Of 50 things that their sample of white males like, here is what has made or currently makes me white.
| White Male Interests | Past Enjoyment | Measurable Current Shit-Giving |
| van halen | 1 | |
| the big lebowski | 1 | 1 |
| soundgarden | 1 | |
| brew | 1 | 1 |
| boating | 1 | |
| groundhog day | 1 | |
| hockey | 1 | |
| blazing saddles | 1 | |
| megadeth | 1 | |
| ccr | 1 | 1 |
| robert heinlein | 1 | |
| skiing | 1 | |
| zappa | 1 | |
| nascar | 1 | |
| software | 1 | 1 |
| the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy | 1 | 1 |
| coen brothers | 1 | 1 |
| tenacious d | 1 | 1 |
| mostly rock | 1 | |
| queens of the stone age | 1 | |
| a few beers | 1 | |
| apocalypse now | 1 | 1 |
| most sports | 1 | |
| guitar | 1 | 1 |
| 24 | 10 |
x2 and I have been 48% white over the course of my life and now am a weak and tepid 20% white. Please do away with me by driving a jeep over my head.
White males outside North America suffer less humiliation, but they don't matter anyway. Counting beer twice makes sense.

7 comments:
No Killdozer?
~
groundhog day seems like an odd holiday to have such a fervent white-guy fanbase.
also, your chang in status on zappa will cause thunder and Willy to come down on you like a ton of bricks.
I've asked for a jeep. What's that, a quarter ton?
I like a few of those things, but I think only hockey and the big lebowski have a shot at making my online dating profile. Prolly not hockey, these days. Does that mean I'm self loathing white or that I'm dying to date a black chick?
Oh, well, in a dating profile...um...nearly STD free?
Dating Profile Protip: Crabs aren't a "real" STD.
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