Sunday, November 15, 2009

Glenn Reynolds, The Future Is NOW!

Fundamental change:
A man whose bowel was damaged in a motorcycle crash has been given a bionic bottom.
at

34 comments:

  1. mikeyNovember 15, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    Look, I like appropriate approaches to alliteration as much as the next fellow, but really, "Bionic Bottom"? Is that really the best you can do?

    I, myself, prefer "Reliable Replacement Rectum"...

    ReplyDelete
  2. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©November 15, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    Were rivets used to attach the rear end?
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  3. tigrisNovember 15, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    Does it make the bionic "ch-ch-ch-ch" sounds when he poops? Because that would be AWESOME. I also find myself wondering what kind of distance he can get nowadays.

    I, myself, prefer "Reliable Replacement Rectum"...

    That is much, much better. Can you squeeze "robot" in there somewhere, maybe?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Substance McGravitasNovember 15, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    Does it make the bionic "ch-ch-ch-ch" sounds when he poops?

    The poops are bigger, longer, faster.

    ReplyDelete
  5. J—November 15, 2009 at 12:10 PM

    The medical team took a muscle from above his knee, wrapped it around his sphincter

    A sphincter wrapped in a quadriceps inside an anus.

    These are now operated by a palm-sized remote control that he carries in his pocket.

    Can you get that as an iPhone app?

    ReplyDelete
  6. herr doktor bimlerNovember 15, 2009 at 12:27 PM

    Even now, people like J-- are stalking the poor dude and pointing various remotes at him in the hope of hitting the right frequency.

    This has been standard surgery for years but SLOW NEWS DAY.

    ReplyDelete
  7. zombie rotten mcdonaldNovember 15, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    You people are twisted.

    You'd make good zombies.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hamish MackNovember 15, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    Not as twisted as the new sphincter muscle, of course

    ReplyDelete
  9. ckc (not kc)November 15, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    The poops are bigger, longer, faster.

    ...better watch it - those Olympic merchandising watchdogs are ever vigilant

    ReplyDelete
  10. tigrisNovember 15, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    those Olympic merchandising watchdogs are ever vigilant

    That totally gives me an idea for how to update the Olympic rings...

    ReplyDelete
  11. herr doktor bimlerNovember 15, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    tigris is banned.

    ReplyDelete
  12. herr doktor bimlerNovember 15, 2009 at 2:25 PM

    Can you squeeze "robot" in there somewhere, maybe?
    Words one does not want to hear from the doctor in the course of the prostate exam.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ckc (not kc)November 15, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    ...along with "That's peculiar!"

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  14. mikeyNovember 15, 2009 at 2:52 PM

    And "...Just...a...LITTLE...Farther"

    ReplyDelete
  15. herr doktor bimlerNovember 15, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    "Nurse, you can stop looking for that missing spatula!"

    ReplyDelete
  16. ckc (not kc)November 15, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    ..."have I told you about my skin condition?"

    ReplyDelete
  17. J—November 15, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    This has been standard surgery for years

    Let me try my garage door opener then.

    ReplyDelete
  18. zombie rotten mcdonaldNovember 15, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    "Did you find the missing miners yet, doc?"

    ReplyDelete
  19. mikeyNovember 15, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    My money's on that cheesy AppleTV remote...

    ReplyDelete
  20. ckc (not kc)November 15, 2009 at 3:57 PM

    ..."You know, there's a funny thing about the prostate..."

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hamish MackNovember 15, 2009 at 4:36 PM

    In other butt news

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  22. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©November 15, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    "Bad Butt Injection"

    Were these your search terms for that article, A.K.?
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  23. herr doktor bimlerNovember 15, 2009 at 4:47 PM

    That would be the buttoxin.

    ReplyDelete
  24. J—November 15, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    Well, it probably wasn't Mazola corn oil, because that stuff can kill you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. tigrisNovember 15, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Those buttox injections are awful; you still have the smile, but your cheeks can't move so no one can read your true emotion and it ends up just looking like a rectus.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hamish MackNovember 15, 2009 at 5:48 PM

    Thunder, I was on Lickingtheriver.com and the story just came up.
    How does Oily Tatz fit into this, metaphorically speaking, of course

    ReplyDelete
  27. mikeyNovember 15, 2009 at 6:01 PM

    It is my understanding that Bigfoot had buttox injections, which apparently is proof that he's Sasquatch or something...

    ReplyDelete
  28. ckc (not kc)November 15, 2009 at 6:02 PM

    ...looking like a rectus...

    rictus..rectum...Two Orifices in One!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. zombie rotten mcdonaldNovember 15, 2009 at 6:17 PM

    I watched the Wizard of Oz last night.

    In the scene where they rescue the Tin Man, at one point Dorothy asks him "where would you like the oil?"

    I snickered.

    ReplyDelete
  30. M. BouffantNovember 15, 2009 at 6:31 PM

    Mazola (& Wesson) oil: Lubricants, not injectable!!

    How many times must I tell you kids this?

    ReplyDelete
  31. mikeyNovember 15, 2009 at 6:43 PM

    So what do you recommend for those pesky nights when there's not enough money for the brown?

    White wine? Or Red?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Substance McGravitasNovember 15, 2009 at 6:57 PM

    Boy, the poop thread filled up fast.

    Got the runsos.

    ReplyDelete
  33. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©November 17, 2009 at 4:15 PM

    I see my attempt to have the "link to this post" show up has failed.

    Even with the brand new pc and operating system!

    That's it. Good bye, cruel world!
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  34. Substance McGravitasNovember 18, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    And so soon after the fall of GeoCities.

    Such sad symbolism.

    ReplyDelete

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