Sunday, January 2, 2011

RAAAAAHH

Dave Noon found a funny person:
Cage fighter Alex Reid took things much further with his tips for health this year. Giving his fans advice on how to prepare for a match, he told the Sun: "It's actually very good for a man to have unprotected sex as long as he doesn't ejaculate. Because I believe that all that semen has a lot of nutrition. A tablespoon of semen has your equivalent of steak, eggs, lemons and oranges. I am reabsorbing it into my body and it makes me go raaaaahh."
If you want to call bullshit on this please explain the roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions who catch and milk me in the front yard every morning.
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18 comments:

  1. mikeyJanuary 2, 2011 at 10:02 AM

    Jeez. Think how powerful he'd be if he didn't poop either!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Smut ClydeJanuary 2, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    Googling for "taoism semen" brought me to the Whackyweedia page on Taoist semen retention, but also to a number of websites I could have done without.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Smut ClydeJanuary 2, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    please explain the roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions
    I accuse you of making them up as an excuse to consume more steak, eggs, lemons and oranges.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dragon-King WangchuckJanuary 2, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    You want Science! Here you go:
    Semen...calories...your mom...fat.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©January 2, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    "RAAAAAHH"

    Humbug, he supposed.
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  6. vacuumslayerJanuary 2, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    I am NOT into fad diets.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Substance McGravitasJanuary 2, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    RAAAAAHH RAAAAAHH Rasputin
    Keeps semen from the Russian queen

    ReplyDelete
  8. mikeyJanuary 2, 2011 at 6:33 PM

    I held it in, I wouldn't let
    It go, that's something you can bet
    It's all my goo, when it comes out
    It causes me to scream and shout

    The neighbors wonder what is up
    While I have to find an empty cup
    'Cause I save it all, it's mine you know
    You can't impose some kind of crazy Jizz Crowe

    It's mine, and it's power is hard to doubt
    But you just spew, you're not devout
    It contributes to my better luck, it's
    Important to remember I has a buckit

    ReplyDelete
  9. M. BouffantJanuary 2, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    Oh great, just at lunchtime too.

    I'll stick w/ a bit of sports wisdom imparted to me many yrs. ago:"No drilling before the game."

    WV: momisms.

    No, guess it was "mornisms." Still on topic.

    Now it's thystl. OT.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Big Bad Bald BastardJanuary 3, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    Cage fighter's semen
    Say the bells of St Leman.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Substance McGravitasJanuary 3, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    500 seamen stranded

    Big deal. I strand millions of those alla time.

    ReplyDelete
  12. fishJanuary 3, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Either you are conflating sperm and seamen, or I am really, really impressed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Substance McGravitasJanuary 3, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    I can do it quick too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. fishJanuary 3, 2011 at 2:59 PM

    That would be a necessity.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Substance McGravitasJanuary 3, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Yessir, right up the canal.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Smut ClydeJanuary 3, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    There was a Norwegian called Lars
    Who saved up his semen in jars.
    On days he felt frisky
    he'd mix it with whisky
    And serve it to women in bars.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Substance McGravitasJanuary 3, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    That same odd Norwegian named Lars
    Is covered with numerous scars
    From the claws and the teeth
    That the protein bequeaths
    To those that drink that which makes RAAAAAHHRs.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hamish MackJanuary 3, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Er, Mr. McG those "roving gangs of Amazons and their gay male minions" are actually City Rubbish Cleaners and they'd like you to leave them alone, please. Thanks

    ReplyDelete

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