Thursday, November 10, 2011

Anus... Clenching... Skin... Tightening...

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19 comments:

  1. Dr.KennethNoisewaterNovember 10, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    They say anus clenching is quick and non-surgical, but it's still really painful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. zombie rotten mcdonaldNovember 10, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Substance is doing an awful lot of blogging for someone who is supposed to be driving.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Smut ClydeNovember 10, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    The words "laser" and "care" do not really look that good side-by-side. Not even in an advertisement for skin burns.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BrandoNovember 10, 2011 at 2:30 PM

    Substance must be driving the new Dodge Blogger, the first car with a built in dash keyboard and a rear-view mirror that displays comments.

    ReplyDelete
  5. zombie rotten mcdonaldNovember 10, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    OK, why hasn't somebody made that car?

    In other news, we saw a local story about a drunk dad who was responsible enough to designate a driver - his 9 year old daughter.

    When asked is she drove too fast, she said no. If she used turn signals? yes. If she drove too slow? No.

    Fuck, I said, give her a license, she's already doing better than half the adult drivers on the goddam road.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dr.KennethNoisewaterNovember 10, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    Yeah, give her license and a new dad.

    ReplyDelete
  7. El ManquécitoNovember 10, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    I think a 9 year old chauffeur is even better than Mikey's monkey butler.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hamish MackNovember 10, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    How many LOLs per gallon d'ya get from the Dodge?

    ReplyDelete
  9. wileyNovember 10, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    Kinda off topic, but kinda not, anyone hear of this possible revolution in treatment for burns with stem cells?

    http://www.engadget.com/2010/12/02/over-the-counter-spray-on-stem-cell-treatment-could-treat-burns/

    That would be wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. wileyNovember 10, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    Man, I don't drive, but I want a Dodge Blogger for Clouds---my 24/7 tech driver and driver. I am a navigator with two years of experience in tactical control.

    Where can we get this magnificent car?

    ReplyDelete
  11. M. BouffantNovember 10, 2011 at 8:15 PM

    No longer a local story: Saw the junior driver (just her smeared image, really) on the tube (no cable means real telebision crap) & the arresting or ticketing ossifer said she had a booster seat.

    She only drove drunken dad around at night 'though.

    Anyway, perhaps "Anus ... Clenching" means someone is getting over his goatse-itis.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousNovember 10, 2011 at 9:25 PM

    My granny had a little book of daily face exercises for ladies. Now all we learn about are the kegels.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Big Bad Bald BastardNovember 10, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    The real LA story would be a Bouffant/McGravitas meetup. Please tell me it happened. Furthermore, please tell me it happened in one of those dry "canal" beds that one always sees in noirish thrillers.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Smut ClydeNovember 10, 2011 at 11:40 PM

    one of those dry "canal" beds
    Repo man's life is always intense.

    Speaking of which, was the 9-year-old driver armed, in case of attempts by repo men to repossess the car?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Substance McGravitasNovember 11, 2011 at 5:41 AM

    I was in and out of LA in an evening and a morning, and also I was scared of Bouffant's various diseases. No meetup this time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dr.KennethNoisewaterNovember 11, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    Geez, M. Substance is the love and leave 'em type, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  17. tigrisDecember 29, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    Ooh, next comes the spam link for anal clenching aesthetics!

    Captcha says besseme. Not so mucho, pal!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Substance McGravitasDecember 29, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    I'm gonna regret deleting something as cool as "pixel skin resurfacing". I've always wanted to be pixellated.

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2013 at 5:01 PM

    just stopping by to say hi

    ReplyDelete

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