Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Poems I Always Hated

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I have fucked
your mum
while we were in
your bedroom
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and while
you were probably
shopping
for Mother's Day
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Forgive me
she was delicious
so sweet
and so old
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Context here and here.
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16 comments:

  1. Whose plums these are I think I know.
    She's shopping in the village though;
    She will not see me stopping here
    To eat her breakfast icebox sloe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah. It's recursive. And googlursive.

    Kinda like an acronym like BNB that stands for Bubba's not Bubbalicious.

    Recursive.

    Gonna go stir the Bernaise now...

    mikey

    ReplyDelete
  3. I notice
    you corrected your typo
    in this, the vault copy

    Grammar zombie Police
    issues warning
    straighten the fuck up
    or we will send Grannies to Stomp your Eyebrows

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, right. Thanks for the reminder.

    ReplyDelete
  5. herr doktor bimlerMay 26, 2009 at 7:47 PM

    I think that I will never eat
    A plum as flavourful as meat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. herr doktor bimlerMay 26, 2009 at 8:06 PM

    "You are old, Mother Mary," the young man said,
    "You are barely one step from the tomb.
    And yet all my friend come around just to fuck you.
    Do you think you could use your own room?"

    ReplyDelete
  7. I saw the best plums in refrigeration consumed with gladness, starving roommates naked,

    dragging themselves through the laden fridge at dawn looking for a breakfast fix

    ReplyDelete
  8. I saw the plums, they looked a bit
    Moldy, and around the pit
    There seemed to be some kind of bugs
    Wetas crawling, or maybe just the drugs

    The Blackberries were what I chose to eat
    They were perfect, rich and sweet
    I used the last of the half and half
    But then I pissed in the carton for a laugh...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
    Do, do, do, do, do, do, do
    Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
    Do, do, do, do, do, do, do

    I was made for lovin you Granny
    You were made for lovin me
    And I cant get enough of you Granny
    Can you get enough of me???

    As el capcha would say "Puncho"

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Blackberries were what I chose to eat

    Did they blend?

    Also, PARPH.

    ReplyDelete
  11. herr doktor bimlerMay 26, 2009 at 11:20 PM

    "You are old, Mother Mary," the young man said,
    "As I earlier ventured to say.
    Yet you frequently feature on MILF-of-the-Week;
    You even shagged Billy, who's gay."

    "In my youth," said his mother, "I flatted with friends,
    And often I pilfered their plums.
    The fructose I swallowed has rotted my teeth,
    But given me soft supple gums."

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wondered lonely at a plum
    That sits in icebox here and chills,
    When all at once I must succumb,
    and eat your breakfast if it kills;
    I'm sorry, dear; I left a note,
    a half apology, half gloat.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh you can't bounce a meatball
    So try with all your might
    Turn on the radio
    Your plums took just three bites

    ReplyDelete
  14. Those were nice plums
    I wonder who owned them
    Now they are gone

    ReplyDelete
  15. There once was a person with fruit
    A poet thought he'd have a hoot
    By eating those plums
    Leaving nothing but crumbs
    And that's why I'm writing this noot.

    ReplyDelete

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