If it was a woolly Marmot such as used to walk the plains of Europe in bygone days, it would be a problem in a diner. Drinking all the soup with it's trunk and such.
While all the other diners go to great lengths not to talk about the marmot in the corner of the room... Another round of banana smoothies for Table 6!
"A big rodent called a marmot." I think they're usually called "woodchucks" or "groundhogs," actually. We call ours "Ludlow." Little bastard ate all my cabbages.
I'm going to have to ask you to show me you have a permit for that Capybara you were brandishing earlier. Carrying a concealed rodent without a permit is a serious offense, and if it was loaded it could be a felony.
Even so, you could have your Capybara permit revoked by brandishing it in public.
Carrying a concealed rodent without a permit is a serious offense, and if it was loaded it could be a felony.
It's all right, officer. See this dispensation from the Pope? For purposes of Lent, the capybara is not a rodent but a fish. And it's not my capybara -- someone lent it to me.
He/she/it/marmot was probably upset by their comment section formatting.
ReplyDeleteProbably the critter's first name was Jonah.
~
Oh, hell.
ReplyDeleteIt's like they're just phoning it in.
I've hallucinated WAY weirder shit than that...
I'm imagining the story was related by Ralph Wiggum.
ReplyDelete"I was at a restaurant and I was eating food and then a marmot came into the restaurant!"
You call that a 'big rodent'? That's not a big rodent. Now this is a big rodent.
ReplyDelete[brandishes capybara].
Note that in the Post's article the marmot is eventually shooed away. AFTER GNAWING THE LEGS OFF A GRANDMOTHER. Ha ha, no just kidding, the marmot was in the restaurant and then was outside again in a short while.
ReplyDeleteIn other news there is other news of equal value.
A fortunately furry marmot. The hairless ones are the real trouble.
ReplyDeleteIf it was a woolly Marmot such as used to walk the plains of Europe in bygone days, it would be a problem in a diner. Drinking all the soup with it's trunk and such.
ReplyDeleteWhitter says Capcha, how dares ya!!!!
While all the other diners go to great lengths not to talk about the marmot in the corner of the room...
ReplyDeleteAnother round of banana smoothies for Table 6!
"A big rodent called a marmot." I think they're usually called "woodchucks" or "groundhogs," actually. We call ours "Ludlow." Little bastard ate all my cabbages.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, sir, may I have a word with you?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to ask you to show me you have a permit for that Capybara you were brandishing earlier. Carrying a concealed rodent without a permit is a serious offense, and if it was loaded it could be a felony.
Even so, you could have your Capybara permit revoked by brandishing it in public.
Capcha says cornis.
Game Hen On!
And I wasn't supposed to be in Washington until next month. I'll have to have a word with my publicist.
ReplyDeletePeople might make assumptions.
CAPTCHA directs me to the righteous Bubbe. Amen.
It wasn't the marmot that was loaded, it was the person brandishing it.
ReplyDeleteI don't care what the constitution says: the drive-by capybaraings MUST END.
ReplyDeleteGot Marmots in your Diner?? Want to get rid of them??
ReplyDeleteWOLVERINES!!!
What with the brandishisation and such going on, I don't know if I can keep coming back here. It used to be so nice
Marmot walks into a restaurant.
ReplyDelete"Do you serve many types of grasses, berries, lichens, mosses, roots and flowers?"
"Yes sir, we serve anyone."
Then they shoo him out
A Marmot walks into a bar.
ReplyDeleteThe bartender says "Hey, why the short rounded face and large molar teeth?
Capcha reviews "The Whey of the Chedie"
There are capybaras living in Florida. Or agoutis or tepescuintlis depending on where you're from. I've eaten them and they are delicious.
ReplyDeleteWhistle pigs not so much.
Capcha sez: baste, always a good idea when roasting large rodents.
Carrying a concealed rodent without a permit is a serious offense, and if it was loaded it could be a felony.
ReplyDeleteIt's all right, officer. See this dispensation from the Pope? For purposes of Lent, the capybara is not a rodent but a fish.
And it's not my capybara -- someone lent it to me.
There's a message floatin' in the air
ReplyDeleteCome from capybaras ridin' everywhere
It's a warning, it's in every tongue
Gotta stop them capybaras on the run
What a show, there they go smokin' up the sky, yeah
Capybaras all got riders and they're you and I
Capybaras
Capybaras
Capybaras
Capybaras
I am Osmandias
ReplyDeleteLook upon my works, ye mighty and eat a Marmot
Capcha says Peking duck and sea urchin is pekina