Guaranteed Funny

I'm not kidding.

For God's Sake Stop Being Such Fucking Asswipes

It's not as if a whole lot of assholes aren't named Mohammed already. It's a cute cuddly teddy, which is guaranteed to be more cuddly than nearly everybody on Earth.

If this whole $100 laptop business helps kids find solace as Klingons and furries, well the world could use a few more of those kinds of losers instead of the religious kind.

What a Worthless Prick Andrew Sullivan Is

Shorter Andrew Sullivan:

We can only wait in anticipation for the statistical measure that proves niggers are stupid.

I Can Has Sexier Don Surber

The Challenge:



The original Surberian Tiger (rowr!):



Now with 900% more sexiness:




Okay, I didn't have a camera available and had to scan my left thumb plus expertly designed paper collar (planning ahead not skill good) while fucking around with the mouse with my right. Nevertheless I have contributed much sexiness.

Romania: Your Sole Source of Stigmata-Afflicted Vagina Bears

JamesK in comments kindly points out that I hung it wrong. It's a little more grim now.

Google Has My Number

The Current Playlist

At work edition.

There's Something Funny About This...

This panel represents a moment in my life when I figured out that there was subtext to things. The image now seems obviously cribbed from some porn mag with the addition of a stupid costume and an ugly monster guy, but at the time I was sure that there was something I was not quite getting, and it was IMPORTANT.

I remain excellent at not quite getting things.

The Internet Makes Cheap Jokes Free

No fuss, no muss.

Context here and here.

The Problem with Dealing with Al Qaeda in Pakistan is Now...What?

I'm not personally an advocate of racing in there and blowing shit up, but it seems we have an anti-democratic military strongman harboring Al Qaeda in the same sense that Saddam was harboring Ansar al-Islam.

Issues of Vital Importance

Those who would lie under oath are in big trouble.

Mitt Romney Is a Worthless Shitbag

A surprising sentiment I know, but does this really paint a picture of anyone with convictions?

Mind Your Head

Stopping on the Road on a Tolerant Evening

Whose roads these are I think I know.
These public works they kind of blow;
Police can see me driving here.
But drive these roads with headlights? No.

My little car must think it queer
To drive without the lights on here
Between the hills a concrete snake
The darkest evening of the year.

A cop's lights make me hit the brake
He asks if there's been some mistake.
"The Oakland exit's some ways back,
"Are you some kind of drunken flake?"

The roads are public, each bump and crack,
But each cock-eyed dream must have its hack,
I've not been stopped because I'm black
I've not been stopped because I'm black