Inspiration from Thers.
The Passionate Maximos to His Love
Come live with me and be my wife,
And we'll forego all pleasures rife
In rock and hip-hop, modern jazz,
Or any joy that good sex has.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Whipping shepherds who whip their flocks
By grey-brown rivers, to whose falls
Laundry women sing madrigals.
And I will make thee a bed that squeaks
Like those of which my grandpa speaks;
Decent bloomers, and dowdy dress
Lest lusty negroes their love confess.
A shirt made of the finest hair
(Things that cover what's down there);
Sensible shoes for warm and cold,
Which suit the young and suit the old.
No belt to bring out waist or hips
And thereby whet the gossips' lips:
And if these steps may thee approve,
To marry me t'would thee behoove.
The minstrel band shall dance and sing
Though they'll be beaten if they should swing:
In these conditions my wife must live,
If not she's no conservative.