10 Worst Children's CerealsEat up.
Based on percent sugar by weight
1 Kellogg's Honey Smacks 55.6% 2 Post Golden Crisp 51.9% 3 Kellogg's Froot Loops Marshmallow 48.3% 4 Quaker Oats Cap'n Crunch's OOPS! All Berries 46.9% 5 Quaker Oats Cap'n Crunch Original 44.4% 6 Quaker Oats Oh!s 44.4% 7 Kellogg's Smorz 43.3% 8 Kellogg's Apple Jacks 42.9% 9 Quaker Oats Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries 42.3% 10 Kellogg's Froot Loops Original 41.4%
Wow.
ReplyDeleteNo Cocoa Puffs? No Frosted Flakes?
THEY'RE GREAT!!!
At least Captain Crunch and Apple Jacks are there.
It's how we got through collage, people.
~
Post Golden Crisp
ReplyDeleteI think Sugar Bear languishes in a diabetic coma.
Is better eat pie. Cherry.
ReplyDeleteI thought Count Chocula and Franken Berry would be on the list, but General Mills only sells them on a seasonal basis these days (around Halloween).
ReplyDeleteFrom Wikipedia:
Franken Berry was very popular when first introduced possibly because the initial batches of the cereal used a dye that didn't break down in the body, causing many children's feces to be bright pink, a symptom sometimes referred to as "Frankenberry Stool."
I don't understand how Crunch Berries can be lower than All Berries and Original when it's a mix of the two, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteNever doubt that the chefs at Quaker make each product a unique blend to maximize taste sensation. It's the same dedication that the folks at Budweiser have.
ReplyDelete"Froot Loops Original"? Same old shite in an olde time box, and it's called Original.
ReplyDeleteAre you really a cereal freak?
ReplyDeleteOne of the worst (best?) things about my childhood was that these kinds of cereals were absolutely verboten. All my friends got to them, but not me, never me. GOOD EATING HABITS CAN GO TO HELL!!!
Captain Crunch is yummy, but it cuts up the roof of your mouth.
omg, the "sub" words keep coming. I swear every other w/v is a sub word..."subrathe," which sounds kinda badass. I'm picturing something with wings a scythe!
ReplyDeleteIf there exist amongst the Substance clan anyone who has not read the sublime, if now somewhat dated "Cryptonomicon", one of the things you would have missed was a multi-page, elegantly detailed description of the ritual of eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch. It is ideal Stephenson, simultaneously rich in the physical and engineering detail, and yet the words all fit together in an elegant pattern that is, finally, something other, a poetry of the carefully examined mundane. I'm sure it is to be found on the google...
ReplyDeleteAre you really a cereal freak?
ReplyDeleteYes.
I'm sending you some Jif cereal. *
ReplyDeleteWHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT A BOWL OF POISON?
*no such thing...that I know of
Are you really a cereal freak?
ReplyDeleteYes.
related
WHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT A BOWL OF POISON?
ReplyDeleteI have had various suggestions similar to this one over the years.
Cereals made by Purina scared me for the obvious reason. As with Hostess, American television would reveal exotic treats I could never have.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI have had various suggestions similar to this one over the years.
MEAN
All that fermentable sugar. I envisage novelty home-brew possibilities.
ReplyDeleteThe Captain Crunch incident!! Divider of readers!
ReplyDeleteToo bad the list does not explore the preferred choices of this cereal person, Malt-O-Meal & store brand cereals that come in bags & are cheaper than advertised national brands.
ReplyDeleteAnd fuck the crunch, Colossal Crunch is best when left to sogify before eating.