘white people’ that only white people are allowed to say

I’m pretty partial to “nilla” as in Nilla Wafers. It’s also a nice drop-in replacement for the N-word in many rap songs. Imagine the awesome cover art opportunities for “Nillaz With Attitude” albums.

Mean for the Sake of It

Sacrificed Prancer and freshly-skinned Vixen,
Harpoon-impaled Donner and guillotined Blitzen,
Suffering Rudolph all tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

How Many More Lives?

Made for Each Other

Werner Todd Huston and Jonah Goldberg:



Top job is better because I unaccountably took more time, yet that is indeed Jonah's actual creepy hand.

A Horrible End

The Apostle Paul admonishes us to 'quit mixing in company .. not even eating with such an unclean [one].' -1 Cor. 5:9-11; Mark 2:13-17. Although Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this inspired Biblical principle cannot be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness in any form is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt to the right-thinking worshiper of Jehovah that loyal Christians must avoid all association with all sources of uncleanness. This would logically include animals that either harbor these tendencies or indulge in such practices. Moreover it is a well-known fact that a common practice of pagan males was to have cats bat at their erect penises for luck and not incidental pleasure, a practice which continued at least through the reign of Domitian. In some areas the practice was supplanted by individuals dressed in cat costumes - mockingly called Furrisees by the disapproving - who would collect a fee for the service. As in observant societies throughout the world, the high and the low alike attend the same rituals, and the libertine practitioners of cat drag saw fit to enter and offer money in the local houses of worship, including, to his displeasure, many of those Paul himself held forth at in his travels through the nascent realms of Christianity. Thus it is that we speak of groping peter to pay Paul.*







*My apologies. The phrase "groping peter to pay Paul" occurred to me and I had to let it out. It seemed to require some ridiculous build-up I wasn't actually willing to write, so I stole the first part here after using this clever search and then the rest seemed obvious. Yes I will take my pills now.

Getting in Trouble

Some dude gives a speech, including this bit:

Finally, we need to integrate service into education, so that young Americans are called upon and prepared to be active citizens.

Just as we teach math and writing, arts and athletics, we need to teach young Americans to take citizenship seriously. Study after study shows that students who serve do better in school, are more likely to go to college, and more likely to maintain that service as adults. So when I’m President, I will set a goal for all American middle and high school students to perform 50 hours of service a year, and for all college students to perform 100 hours of service a year. This means that by the time you graduate college, you’ll have done 17 weeks of service.

We’ll reach this goal in several ways. At the middle and high school level, we’ll make federal assistance conditional on school districts developing service programs, and give schools resources to offer new service opportunities. At the community level, we’ll develop public-private partnerships so students can serve more outside the classroom.

For college students, I have proposed an annual American Opportunity Tax Credit of $4,000. To receive this credit, we’ll require 100 hours of public service. You invest in America, and America invests in you – that’s how we’re going to make sure that college is affordable for every single American, while preparing our nation to compete in the 21st century.

For our veterans, I was proud to be a strong and early supporter of Jim Webb’s bipartisan GI Bill, so that today’s vets have the same opportunity that my grandfather had under the GI Bill. To marshal their talents in building a new energy economy, I will launch an initiative to give our veterans the training they need to succeed in the Green Jobs of the future. It’s time to end our energy dependence at home so our national security isn’t held hostage to oil and gas from abroad.
And we will not leave out the nearly 2 million young Americans who are out of school and out of work. We’ll enlist them in our Energy Corps, so that disadvantaged young people can find useful work, clean polluted areas, help weatherize homes, and gain skills in a growing industry. And we’ll expand the YouthBuild Program, which puts young Americans to work building affordable housing in America’s poorest communities, giving them valuable skills and a chance to complete a high school education. Because no one should be left out of the American story.

Another dude comes up with this idea about it:

No, national service isn't slavery. But it contributes to a slave mentality, at odds with American tradition.

Y'know, if I was dude #2 saying this about dude #1 at work and dude #1 happened to be black I'd expect that my boss would give me a loud fucking earful, or maybe I wouldn't expect it because I'd be that fucking idiot Jonah Goldberg.

Libertarians Unite to Imprison Wrongthinkers!

A kooky English libertarian writes:

Look carefully upon the sad lesson of Britain. Don’t do what we (failed to) do, by not arresting all the Gramsco-Marxian Fabiano-pre-capitalist-barbarian people-wreckers, while we had the chance, when there were about five of them.

Then follows one of those Authoritative E-mail forwards, so clicking on the link is pretty much irrelevant.

Note also that having Ronald Reagan in the masthead is somewhat incompatible with libertarianism. With any luck the "L" word will become so corrupted, as with conservatism in America, that it will mean only that the bearer's tongue will remain in the anus of a particular person for a set duration.

Own Goals

A minor link round-up of nerve-gas tests (proposed and completed) by the good guys on the good guys.

Proof!

More fun to be had here although I had to screenshot this one as drag and drop produces a generic image.

Sad Headline of the Day

Diploma mills are bad and all, but please. If anything's a terrorist threat it's pregnant teenagers. I suppose I should link to the piece from the Newspaper of Record but them's the breaks.

Sproing!

Read the fine print. It's always meaningful.

They don't call him Wildmon for nothing.

Jonah Wept

This will be the best thing ever when I get around to contributing to it.

The Question

"The Question" apparently has nothing to do with who called Cindy McCain a cunt.

Firefox 3 is Go

Thus far a bunch of extensions aren't working, but the hassle of that, using the developer version of Tab Mix Plus, and installing Adblock Plus instead of Adblock is more than made up for by the performance boost for my Mac. PC users with lotsa extensions might want to wait - I didn't really need the upgrade at work and lost a little functionality out of it - but generally I am very pleased.

I Am Aware of All Internet Traditions

This was provided by Michael relating to this hilarious LGM thread:



It's the new meme.

Mythic Means Big

The Blink Tag

I have never seen, I think,
A tag as lovely as a blink.

A tag whose “open” sits right next
To sweetly fulminating text;

A tag that blinks out “God” all day,
Should we desire to virtually pray;

A tag that may in summer swear
“IT’S TOO HOT TO FUCKING CARE”;

Upon whose closure sweet relief
For snobby coders with a beef.

Lou Montulli made the blink,
But only you can make it stink.

Good Luck Iowa City

I spent a while there feeding fish popcorn in between drinking beer and not going to classes. Once in a while the park I walked by on the way to school would vanish under water. It's worse now.

Viagra Professional?

Go Detroit!

John McCain, ABBA Fan

Via MAJeff here, John McCain is an ABBA fan.

I recommend Knowing Me, Knowing You.

It Is a Great Thing

It is a great thing that the presidency is within the reach of women who don't hire Mark Penn.

If I Ever Figure Out How to Autopost...

...this'll pop up weekly. Wow. Fox has its work cut out for it with this old bastard.

The Semicolon

Hail to thee oh semicolon,
Crutch of pedant masked as Solon,
Aid to bold Non Sequitur;
The weather’s nice today.