Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Tropical Verse

There once was a cock-boring eel,
Who squirmed his way into some heel
Who’d a date set that night
And to the cock-eel’s delight,
Cunt was its very next meal.

HIGH-QUALITY ILLUMUSTRATION UPDATE:

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TRAGIC VERISIMILITUDE UPDATE:

Here is a completely true verse about DKW's family:

Your dad's greatest role is as cock-abuse keener,
To this end he sticks a weird fish in his wiener.
The fish come right out of your mom's little flower,
And the fee to go fishing is ten bucks an hour.

FURTHER SPANKING UPDATE:

The sailors all take their turns banging your dad,
But when ship sets sail they feel secretly glad,
Because dad (and his son!) have no feel for the rhythm,
So fee-be-damned they take your mom on board with 'em.

OGDEN GNASHING UPDATE:

Your dad's wonky rhythm makes truck drivers swear
They chain his ass up so his hole stays right there.
He'll do while your mom works her way through the queue,
But if he tried to rhyme he'd just fuck that up also.

HOLIDAYS ARE APPROACHING UPDATE:

In early December your dad takes the member
Of Santa while asking for toys
But when Christmas arrives he pouts and he cries
Because Nick fucks your mom with the boys.

26 comments:

  1. This is triggering on so many levels.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Arts & Culture.

    That's what keeps me coming back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Triggerfish

    Toothpick fish, I think. AKA candiru.

    Speaking of triggerfish, big challenge to write limerick with humuhumunukunukuapua'a.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha, and what a song it is! Wikipedia tells me it was not released as a single. I wonder why.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cheap slurs right after such a sensitive illustration of the poem above?

    Your dad's greatest role is as cock-abuse keener
    To this end he sticks a weird fish in his wiener
    The fish come right out of your mom's little flower
    And the fee to go fishing is ten bucks an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The illustrations certainly add a dense narrative to the poems.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The sailors all take their turns banging your dad
    But when ship sets sail they all feel secretly glad
    Because dad (and his son!) have no feel for the rhythm
    So fee-be-damned they take your mom on board with 'em.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your obsession with meters
    Is as bad as your dad's obsession with peters.
    So what if I can't count,
    Your mom always charges me teh right amount.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's called syncopation if'n you don't mind, but I understand that you gots no swing.

    Sailors, truckers, the usual suspects again
    Are having their way with your father's rear end
    But your mom, she's unconcerned with occupation
    So long as you pay up before teh fellation.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So I'm splittin' a side at these verses see,
    With parents not what they're cracked up to be,
    'Ceptin' of course
    As catchers and whores,
    Da-dee-dum Da-dee-dum Mom-meeeeee!

    ReplyDelete
  11. There once was a man from Limerick.
    Actually, he hates limericks.
    Never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  12. There was a young man
    From Haiku. No wait. Is there
    A place called 'Haiku'?

    ReplyDelete
  13. It was not just a case of spiorchete
    That caused the burning he felt in his pete
    a fish crawled up in
    his diagnosis was grim
    now caviar's the result when he beats

    ReplyDelete
  14. The toothpick fish swims
    First up teh stream of urine
    Then in UR dad's bum.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Smells of lube and poo
    Your dad's ass opens again
    Yet your mom's the whore

    ReplyDelete
  16. Dad was lubed?
    Mom licked the santorum
    Made cocks slide well

    ReplyDelete
  17. The place called haiku
    did not smell of lube or poo
    your mom and you do

    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks to ITTDGY comments elsewhere, I am now singing AK's comment to the tune of 'Iron Man'.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Fish has a thing about spirochaetes.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fish has a thing about spirochaetes.

    We have reached an uncomfortable understanding.

    ReplyDelete
  21. War on Christmas already? But teh cosplay holiday hasn't passed yet!

    "Trick or treat?" asks your dad while gussied up as a tart.
    I stare at the ceiling
    Whilst an awkward feeling
    Is tugging at my heart.
    Not long ago that transvestite man made me forget about my cares
    But I paid for some time
    Of depradations sublime
    With your mom who's waiting upstairs.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Pene pene burning pain
    Covered with a purple stain
    Was it really kinda dumb
    to put it inside D-K's mum?

    ReplyDelete

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