Hey, hey! It says "through it's Monastery" So I get absolution from some monks through The Great Subby!?! Sounds a bit dodgey and it's not like it's signed by a celebrity or nuthin' I would refrain from a sin orgy based on being able to wipe the slate clean by coming here, just for now, me hearties.
They're probably fine in California. A friend of mine had fun presiding over a marriage. She did a great job too. I believe her ordination cost $24 at the time; ULC seems to charge $12 for something that might suffice.
In the County of San Francisco anyone 18 or over can be empowered to officiate one wedding in one 24-hour period so long as the ceremony is secular. And you pay the fee, of course.
When my sister got married in 2001 that's exactly what they did. A very good friend of ours got the 24 hour certificate and presided over the wedding in the guise of a Fijian prince. He wrote the intro and then they said their vows. It was SO cool...
I used to get spam e-mails claiming that the sender was related to some dead Borgia pope who was unable to access all the spiritual treasure he had saved up in heaven through his good works. But if I would just buy a few indulgences and get him out of Limbo, I'd get my share.
I think the repetition of dates represents some sort of span of time, which was why I was extra super-smart to stick "forever" in there. HA! Take that, omnipotent being(s)!
funny, I don't FEEL cleansed. The undead should stop presuming that they know how things feel they don't. It is just this sort of patronizing attitude, together with wanting to eat branes, that makes them unpopular at parties.
Well, if it was a contract you'd have to argue that any technical out allowed for in that portion is rendered absurd by the rest of the document and the point of it, which is a grant of absolution from birth until now.
Hanx, d00d.
ReplyDelete~
Dammit!
ReplyDeleteSome of us are kinda proud of our sins, yanno. Lots of effort put into some of them.
Now they just all get wiped out....
Fortunately, it is pretty damn easy to find another sect that has enough goofy-ass rules that you can rack up some new ones pretty fast.
I thought a proper indulgence came with a fee.
ReplyDeleteIn any event, I think this document is a Zairean fake. The date looks funny.
You can settle some of those theological questions on your own.
ReplyDeleteHey, hey! It says "through it's Monastery"
ReplyDeleteSo I get absolution from some monks through The Great Subby!?!
Sounds a bit dodgey and it's not like it's signed by a celebrity or nuthin'
I would refrain from a sin orgy based on being able to wipe the slate clean by coming here, just for now, me hearties.
So can you marry people and shit? Nothing says gravitas like presiding over a wedding.
ReplyDeleteThey're probably fine in California. A friend of mine had fun presiding over a marriage. She did a great job too. I believe her ordination cost $24 at the time; ULC seems to charge $12 for something that might suffice.
ReplyDeleteOne can officiate at Funerals as well, which might come in handy at certain times in ones career
ReplyDeleteThe First National Church Of The Undead does weddings for ANYBODY. Seriously
ReplyDeleteWe will also consecrate your car.
And curses. Curses are no problem.
just email for a rate card.
In the County of San Francisco anyone 18 or over can be empowered to officiate one wedding in one 24-hour period so long as the ceremony is secular. And you pay the fee, of course.
ReplyDeleteWhen my sister got married in 2001 that's exactly what they did. A very good friend of ours got the 24 hour certificate and presided over the wedding in the guise of a Fijian prince. He wrote the intro and then they said their vows. It was SO cool...
ReplyDeleteIn poland they keep calling me persvlki
I am a bit relieved that the sins I did pre-conception are absolved. There was that one party in the fallopian tube...
ReplyDeleteThat's an original sin.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it was very original, but I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI used to get spam e-mails claiming that the sender was related to some dead Borgia pope who was unable to access all the spiritual treasure he had saved up in heaven through his good works. But if I would just buy a few indulgences and get him out of Limbo, I'd get my share.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it worked.
"Wednesday the 22nd 2009f July 2009".
ReplyDeleteIs this one of those days that disappeared during the calendar reform?
I think the repetition of dates represents some sort of span of time, which was why I was extra super-smart to stick "forever" in there. HA! Take that, omnipotent being(s)!
ReplyDeletefunny, I don't FEEL cleansed.
ReplyDeletefunny, I don't FEEL cleansed. The undead should stop presuming that they know how things feel they don't.
ReplyDeleteIt is just this sort of patronizing attitude, together with wanting to eat branes, that makes them unpopular at parties.
excellent!
ReplyDeleteLooks like that last bit o' fine print has an out:
ReplyDelete"... Punishment for Sin In This World."
Sin in this world or punishment in this world? Fooking lawyers.
Word Verif advises me to shampoo: "Prell," it says.
Well, if it was a contract you'd have to argue that any technical out allowed for in that portion is rendered absurd by the rest of the document and the point of it, which is a grant of absolution from birth until now.
ReplyDeleteI forgive you.