1. Censor movies
2. Do something about baseball
3. Fire an unspecified amount of politicians
4. Make sure some other people he doesn't like are somehow humiliated
5. Try George Soros for Nazi collaboration
6. Make people shut up about the Fairness Doctrine to thwart all those powerful Democrats he just fired
Most of this doesn't sound too bad I guess, and the fact that there currently isn't a pressing need for the government to do anything about anything - I checked! - means I'd be willing to give Burt a spin.
I look forward to his thrilling speeches.
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!
America's Favorite Humorist:
Erma Bombeck?
Mark Twain?
David Sedaris?
Will Rogers?
Patrick McManus?
Garrison Keillor?
Bill Cosby?
There we go.
After Michael "Wheels of" Steele gets his no confidence vote on, I say make Kenesaw Mountain Landis head of the GOP forever.
ReplyDeleteI believe that linky is a BurtRoll.
ReplyDeletePreluts-bomb?
I see he's not inherently anti-kids-on-lawn, though, which is a surprise and a point in his favor. Unless he just forgot, in which case he's senile in addition to being a crochety, boring old coot.
ReplyDeleteI take it back, the whole post is one big "Damn kids, git off my Mall". Somebody buy him a La-Z-Boy and a subscription to the 24-hr Matlock channel.
ReplyDeleteRumble seats would be cool though. I bet he'd bring those back. Also beating up sheenies.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! I forgot he is Jewish!
"Conservatives are from Mars, Liberals are from San Francisco."
ReplyDeleteIllegals! All of them!
DEPORT THEM.
Surely the angry folks from the war-god planet couldn't cause any harm. They do play the Wagner all night though...
ReplyDeleteI like the way Burp plays the rough old coot with a heart of gold. It's just that the heart is actually obsidian and the rough old coot wants to kill people he doesn't like.
ReplyDeleteZombie Rotten McDonald might be able to bring the WhattheFuck Mountain person back
Perhaps he could animate Burt a little more.
ReplyDeleteI think 400 volts up the wazoo should be tried first.
ReplyDeleteJoseph Farah laughed for 6 straight hours? Somebody better check his dosage: get the dart gun!
ReplyDeleteWas he bikini boy?
ReplyDeleteAre you talking about the scary flag-like Speedo photo? If so, I believe that was Gordon Liddy. Oh, there is the one with the guy plec-flexing, that might be Farah. Now excuse me while I kill myself.
ReplyDeleteIt was like a madstorm of maleness.
ReplyDeleteSadstorm of staleness, maybe. Ew.
ReplyDeleteAha! Fumento!
ReplyDeleteBlogwhoring myself is strangely unsatisfying.
Ye gods, that is worse than I remembered. No muscles, just beer gut.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need to pay yourself better? Of course, then you'll only pimp-slap yourself and take a bigger cut. You're one mean mofo.
It's just that sometimes I am so sweet to me and I really care...
ReplyDeleteAw man, you're playing right into your hands!
ReplyDeleteYou know, that just sounds so wrong.
And yet it has the wring of truth.
ReplyDelete